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| Disappointing Me :( |
Tonight I seen "Disapointing Hug" guy again. He is really sweet and has the cutest dimples when he smiles ;) But tonight it was me who may have been the disapointment. We were enjoyng a fabulous steak dinner and talking about stuff. He asked me why my ex and I broke up. I answered him as short and as sweet as possible. Simply stated that we beat the crap out of eachother for 3 years. Ya ya no boo hoos. And he said "Oh now I know why you're so guarded". Up until that point I had no idea I was that way. But I thought about it and he is right. I keep people that I date at a distance. (Even though I rather not call them dates lol) I have never really considered going any farther than the typical coffee date with the others. And now I am freakin scared out of my mind. I guess this means that I am not over the ex. I have no idea how to date someone. I have always been in long term realtionships and I always knew that I was supposed to be there. Now I dont know what to do. So I explained to him how I felt. (Sometimes I think I am too honest. My friend says that I am. LOL) He wasnt angry with me but he said to me "all I want is a chance, thats all). Ugghhh now I feel even worse. Should I feel this way? Probably not since I am being true to mysef but I still feel bad because I dont know exactly what I want. And the last thing I want is to mess with his head. I would love to stay friends and see where it goes but I will have to play the waiting game and have faith that what is meant to be will....Well enough of my rambling...Ho Hum..MLU
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