Let me start off by saying FUCK. I got the paternity results from my kids. My daughter was a dead match. My son.... .05% probability. Meaning that my jerk-off ex isn't the father. Normally, I'd be happy about this. But I'm not. Because I know who the father is now. And he's worse. Ten times worse. So, now that I've got those back, it doesn't make anything any better. It's going to get thrown in my face, but I don't even care about that. My ex knew what the possibilities were. He knew all the fact. Now I need to get my son's name changed and my ex taken off the birth certificate. Oh fucking well.
One thing that pisses me off: I got a bill for the testing. 99 bucks and I'm not going to fucking pay it! I was court-ordered to get those tests done, it wasn't an option. SO I'm not paying for them. No fucking way in hell. Fuck. Fuck. I have court in like 3 weeks. I'm not organized, I don't know what the hell my game plan is, or even how to go about it.
I've been putting on a face like I'm alright, but I'm not. I'm really not. I keep thinking about the fact that my son is the product of something horrible, and that I will NEVER reveal the father's name to anyone. Should I charge him, dear readers, with the rape he commited on the 30th of October in 2005??? Or should I be content with the fact that I love my son dearly and simple raise him without him having to know what happened.
I am at a total loss here. I need some advice, badly.
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