<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<feed xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom">
 <title>MrJohn</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:d38edd95-4353-dd89-bd34-ce261323a049</id>
<updated>2009-06-11T12:45:54-04:00</updated>
<author><name>MrJohn</name>
</author>
 <entry>
<title>The Secret Hate</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/The-Secret-Hate-306305/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:86638861-3da2-26f2-ad63-4e13dbad21cd</id>
<updated>2009-06-01T16:55:33-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;I am not a very social person. I am a certified recluse. I have trouble making friends and trusting people. My doctor advised me to try some social networking sites. Sort of a way of easing me in to trusting people again. But I still feel a miserable failure that no one could love. Thank the Lord for Elizabeth, she keeps me sane. But it seems this may not have been the best place to find friends...or maybe i'm just being paranoid. Anyways, the doctor says I haven't opened up as much as I should and he says I should post a more honest and less vague blog...he also suggest I open up and share my opinions more freely...that I try to say more with more not more with less...and so on. Needless to say it was a long visit and I have made little improvement in the development of self. So I apologize for not being amazing yet. I am now at home frustrated and alone, drinking and thinking about the future.&nbsp;]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Cast the First</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Cast-the-First-304427/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:030197e6-a7fe-9c3d-11dc-659b6949c45b</id>
<updated>2009-05-29T17:36:53-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[<span style="font-size: x-large; ">&nbsp;..//.-/--//--/.-/-.././/---/..-.//-../..-/.../-/<br />
-.././-.-./.-/-.--//.-/-./-..//-.././.-/-/....//<br />
.-//-/---/..-/.-./../../-//-/.-./.-/.--./.--././-../<br />
../-.//../-.//-/../--/.//.-/-./-.-//.../-.-/../-.<br />
<br />
..-./../-.</span><br />
<br type="_moz" />]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Throw Up Bucket</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Throw-Up-Bucket-287195/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:1fb39f34-97ed-d194-2f7b-1f998585180c</id>
<updated>2009-05-07T15:18:21-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[knife eyes, splinter veins, glass and concrete chunks, rubber-bands and pencil shavings, the odor of traffic and swamp. Empty energy, black mass, dust and smoke and the rush of progress and death. Fear is fabrication, we know the truth and have always had access to it. It is universal and free to those whom sacrifice themselves to it. This is just a dot, always happening now and here. You can be here or you can be anywhere else. End the cycle, destroy the loop, eat feedback. Give us your brains.]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>In Comes the Rain</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/In-Comes-the-Rain-269977/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:527cda77-bd0f-5210-6f8a-28974f07b15b</id>
<updated>2009-04-13T14:58:17-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[<a href="/blog/photos/92410"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/939809534_1235427315.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/939809534_1235427315.jpg" /></a>&nbsp;<a href="/blog/photos/92411"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/827022881_1235427319.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/827022881_1235427319.jpg" /></a><a href="/blog/photos/92412"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/403311999_1235427327.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/403311999_1235427327.jpg" /></a><a href="/blog/photos/92420"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/989834839_1235428023.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/989834839_1235428023.jpg" /></a><a href="/blog/photos/92421"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/919867560_1235428028.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/919867560_1235428028.jpg" /></a><a href="/blog/photos/92422"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/895340661_1235428032.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/895340661_1235428032.jpg" /></a><a href="/blog/photos/92423"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/788128238_1235428413.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/788128238_1235428413.jpg" /></a><a href="/blog/photos/92424"><img mce_src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/855253525_1235428417.jpg" alt="" align="" border="0" height="375" width="500" hspace="" vspace="" src="/Media/Photos2/MrJohn/855253525_1235428417.jpg" /></a>]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Transmitimsnart</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Transmitimsnart-258348/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:fe081715-3685-a708-966e-cfaaf1e66d6b</id>
<updated>2009-03-25T14:57:16-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;Clouds of evil hover above every nation like-like smoke made of dinosaur bones,<br />
Criminal overlords hoard their jewels and spread their anger and their fear,<br />
Abrupt information transmission is lost in translation and rumor has it....<br />
You are a product of mind control, the problem and the solution.<br />
Know your self and be your self, else the future is inevitable.<br />
<br />
<br type="_moz" />]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Heaven Down</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Heaven-Down-255511/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:6b8cbe58-cdea-35db-0928-bf10e638a84e</id>
<updated>2009-03-21T11:04:46-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;Juxtoposition theatre tactics, vanishing spies...attention addicts, shave your face,<br />
play it safe. Great Selector pressing down on you from above, it feels like life but its love.<br />
Destructo Resiste in full effect, street ready. This is not a test, stay steady. It's heady.<br />
Have another complex condition created. Keep on keeping gone until it has abated.<br />
Once chosen and liberated, free to travel from time to time....<br />
Presently caught up in living sublime.]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Mild Resistance Overnight Express Spectacular </title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Mild-Resistance-Overnight-Express-Spectacular--234310/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:852e9e5f-5b11-0689-91cf-c857b184b526</id>
<updated>2009-02-16T15:47:42-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;I am afraid of everything I type,<br />
every word I say, every painting I create,<br />
every song i sing, everything.<br />
<br />
I am confused by arrogance,<br />
arroused by innocence ,<br />
hunted for my past lives,<br />
visiting from my next life,<br />
a ghost lost within<br />
a pale sheet of skin.<br />
<br />
I am defeated by my demons,<br />
determined not to try,<br />
yet unwilling to let go<br />
of the grande dreams,<br />
the glory and magnificence.<br />
<br />
I am holy, holy and worn,<br />
worn out with dirt and filth<br />
of earth and ages of decay,<br />
righteous and old,<br />
world without end, please change.<br />
<br />
I am programmed for the future]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>bio-feedback report 728-1-11</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/bio-feedback-report-728-1-11-197586/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:f41bb9c2-be31-9c36-f59d-04766af22d87</id>
<updated>2008-12-19T19:21:30-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: justify; ">&nbsp;Block ju<i>stify unity gross t</i><b><i>herapy into human befores afters human rememebr and but don't forget if and why. </i><u><i>Stop and start. Rep</i></u></b><u><i>eat. Think clearl</i></u><span style="font-size: x-large; "><u><i>y, clearly speak. No one else is ra<span style="font-size: large; ">mbling. </span>Butter </i></u></span><span style="font-size: medium; "><u><i>toast or Engli</i>sh muffin, h</u><span style="font-family: Verdana; "><u>unger human bef</u>ores aferts human remember and but don't forget and why. Loop, feedback loop, ech<u>o, rev<i>e</i></u><b><u><i>rb, delay, decay...when I die I want to be remembered as someone els</i></u></b></span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana; "><b><u><i>e. Someone human b</i></u></b></span><b><u><i>efo</i>res aftere</u>s human remember but don't foreget and why loop feedb</b><span style="font-size: x-small; "><b>ack loop. Stop and start. Repeat. let's</b> improve. let's improvise. avant-garde free jazz from hell and hum</span>an befores afrets human remerenesds bhsah jshahja jsakg hsdgaggsgel;ahw;;/</div>]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>snail poetry #3</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/snail-poetry-%233-193454/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:4afa83fd-d259-db18-960c-7a8e79d3f62f</id>
<updated>2008-12-13T19:01:56-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[<span style="font-size: xx-large; ">Nothing.</span>]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>snail poetry #2</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/snail-poetry-%232-192773/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:80be13d6-3497-accc-3eab-b44b1e03e25f</id>
<updated>2008-12-12T14:48:03-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[<span style="font-size: medium; ">&nbsp;For all of freedom's sake,<br />
Give more than you take,<br />
Build more than you break,<br />
Be more real than fake,<br />
For all of freedom's sake.</span>]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>snail poetry #1</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/snail-poetry-%231-191969/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:82103476-945d-8c0f-0340-d27ebb40693a</id>
<updated>2008-12-11T17:07:52-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[<span style="font-size: large; ">Whenever I <br />
wonder why <br />
we world-bound bodies <br />
buried beneath <br />
the thoughts that thinkers think think,<br />
I ingite inside <br />
another wrinkle on the brain.<br />
</span><br type="_moz" />]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>DESTRO !#</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/DESTRO-%21%23-185434/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:def1d5c1-f3b3-c768-47b8-b38b04493109</id>
<updated>2008-11-29T23:14:10-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;Am I mad or am I crazy,<br />
&nbsp;Am I mad or am I angry,<br />
&nbsp;Do you love me, do you hate me,<br />
&nbsp;Am I crazy, lazy, good-for-nothing?<br />
&nbsp;Nothing? No-one? Nobody?<br />
&nbsp;No. I know. I'm not.<br />
&nbsp;I am.<br />
<br type="_moz" />]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Blessed are the Peacemakers</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Blessed-are-the-Peacemakers-179334/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:13f8c8df-b5b4-fc5b-4a4c-5879e3c9e202</id>
<updated>2008-11-20T09:57:26-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;Ghosts of thoughts, invisible ideas, clouds of smoke lazing about. <br />
&nbsp;Spiralling into sunlight, vanishing, forgotten forever, forbidden.<br />
&nbsp;This moment in time is all moments in time, this is a singular point.<br />
&nbsp;I am everyone all at once and I know what we are thinking.<br />
&nbsp;Science is the new magic, same as the old magic.<br />
&nbsp;We are stuck in loop, this is feedback howling.<br />
&nbsp;Hear the frenzy like the cockroaches fleeing from the light,<br />
&nbsp;That's us now at the top of the arch.<br />
&nbsp;We have seen the variations of ourselves,<br />
&nbsp;Hopeless, the entire lot.&nbsp;<br />
&nbsp;Stuck on a terribly amusing carnival ride,<br />
&nbsp;Sick but unable to get off, we keep hurling on one another.<br />
&nbsp;Retch, your frustration trickles down.<br />
&nbsp;But you won't always be on top.<br />
&nbsp;The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.<br />
&nbsp;<br />
&nbsp;]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Road to nowhere...</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Road-to-nowhere...-177040/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:4f798e5d-517c-7441-2321-ead7bdf78787</id>
<updated>2008-11-15T18:34:07-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;So I was tryng to write a story for the challenge, maybe I was trying to hard.&nbsp;<br />
<br />
I've been discouraged lately...defeated. I was going to compare life to a road and say mine is going nowhere. I have always dreampt big. I have always known I was great. But lately, I've started to doubt it. I just want to feel like I'm serving some kind of purpose, like I'm doing something real. I've had a lot of great jobs and ventures, but now I have my eye on a radio dj career. Another grande delusion. I was turned down for the job and ignored when I offered to help out sans payment just for the experience. Maybe I take myself too seriously; but now I feel like a joke. I just want to make progress. I just want to be one step closer to a career I can really sink my teeth into. But I'm going nowhere.]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>best expressed compressed contest</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/best-expressed-compressed-contest-173767/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:663da6b1-087b-b17c-bac1-be64d775d62c</id>
<updated>2008-11-08T15:59:12-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[<b>Police say boy not strong swimmer.</b><br />
Friends stood by as young boy gasped for air.<br />
&quot;We thought he was joking.&quot; One said.<br />
The accident happened Saturday morning<br />
in the decorative pond <br />
just outside a residential neighborhood.<br />
&quot;We were just trying to scare the geese&quot; <br />
Another boy told police.<br />
The parents were contacted&nbsp;by telephone <br />
after the body&nbsp;resurfaced.<br />
&quot;He was not a strong swimmer&quot;<br />
the parents said.<br />
<br type="_moz" />]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>A fifth of November</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/A-fifth-of-November-172569/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:3036c5be-6413-03a8-417b-3f84aad12023</id>
<updated>2008-11-05T18:40:14-05:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[I hear airplanes and helicoptes, trains and automobiles, electric hum, glass bottles smashing against eachother...its dusk and its quieting down, darkening up. I am alone now and I sit up straight and try to type, but its been a while since I wrote what I was thinking. I have trouble saying what I'm thinking. Letting my mind out. I spent some time in my mind and I thought about the endless possibilities for the futures. I want to feel secure and sure, calm and collected, complete and fulfilled. I want to make people listen. I want to be heard, but I don't want to say anything...<br />
<br />
How do I bring the future to me? How do I make it fold to the whim? How do I do more than imagine the grande? How do I escape the illusion?]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>blanks control</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/blanks-control-168022/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:6f41c337-c6c9-5cf1-ee49-77871ebd8fdd</id>
<updated>2008-10-25T17:29:10-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;I used to write often. I used to write on everything. My hand, my napking, my leg, my Bible, my bathroom mirror, on papers strewn across my studo floor...i exhaled ink. &nbsp;Was I more prolific then, or just more practiced? It seems hard sometimes thinking of new ways to say something, or new ways to say nothing. I have a lot not to say. So let me not say it.&nbsp;<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
Fill in the blanks.<br />
I am ______ the ________ for________who_______.<br />
<br />
If people judge you by the words you use, or don't use, do they know you? Are the words you type a gateway to your soul? Are we any closer to understanding you, the human being? Is there a connection from my words to your heart? Does anyone really understand what you say? Does anyone else say it the same way?<br />
<br />
Fill in the blanks.<br />
Don't _________ on __________ if ___________ is__________ .]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Dear Employer:</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Dear-Employer%3A-159183/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:2c92c2ec-119f-0b01-04ff-8f8d9a4370e8</id>
<updated>2008-10-04T14:46:55-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[Death to the idle rich. Death to the top one percent. Death to humans. Death to the systems, Death to hypocrisy. Death to self.<br />
<br />
Go and tell death I come!<br />
<br />
I have seen the fire and felt the pang of longing. I have lived too long in this world full of confusion and ignorance. I wonder about thunder and complain about rain, but the storm is coming. And with a vengance.]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Bloggity blog blog blog</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/Bloggity-blog-blog-blog-155006/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:1a8fab03-f1fa-2e3b-0d2c-38616c3d0baf</id>
<updated>2008-09-24T12:05:51-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;Well I'm on my belly crawling toward the edge of something. &nbsp;I can't always understand what I'm saying. There's no one around for miles, theses drugs are making me crazy, it's so quiet and I'm always awake. &nbsp;I hear thunder but it never rains. It's so hot and I can't sleep. And there's the rattler. ANd he's staring back at me daring me to move. &nbsp;I feel twisted. Forced to blood. Apricot. Life on yes and no for them. They the. No and. If yes. Decode this hide the face. Better odd fed. Treeping the trailer. Iced tea. Mr John, Charlie Browm,monistakes,jaherd.]]></summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>sorry about my last blog</title>
<link href="http://www.thoughts.com/MrJohn/blog/sorry-about-my-last-blog-153473/" ></link>
<id>urn:uuid:cbe0c91d-e8c8-7753-3679-9eaeff87203f</id>
<updated>2008-09-20T15:19:36-04:00</updated>
<summary type="html" ><![CDATA[&nbsp;To tell you the truth, I'm not so good at sharing my feelings. My psychiatrist told me to join this site and blog and post on the forums because he thinks it'll help me open up. But I don't really want to open up. I don't really trust anyone. I didn't mean to sound harsh in my last blog and in subsequent comments it's just I'm not too good at relating with people. I don't want to know people or befirend them. They'll all just die anyways. So yeah. I'm still not too comfortable with this blogging thing but the doc hassled me today about editing/deleting my first blog. He says it shows how insecure I am with saying what I'm thinking. I just think it all sounds dumb. I don't want to complain. I don't know. I think I'd better stop here this week. Do you think I said enough?<br type="_moz" />]]></summary>
</entry>
</feed>