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So it begins........

My first thoughts on deciding to write a blog are, if im honest, pretty mixed.On the one hand is abut sad, ones going to even read it and if they do, why would anyone really give one about some random persons life?? But on the other hand Im not the loudest of people ( Dont get me wrong,i always speak my mind and my friends sometimes have trouble shutting me up but when it comes to thoughts/feelings etc im abit dysfunctional!) so I suppose a blog is like telling your friends what you actually want to tell them wihout having to actually listen, or in this case, have anyone really read it!Mwahahaha!

I dont want to sound like Im feeling sorry for myself here, or that my problems are the worst in the world. Infact my 'problems' are barely even problems in the grand scheme of things but right now they're whats getting me down a little so there you go......

Me and TeaGuy are definatly no longer talking, which is abit shit if im honest. Despite the fact that I know he didnt ever really care that much (the face he only ever get in touch when drunk of bored told me that) Im still mad at myself for sending him the angry text. My logic was that it would be easier to not talk to him if I thought I was angry at him.I could go for weeks without giving him a second thought then he'd gve me a shout for a brew and whenever I left he would become all that I'd think about for a while.I think with the way things happened its got to be all or nothing with TeaGuy, and right now its defintly nothing.
I cant just be his friend.
UpstairsGuy however wants to be my friend and that I dont think I want to do. I think I must be way too nice to people, I need to be abit of a bitch every now and then and take my own advice. After not hearing from him in months UpstairsGuy gets in touch to say 'Hey!'. Thats it, thats all he writes. So all he gets is a 'Hey' back.A string of unimportant, pointless messages continue back and forth that contain mountains of me sarcasm and heaps of his manipulation. This I could put with, its when he asks me for relationship advice for him and his longterm girlfriend that I just dont get???? Dont ask me for advice on how you can improve your relationship with the girl you've been with for nearly 2 years when no little that 3 months ago were you trying your best to get into my bed.I found out you had a girlfriend when she came to visit and you were leaving the building, you live upstairs - how would you ever have gotten away with that? And please tell me why the hell I should be happy to give you relationship advice....is it just me or is that random?Your a total sleaze, WHY should I help out?? I know all thats true, but the most important question is why, after all that, does part of me want to help out??
MusicGuy - we've been in touch constantly on and off since january, we had a good catch up in the pub.A quick drink ended in a 3 hour chat were you walked to the pictures to plan the 2nd date.That was all you, not me. And then we leave...................................and thats it. Whats the deal there,huh?????