Ok, this is a very long story... So if you are not in the mood to read or what not... this probly isn't where you should be.
     I have just turned 16 november 17. I have been living with terrible pain for 3 years now. I will start at the begining.


     I was 13 at the time. It was summer. My dad was adopted and I was very curios about who my real grandparents where so me and my dads girlfriend of 5 years had looked them up previous and now this summer I was to go and spend 2 weeks with my biological Grand father who lived in Tennessee.
    I went and spent the 2 weeks and my dad and his girlfriend(Iris) came and picked me up. They said we were going to pick up Iris's 25 year old son David up from South Carolina. (I had heard alot about david. He wasn't really living a straight life. He was pretty deep into drugs and all that.) Iris said that we were going to bring him back to our home in texas because he was ready to get clean and straighten out his life.
    He pretty much cried the whole way home, he had 3 children. 2 from a girl named ashley,(who were fairly young) and another from the girl he was leaving. Her name was Elizabeth(who was 6 months old) He had to get straight.
    We got back home and David moved into one of my dads rent houses down the road(the house i grew up in). Iris and David were hanging out alot fixing up the house and stuff, and my dad (as usual) was only home long enough to eat and sleep. He was home after sunset, gone before sun rise. and I was stuck with Jessica. Iris's daughter(who was only 7 months younger than I) Sometimes I would go and hang out with  Iris and David which was realy fun, David was hillarious, but something was missing in my life.
    Me and Jessica DID NOT get along. We absolutly hated eachother. She was always lieing to her mom and getting me introuble. I got to the point, that summer, where I hated where I was at. I just wanted a family. I wanted to be around people that I could trust.(Iris's was weird, sometimes i could trust her, others she would stab my back)
So I went to live with my mom. I had a big family over there, with all my brothers and sisters and everybody could trust everybody. So I moved to my mothers house.
    Iris and my dad were so upset that i left. the only person who was happy about it was Jessica. Iris hated it the worst. I stayed away a long time until everyone could calm down about what happened. I remember going and visiting once and Iris was kinda a bitch so I didn't go back for a long time again.
   I am guessing maybe about 6 months later things got better. I would go to my dads and hang out with Iris and David and we would just have fun. I got into the myspace thing and added David as my friend and made jessica a myspace and made her as my friend. And i dont remember exactly how everything happend but...
   I think it started out with myspace. David had sent me this message that implied that he liked me but didn't come right out and say that. I asked him what he meant and he said that I was a smart girl and I could figure it out. We messaged back and forth a little and it wasn't anything serious so to me it was whatever.
   I was just interested in what suprises may lay in the text. Then I got to thinking... I went to my dads a little more and hung out. We looked a little longer in eachothers eyes but nothing very serious. I don't remember what the excuse was for me to have his number in my phone, but I think it was something about jessica thought he was mad at her and she wanted me to ask him or something like that. I'm not sure but eventually I did get his cellphone number in my phone. I didn't use it though.
   I went to my dads again and this time he was going to drive me home, so one of the first times using his number was to ask when he would get here to drive me. It wasn't just him and me in the car though, his mom tagged along to. At this point I was kinda interesed in him. just a little.
   I guess things were kinda starting to fall apart back at my dads place, because Iris's was just parting alot next time I came over, jessica was running the roads and sneaking out with boys at night. My dad was just coming home, sleeping, and leaving. When I came over I would hang out with Iris and David. Me and David really never got anytime alone, so when the opportunity came up we took it.
   Jessica was a cheerleader and someone needed to pick her up from the game, Me and David voulonteered. The conversation wasn't just right out but it was obvious to the both of us that we did have kind of a thing for the other person. 
    Later that night or some night close to that one Is when we had the party.
Me, Iris, David, Jessica, and this guy named Randy were all parting at davids house. We we drinkin beer, smokin weed, and just getting fucked up. It started in the living room.
     I was in this recliner chair and he was on the couch next to me, his mom next to him. We were all so drunk and messed up. I leaned over and rested my hand on his arm rest and began talking to everybody, thinking no one would think anything of it. He began to softly stroke my wrist with the tip of his pinky also engaging in conversation as if to draw attention away from our touching.
     Hours passed that night and everyone decided to go out to the back where we all had started a little fire. I went to the back do and he followed after me. The door was jammed so as I jerked it open I leaned over in a provocative way and he lightly touched my hips as I leaned back up to go out of the door. He quietly mummered "Your going to put me in jail" As we walked out of the door.
      Instead of going straight to the fire, we sat on the small pourch by the back door. He sat beside me and I layed on my back. He grazed my stomach with his fingertips and then I sat up. At, that time, his mother was walking out of the back door. "There ya'll are!" she said excited that she had found us and we all three walked to the fire. We sat out there by the fire for awhile and then 1 by 1 me and david sliped away back to the house.
      I again sat on the recliner chair and again he sat on the couch beside me. We were watching JackAss 2. I looked over at him and he was looking at me. And as we were gazing in eachothers eyes we both leaned in and we began to kiss. We heard the door open and we stopped and suddenly got very interested in the show we were watching until the the closing door left us alone again. We began to kiss again and again the door came open and we stopped. Then after we were alone, he got up, took his shirt of and climbed on top of me. I quietly said "we are going to get caught" then he pressed his lips against mine and I was lost. 
      Then, the door opened, we heard his mothers voice say "What the Fuck" As he jumped up and then she walked out again. I don't remember the rest of that night, except walking with jessica back to the house and she asked if he was a good kisser and I told her I have no idea i was completly wasted. but deep down inside I knew, he was the most amazing thing i had ever laid eyes on. Everything about him was so perfect. every time we touched there was a rush of chills all throughout my body. It was simply amazing.
       The next morning his mom asked me about it. and I assured her that I was completly drunk and It was only a one time thing. David didn't say much that morning but once we were alone, he kissed me again and i knew he didn't regret it.
        After that all happened I went home and we began talking on the phone every night and we just got closer and closer. He would come over into my neighborhood and park down the road and I would sneek out in the middle of the night and go see him. we never had sex or anything, it was just us. I slowly began to fall in love with him.
         Summer came around and I would go to my dads and hang out with Iris and David. We were living the party life majorly. I was constantly getting wasted and high at 13 years old. Eventualy me and davids forbidden love was no longer a total secret. Iris found out about us and suprisingly she was totally supportive. She told me about how much david loved me and she was really happy that he was happy. She let me go and spend alone time with him at his house and everything. We were very happy. 
         I had to go to my aunts house for a week and babysit. While I was away my dad got fed up with the Lifestyle Iris was living, Tired of jessica doing what she was doing and he hated David as it was anyways so he left. He kicked david out of that house so he could live there and david moved back into the house with his mom. They basically just swapped houses.
         I went over there anyways and stayed a Iris's house. For a whole week, me and David were like a married couple. we shared the same bed, he went to work, i cleaned his clothes. He would come home and cook a real fancy dinner and it was just incredible. About 4 days into it, we made love. I don't regret it. I am very glad someone that I really truely loved got my virginity.
      well anyways, my dads air conditioning went out, so he came back to were I was staying. He got up early and checked and found out that i was not in the bed i was supposed to be in and he freaked.
      He didn't know exactly for sure, but he thought i was messing around with david. That was way to close for us so david brought me home that night. He cried his eyes out the whole way, he said he didn't want to loose me. I put my ring in his pocket that night and he wore it everyday after that, It was really sweet.
     I told my mom that my dad freaked out for no reason and made up some big story.Me and david quit talking for a little bit just to be save. but stupid us, we couldnt resist. he still came and saw me and everything. And the last time I saw him, he asked me to marry him and he bought me a ring and everyting. I said yes. Around this time. i had turned 14 and he was 26. we were together for about 6 months.
     One night I was messaging him on myspace when I heard a knock on the door. I heard the voice as it came into my living room and it was my Fathers voice. Me and david were maybe planning on seeing eachother that night. I quickly got off of myspace and went to see what my dad wanted on this unexpected visit.
     I tried to play it cool. But he got my mom and we all sat and he told us that he knew. (Iris had told him everything in a desperate attempt to get my dad back) I was in so much trouble. I had never seen my dad so upset. My dad was ready to sit at the place where me and david met and wait for him, and kill him. My mom grounded me from the computers and the phone. she sent me to get the phone out of my room. I had to protect david so i called him. He answered and all I told him was to run, hide and get out of texas. and i hung up.
      My dad took my ring and I was so grounded. After that I was so devestated. I began cutting myself, I was suicidal, and i prayed for death. I wished for death. I died inside. My mom got a cop to come to the house, I almosed got chained up,(cop said it was legal to be chained up as long as their was access to food and water)and sent to a mental hospital. After that I stayed dead inside.
      I had to go and make statements(were they ask you all the questions and video tape you) I had to make two of them. I even had to go and speak with the grand jury ( to make it more humiliating, one of them was my teacher) My mom placed a Restaining order against him, and In order to put him in prison I have to testify against him.
      while all of that was happening I turned or was close to turning 15.
      He was my first and only real true love. I have dated and looked and I have never found someone who has made me feel as truly happy as he did. 3 years later i have finally began to feel alive again.  everyone expects me to stand up there look him in the eyes and send him to prison for 20 plus years. I don't think I will be able to do it. I don't want to have to live with my self if i do. I cant live with the fact that I put my first true love in prison. My only true love in prison.
      today I looked on his myspace and even now, he still shows on that, that he still loves me too. I don't know what I am supposed to do.
  what would you do? would you cause your whole family pain and possibly have them hate you for not putting him away, or spare them and hate your self every day of your life.