Recap - I am singing in the kitchen at I am at Carnagie Hall and it fells real good to singing, this is one of the many things that I used to do I don't do anynore.......hmmmm, strange I wonder why.  Something is missing........ the female with no home training is pregnant and it is very clear that she is.Maybe about five months......she got a STD from Clueless...... he has shown more signs of anything Something is strange.....very strange the ringing of the phone broke my meditation vibe I had going on. I answered the phone and it was my Ob/Gyn . The nurse informed me that there is no need to alarmed to be about test results;however,it wasto inform me that I had left my checkbook in the exam yesterday. OK no problem I will pick it up Monday morning. She did confirm that everything was normal. I knew that it was the case. I stopped singing then started really thinking while doing a little light cleaning with my daughters before we leave to pick a movie. I never really understood why I couldn't be intimate with him all those times I wanted to but couldn't be.......was it it my subconscience telling me to pay attention......I had even went to conseling for veterans like me thinking that is was because I have been deployed to a third world country for almost 2 years...........well, truth be told it was some of the problem. The pieces of the puzzle still did not fit........or did they? Thinking back to the time I came home Last year in January all we did was argue. The arguements were very stupid such as who left the cap off the toothpaste then it later escalated to an actually hand to hand combat. All the times it was an amazing thing to not have my future great leaders witness any of the antics that went on but heard about it in the aftermath. Big Moma has always told me that 100 % of the time when you and your husband are arguing about something so simple as who left the cap off the toothpaste, the problem is not the cap  being left off the toothpaste its about the problem you are not talking about. She has always advise me to listen to my conscience because that's GOD way talking to us; however, its our choice whether or not to listen. ahhhhhh, I surely was listening and watching. This is when the clues started appearing. I decided not to tell Mommieanything just yet because I require more to myself. I wondered how long has he been sticking his penile pole in the vast female speices then coming home to me. Had I been that blind not to see? Did he use a condom? Well it's very clear that he has been using any kind of protection. Will he be truthful once and for all......... My thoughts had to be refocused for it was time for Girl's Nyte out. Tonight it will be all about the laughter