I love you crazy and sane - puck

I love you back Puck :) Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Been there it takes time,Also once hurt dont know if you ever let your guard down 90% you just get on with life and hope the right person comes along. My right person came along but i wasn,t ready and she tried to understand but that old guard stayed up.

Yes, that guard is part of it. I want to just be...not think so much. Feel and go with the flow. I will try for that. I don't want to miss opportunities. Life is too short.

I think we all as humans feel this way, but maybe some more so. I am sorry to say that I am one who could never get rid of that monster really, but I hope that you find someone who will see your value and give it in return. HUGS:)

Thanks Lana. I hope it is a combination too. I really want to beat it myself but it would be nice to have others support.

I can so relate to this today. Let me knwo if you figure out how to get off the rollercoaster...

I will probably blog about it if I do...maybe a ways down the road though. I can't imagine overnight that all will be well. It is a journey and we are only aware of our limitations when we are in non equilibrium states. Grrr...I think I might need to add a bit of anger to the craziness to wipe it out. LOL.

It's taken me for a wild ride at time as as well. Chocolate and wine(and surprisingly, yoga!) help :)
and if you need to talk, Im here xo
Korean bbq?

Yes, we need to book something soon. I am craving another get together soon in Toronto.

Stick your chest out, head back, walk tall - you have every right to feel confident so GO GIRL!

Thanks E, I am trying to do that. Easier said than done. I am thinking all those positive things and hope for the best. May need some support here more days than not.

Depends what you are being insecure/worried about...
if it is about things that make you you, like looks or smarts or personality...
well any guy will like you or not based on those so if they don't they are not worth it at all as it would not work out in the long run anyway, so why worry?

BUT if you are talking about simply feeling insure about being rejected in and of itself then all I can say is that to love is to open yourself up to being hurt because if you do not trust enough to open your arms wide enough that you could never get them back fast enough to protect yorself then you are not trusting enough to let in anyone worth letting in...

either way, as the song says, it's all in the game called love

WK that was beautiful. I really agree with you on the trust enough and opening your arms wide. I do want to do that. I have always done that and well, it is hard to live in that state. I am game though and I guess that is what counts. If it hurts me, then I will face it down the road.

I am one to think that emotions are friends communicating something important. Could it be that your wiser self is trying to tell you something? I am of the mind that listening patiently to maybe why the emotions are there would clear the noise. Ignoring them, or squishing them down makes them rage more.

I do agree with that analysis too. I just find I have had a pattern with lack of control and insecurities. I don't know how to deal with it always. The reaction to those feelings is to control my environment, relationships even more. I am trying to move away from that crutch and allow others freedom to be themselves even if it is not what I want. I now have to find a way to express my wants at the same time. Greunie it is all very confusing. I can't have someone else make me feel better about these feelings. I have to be okay with myself...it is a struggle to be sure.

Moxi, It sounds like you have been a real tailspin. I have been in that situation at times, not knowing what to do, or even if it would be wise to do ANYTHING. It is hard, just getting through life, and when any relationship goes awry (permanently or temporary), it is hard to deal with. I also know that my own sanity (such as it is) is mine today, because I had many friends, a wonderful husband, and wonderful back-up, plus a strong faith in God. But, it hasn't been easy. I guess what I am saying is that once you get through the pain, you will find that you have learned a lot, as well. Maybe only how to survive, but how wonderful is that when a while back you were afraid you wouldn't (couldn't) survive.

You know, dear, anytime you want to e-mail, I am there, and I am happy to listen, and will do my best to be of help. You take care of you, and I will keep on reading. See ya in a bit on another comment space.

More hugs ------------------------------------------------------- ----- Shea

Shea, That is so very sweet of you. I am in a better place and in fact a good place for the last while. There are things that come out though when you start new relationships that cause confusion and make you evaluate yourself and things around you. I guess it isn't a bad thing. Sometimes that unknown feeling is the problem. I need to learn to accept it a bit more and not run from it and see what it is actually trying to tell me about my life.