I'm going out of town tomorrow for the day, going up north. My friend's going with me. It'll be a blast. I really need to just get away for the day without my kids and to spend some time with my friends. A friend of mine is watching the kids tomorrow.
So, I finally got a hold of the human resources person at the store I want to transfer to, but she said they aren't hiring until "sometime in April." That helps. Thanks a lot. My mom wants me to leave the kids up here for a couple of weeks while I try to find a place and to work down there. It might be a good plan, but the only problem there is my mom tends to back out of just about everything she offers to help with, so I don't know if I'm willing to commit to that. It's almost an 8-hour drive if she changes her mind.
I went out to coffee with a friend of mine that wants to date me. I don't know. I DO like him, but sometimes I just want to bitch-slap him. Maybe I just need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him. But there again, what's the point in starting something if I'm not going to stay here.
I don't know. I've been thinking. What if I do just stick it out here? I'm having so many problems with getting a transfer, finding a place.... So, what if I just stayed, tried to get into college, got into the family dorms here? That would be okay too, I guess. It's just having to deal with my ex, who is pretty much completely crazy.
This sucks. I'm torn between trying to start my life over here and starting a new life there. I've got so much going for me here right now. I love my baby sitter, I love my boss (not neccessarily the job most days), but I really have been doing better here. And I know I could do so much better. I want to get a place, I want to live my life my way. I want so badly to just raise my kids myself, even if I didn't get child support, who cares? I would give up what income that would bring me just so I could be left the fuck alone.
I think my son had a mild seizure the other night. He has a tendancy to hold his breath if he's pissed off, hurt, or really upset, and he did that. But then he stiffened up and kind of started shaking. When he regained conciousness, it took him like 20 minutes to become fully aware again. I'm going to schedule an appointment on Monday.
Anyway, I know I could go on forever but right now, I really should go.
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