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I realise that I have been irrational about my relationship with Nathan. I worry all of the time that things aren't the what that they should be, even though I'm basically happy with the way that things are, doesn't really make sense, does it? He couldn't treat me any better, really he couldn't, he always worries about my welfare and wants to know if there is anything that he can do if I'm not in good spirits, physical or emotional, but I always say, "no" even before I've even thought about the question. I always got upset with him because he didn't want me to do things for him, but I wanted to, but I'm being a hypocrite because I won't let him do things for me even though he wants to, it's so silly.
It's just that I've spent the majority of my life not really allowing myself to depend on others to assist me, I'm not saying that I didn't allow it if it was offered, it was more that I just assumed that they wouldn't offer, but I don't want to be this way with Nathan, he has shattered every worry that I have, even though I still have them, some of the time, it's just going to take time, I guess. I just don't want to let myself think about those things because then they start to consume me and get out of control, what starts out as a silly notion becomes a full-on obsession and there's really no reason for that, I just have to keep myself busy, which is hard not being able to drive or work.
What I'm trying to say is that I'm turning over a new leaf in the Nathan relationship, I can't blame him for all of the other buttheads in my life.
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Posted by Nerdnutt on 2008-07-25 23:30:03 | Rating: | Views: 19
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