Thoughts - Nerdnutt's blogs

Nerdnutt's Profile

Links

User Profile

Nerdnutt's Blogs in February 2008

What I Need
I need lots and lots of physical affection, that's what I've come to realise. I went through the large majority of my life not allowing people to get too close to me phyically, I was afraid that they'd run screaming. I am fat, I am deformed, I am missing teeth, I never......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-14 09:05:36 | Rating:

| Views: 70 | Comments: 0 | Tags: Relationships attraction

What I need (cont.)
So, while I myself am overweight I've never really found any overweight men attractive. When I first met my boyfriend, whom I met online, I thought that he was kinda goofy looking, big hair, as in thick, lots of it and not necessarily tame, tall and looked kinda gangly......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-14 19:38:31 | Rating:

| Views: 65 | Comments: 0 | Tags: touching appearances

Fetish fascination!
Okay, so let's jump right in a discuss one of the reasons that I started this whole thing. Nathan has a fetish, one that I'm pretty sure that he didn't want me to find out about, and frankly after what it's caused, I'd rather not have known about. Now, while I have......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-14 20:26:06 | Rating:

| Views: 233 | Comments: 3 | Tags: fetishes sex understanding

Man Muscle
I love penises, or at least Nathan's, it's the only one that I'm really dealing with. Sure, I always liked to look at them, but you really don't understand the magnetic pull of the penis until you've been in contact with one. When we are rolling around on the bed and......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-14 21:13:34 | Rating:

| Views: 71 | Comments: 0 | Tags: fixation

Bite Me!
Well, since I am trying to communicate more about what I need in the bedroom department, I told him that I wanted him to bite me. I'm not really sure how hard or where, well, I mean, I like the nipple and neck nibbles, so, I figured that I want more. He's been pretty......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-15 00:13:41 | Rating:

| Views: 90 | Comments: 2 | Tags: sex biting

But I NEED It!
Almost every day I tell myself that I'm not going to need to have sexual relations when we go to bed, or he goes to bed, sometimes I go with him just to get some even though I know that I won't be going to sleep at that point. It's not just about the physical aspect,......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-15 05:22:58 | Rating:

| Views: 101 | Comments: 1 | Tags: sex relationships

I am, gulp, depressed.
It's been the 500-pound gorilla in the room for quite some time now, at least to me, maybe others have seen it as well but didn't want to admit it, I'm pretty sure that I'm depressed, like more than just having a bad day kind of thing. There are two main factors, one......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-15 14:17:26 | Rating:

| Views: 92 | Comments: 1 | Tags: depression therapy

Definitely obsessed
Okay, so I start my counseling on Thursday at 11:00, I have many things to discuss, but right now the big is his whole fetish dealyhoo, I can't stop thinking about it. There is the rational part of me that is telling me over and over that it has nothing to do with me,......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-15 16:46:37 | Rating:

| Views: 143 | Comments: 1 | Tags: attraction therapy fetishes

It's not funny!
I, like many of the population, I'm sure, have been made fun of most of my life, by classmates, co-workers, loved ones, friends even. When someone such as a friend or family member does this, sometimes I would say, "That's mean" or "That hurts my......Read More

Posted on: 2008-02-16 12:45:28 | Rating:

| Views: 90 | Comments: 2 | Tags: self-esteem joking feelings

Date night!
We are going out tonight, a concert, a pseudo-local band, they are kinda garage rock, I guess, he introduced me to them, they seem pretty cool. We are going with his dad, it's for his birthday, the dad's birthday, that is. I connect with people by talking about......Read More