I am exhausted. This is an understatement. I am so tired I can barely keep open my eyes as I write. For anyone that has noticed my absence, I have been working. Not just working, working about fourteen hours a day. This is enough to break down the toughest person. And it has been wearing on my soul daily.
 
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Wake up, shower, work, come home, sleep. Days blending into each other, I find I do not have time to even dream these days. Everyday more and more people are falling ill, and the work that must be done, while spread evenly among those that are still there, is still overpowering. No time to breath, no time to relax, it must get done.
As I worked today, the pressure from the bosses bearing down on me, I found all I wanted to do was just pick up my computer and throw it across the room, to say forget it, to leave. As the hours ticked on, I wondered why I continue to be here, day after day, night after night of long hours. I do not even remember when I passed from my normal work week into overtime. I wondered why I do this.
Thoughts drifting, I looked out the window across the room, to the grey sky, and wished I was outside, even with the cold almost winter air blowing across the parking lot. I wanted more than anything to just get up, walk out that door, and follow where my dreams urge me to go. I wanted to find what I have been looking for, the elusive fantasies that seem to almost toy with me at times, beckoning me, only to disappear like smoke when I near them. This is what I wanted.
But I did not get up. I stayed where I was. I worked, and continued to feel my energy being drained out of me. Will I have enough energy to even chase my dreams anymore? Or will I find myself to tired to move when they again come into my line of vision. As I glanced at the clock, and saw it was still hours away before I leave, I decided something then.
Somehow, someway, I would always muster up the energy to chase my dreams, no matter what.
21 Guns
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I
When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I
Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?
When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky
One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I
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