If you haven't experienced paralyzing heartbreak, this post is probably not for you.

But I definitely had a revelation tonight. I know "paralyzing heartbreak" sounds a little dramatic, but the truth is, like many people I've genuinely been there.

Just for a reference point - abandon trivialities/lust/appearances - I am talking about having a connection so powerful with someone that it makes you delirious. I'm not a fatalist and I know nothing of religion, so I wondered many times throughout our 3 years together how we managed to find each other among 6 billion people, etc. blah blah.

You can become arguably more delirious when facing the 'End' of the relationship.

Anyhow I've spent 3 extra years just trying to get over the situation (but not getting over this 'god' of an ex-bf I thought I had) and tonight I may have fallen out of love with him, perhaps. I think. No, I really think so.

Because it doesn't matter what you had, thought you had, or otherwise. When two people decide to break up to explore other options because they're young, and neither of them are the type to settle down in their very early 20s, this means 2 things.

1. Breaking up is the only option. (6 years of challenging this notion, this is my conclusion - regardless of any angle you look at it. or any angle I looked at it)

2. The natural attraction, amazing dynamic, mind-blowing sex, all the ideals the other person fulfilled for you, and so on with the list - the relationship simply could not hold together organically. And it needs to hold together organically for both people, because Independent Person A and Heartbroken-Over-Person-A Person B do not make a relationship.

The point of # 2, is that there is zero sense in holding on to the idea that you will always feel so passionately for your ex (because of how naturally everything fit together). Not only does it really depress you for three years, or longer in other cases, perhaps.

But one day you will organically (I love this word) reach the conclusion, that regardless of your entire experience - you cannot give your heart to someone, who despite loving you, thinks there is more out there to explore.

He may be brilliant, painfully sexy, really turn you on in every and any way - but he is an idiot.

And when you really, REALLY see the light for yourself even though the world has been telling you this for 365 days, 3 times over - then you realize that you are NOT vulnerable, you applaud your own strength and immense capacity to love selflessly, and you know what? You fucking move on.

Without feeling the need to throw yourself in another relationship, or needing someone to move on to. Without jealousy.  With only well wishes for a person who was an important part of your young adulthood. You truly claim yourself back.