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| People That Have the Following... |
... should be skinned alive and shot. What could I be talking about this time? I think it's obvious. Tattoos. Yup, I have decided to bitch about people with tattoos this time. Not all tattoos, just the following:
Someone's name-
You are not going to love someone forever. So, knowing that love does not last forever (especially in this day and age) do you really want a reminder of someone who used to mean something to you? I sure as hell wouldn't. I don't care how much you care about your significant other right now, you're not going to care that much about them later on down the road. Trust me, you're not going to watch a permanent reminder under your skin for the rest of your life of that asshole or bitch you were once in love with. Children are no exception. You've had your first child and want the kid's name on you, not knowing that kid may not want you to have its name on you. You don't know if that kid's going to hate you when it gets older. Why waste money when you don't know how the little shit's going to turn out?
Your name-
This is just stupid beyond words. Why in the fuck did you get your name tattooed on yourself? Is it some kind of I.D. in case you lose your license? In case you forget everyone else's name you'll still have your own because it's tattooed on you. Thank God for that, huh? Are you that in love with your name that you need it etched into your skin?
Religious-
Why do you need to cover yourself in religious symbols to prove how much you love whatever god you choose to use as your crutch? Shouldn't your actions alone be enough to show your devotion to the gospel you choose to preach? Are you so insecure and worried about whether or not your god is going to love you that you need a tattoo to prove to him/her how devout you are? I have some bad news for you: All gods hate tattoos and they hate you for getting them.
Memorial-
You need a tattoo to remind you of a dead relative? They obviously didn't mean that much to you if they only cross your mind whenever you look at your tattoo. You always see that shit on those stupid tattoo shows, "Now everytime I look at this tattoo I'll be reminded of how much he/she meant to me." I'd be offended if it took a tattoo to get you to remember me. You're a horrible friend/family member.
Phoenix-
Apparently everyone has "risen from the ashes" somehow. You weren't reborn. You're the same old person you've always been and always will be. People don't change and you're no exception. You overcame some obstacle in your life... big deal. Who hasn't? We all go through shit every now and then and overcome it, doesn't mean we all need to get the same tattoo to symbolize that. Be original. If you love it so much I say follow suit and burn in a fire like your beloved mythical bird. Ten bucks says you don't come out though.
Dragons-
Unless you slayed one or it's a part of your culture, dragons do not belong on your skin. You may think it makes you look tough, but you're still a pussy and everytime I see that tattoo on you I will laugh because I am thinking "Dragon Tales" which is scarier than the tattoo you have on you, which is pathetic.
Angels-
Angels are messengers of God. Unless your tattoo has some message to help save mankind it serves neither us, nor you any purpose.
Wings-
Wings are, in many legends, given to people who have proven their worth. You, have not proven shit to me or anyone else, aside from the fact that you're a tool and a dipshit. Why does every emo dipshit I've met want a tattoo of wings?
Skulls-
They're just overrated. I've actually had a tattoo artist say he refuses to tattoo skulls because of how trendy they've become and how moronic the people are who want skulls to prove their manliness.
Pentagrams, Baphomets, Satanic/Occult-
Well, aren't you a scary little thing? These will surely show your devotion to the dark side and keep people in constant fear of you. Didn't you get the memo? That whole Satanic panic went out with the 90s. You missed that bandwagon. Now you're just an out-of-date poser. Don't worry, I'm sure some will still find you terrifying... really... they will... trust me. You cute Satan worshipping cock sucker, you.
Tribal-
Please inform me to which tribe you belong, exactly. Tribal tattoos do not make you look like a bad ass. Really. They don't. I've seen women with them and if women get them then their "hardcore" rating drops tremendously. The only way a tribal tattoo is bad ass is if it is done in true tribal style with a tribesman hammering the ink into your skin with those bone needles they use. Other than that tribal tattoos are for pussies who try to appear intimidating.
Chinese/Japanese symbols-
You're not Chinese or Japanese and you never will be. There is no reason for you to get a tattoo in a language you do not speak. "It means wisdom." Do you know that for a fact or did you just see a symbol on the wall with "wisdom" written under it? If I owned a tattoo shop I'd put those symbols up there with misleading words too. "It's the Chinese symbol for beauty!" I would hear some giddy little eighteen-year-old dipshit squeel with excitement over her first tattoo, not knowing the symbol she just got actually means "whore." Haha! Take that, bitch!
Pin-up models-
Why do you want a tattoo of a better looking woman on you? What is the logic behind getting a tattoo of a pin-up model? "Because they're beautiful." So, you're getting a tattoo of what society deems as "beautiful" to make those that weren't blessed with looks feel bad? You're an asshole and inconsiderate. Besides, if you're a girl and get one it only means you're a dyke. If you're a guy and get one then you don't get laid and that's the closest a woman is ever going to come to rubbing against you.
Nautical star-
Did you know these symbolize fame? You're not famous so why in the fuck do you have a nautical star? You wanted to be unique and express yourself? All your other "unique" emo moronic friends have the same tattoo. Way to go against the grain you little non-conformist. Damn the man!
Patriotic-
You're not patriotic because you decided to get an American flag or the bald eagle under your skin. If you want to be a patriot then go fight in a war somewhere. Your country wants you fighting for it, not plastering it all over your skin.
Confederate flag-
The South lost. Get over it. The South is not going to rise again. It never rose from anything in the first place. So, go ahead and show off how much of a moronic, inbred, fucktard hillbilly you are, just don't continue to bitch about the rest of America thinking Southerners are morons.
Hearts-
You already have one inside you, why in the hell do you want one on you? At least the one that's inside you serves a purpose. Don't give me that whole "it's a symbol of love" shit either. The brain controls all that bullshit. So, if you want to show your love for someone or something then get "I (brain) so and so." Now that would be bad ass!
Bands-
If you want to show support for your favorite band why don't you... I don't know... buy an album? Go to a concert? Give your money to your band if you love them so much and not to a tattoo artist. How is getting a tattoo of your favorite band putting money in said band's pocket and supporting them? It's not. Besides, they're just going to sell out in a few years anyway and you're going to end up hating them (being the moron you are and not realizing as soon as they got a record deal they sold out.)
Peace symbols-
You're too young to be a hippie. Why in God's name would you want to be a hippie in the first place? They never changed anything. As Eric Cartman from South Park said, "They want to change the world but all they do it smoke pot and smell bad." This whole idea of peace is stupid and you're not helping the cause by getting ridiculous symbols all over your body.
Superman logo-
This is just one of those stupid male ego things. You don't come close to any superhero and simply getting one's logo on you doesn't make you look bad ass, it just makes you look like a pathetic fan boy.
Overall tattoos are stupid in the first place. I hate when people want to get a tattoo that "means something" to them. Fuck that. Just get one because you want one, it doesn't have to have meaning or anything. Know how many of mine I got just because I thought they were awesome and I wanted them? All of them! I've gotten asked before, "How are you going to feel about those when you're fifty?" I'll tell you what, when I am fifty I'll let you know. Hell, but the way I am living I'll be lucky to see thirty.
Realizing he just attacked a few of his own tattoos with this post,
Another Dead Hero
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