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| breaks my heart.. |
i was at a Fashion Show Party last friday, Oct. 30 in Dapitan when i saw H arriving the scene with a classy lady. that sight itself crushed my heart. i can't remember anymore when was the last time i felt that kind of pain. if my memory serves me right, i think it was when i was in my 4th year in highschool when me and a boyfriend broke up after i found out he was cheating on me.
in my last blog, i said that for now, i'll just enjoy this feeling. but this time, i'll change that. i know that the feeling of being inspired is great but when pain strikes you, it's definitely a feeling you don't want to savor. the pain i felt at that time was so intense that it was so hard to bear. i saw him put his hands behind her, assisting her in going inside the club. it was like a picture that has been flashing on my mind over and over again for days now. it's like a bad dream that keeps on haunting me.
if letting go is as easy as saying "i let go", i must have been free from this feeling so long time ago. but it's not. it's a process that when you failed in the middle, you have to go back from the start. probably this is why the feeling is still here because i have failed, not just once, in forgetting all about him.
i wish mudayon na lang sya ug larga. like we won't see each other for a long time. long enough for me to forget him, his face or even his name. or even the fact that he existed in my world.
that night i asked God why he is letting me feel this way, why he ever let me meet him. i prayed before i slept that first, He would take away the pain; and second, take away the feeling because it's never easy to fall for someone when you know you can't be loved back..or worse, he just don't feel the same way for you. that's a lot of pain.
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Posted by N on 2009-11-03 20:57:32 | Rating: | Views: 14
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