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| Answers to Your Hard-Hitting Questions |
I have taken it upon myself to go ahead and answer your hard-hitting questions that so many of you have asked me since I have been a member at Thoughts. Just my little way of giving back to the community.
Q: Do you believe in God?
A: I am God.
Q: What do you think about (insert group of dipshits here)?
A: Are they me? No? Then they're pathetic and worthless. Anyone who doesn't want to be like me doesn't deserve to live.
Q: Doesn't that go against your "be yourself" philosophy?
A: When I say "be yourself" I meant be more like me. I am the only person you should be admiring.
Q: Why do you hate people?
A: A better question would be, "Why don't you hate people?" I see nothing special about the human race. It's like George Carlin said, "If we're alone in the universe then the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
Q: Don't you think hate is just a waste of time?
A: I still get the shit done I need to get done. How exactly am I wasting my time? Don't you think you've wasted your time by telling me bullshit I never listen to in the first place and pissing and moaning about what I type?
Q: I think you are (insert any number of insults here)!
A: And I think you're wrong for the simple fact that you're a woman, black, white, Asian, pretty much anyone but me.
Q: Hey! I'm 13 and I...
A: *ignored* Anyone who is below the age of 19 doesn't have the right to have an opinion.
Q: I have an idea for a blog you should write.
A: I'll make sure to ignore it.
Q: You're an asshole!
A: The sky's blue! Oh, shit... sorry. I thought we were playing "State the Obvious."
Q: Why didn't your parents raise you better?
A: Why didn't yours decide to abort you and just get it over with from the start?
Q: YOUR [SIC] RACIST!!!!!!!!
A: Right, even though I've attacked my own race as well.
Q: What's wrong with you?!
A: Nothing's wrong with me. It's everyone else that has problems. What is their problem? Stupidity. It can be cured by euthanasia or walking across a busy interstate.
Q: You really shouldn't make fun of people with depression, people who cut, etc. It really hurts their feelings.
A: So?
Q: Why should we even read your blog?
A: I give important life lessons that should be applied immediately. Don't be a dumbfuck, you're not as special as you think, you're always going to be wrong/unhappy, life doesn't get better... just a few of my lectures. Plus, my blog is the best one on this site.
Q: OMG! UR SO MEN! HOW CAN U RITE THESE THINGS?!!?!?!
A: God damnit, stop raping the English language if you wish to insult me or leave me a comment. By typing like a moron, you're giving me full permission to mock you and make you feel bad about yourself.
Q: I don't care what you think!
A: Not a question, and you obviously do or you wouldn't have bothered me in the first place. Go suck a tailpipe.
Q: You need help!/ You need therapy!
A: You need to drink rat poison. Spoke with my therapist too. He says the solution to your problem is to end it all.
Q: Why are you so immature?
A: As opposed to the person who is in their 30s, 40s, or 50s who is trying to argue with a 22 year old over the internet.
Q: Why did you make fun of my religion? It really hurt me that you insult my beliefs.
A: I'm sorry. I'm not sorry I offended you, I'm just sorry you're religious.
Q: What was your childhood like?
A: I knew I was destined for greatness as soon as I came out of the womb.
Q: How can you hate children?!
A: They're loud, annoying, worthless. Suppose you could leave your child with a pedophile though. Better a pedophile that absolutely loves children rather than someone like me who hates them, right?
Q: What makes you happy?
A: Waking up everyday and knowing in my heart, mind, and soul that I am so much fucking better than everyone else.
Q: I bet you don't get laid.
A: I hate sex. I can achieve the same goal from jacking off in my room. Great thing about masturbation is not having someone pissing and moaning about wanting to cuddle and asking me what I'm thinking.
Q: Are you a virgin?
A: No, had sex once and hated it. My hatred of women gets in the way of my wanting to fuck them.
Q: Are you gay?
A: No, I am not sexually attracted to men or women. I love myself way too damned much. So, looks like you'll have to come up with more thought out and wittier insults than "UR GAY!" I know it'll be hard, but I have faith in you... ok, I'm lying.
Q: Who do you admire?
A: Friedrich Nietzsche, Immanuel Kant, Bill Hicks, George Carlin, H.L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, William Shakespeare, Gregory House, Marilyn Manson, Maynard James Keenan, Timothy Leary, Ayn Rand, Charles Bukowski, Tom Waits, Arthur Schopenhauer... but most of all, the one person I admire more than anyone... yours truly.
Q: Why are you such a sad, sad person?
A: Do you know who I am?! I'm smarter than everyone, wittier than everyone, funnier than everyone, I look better than everyone. How can someone who is the embodiment of perfection be sad? Fucking chode.
Q: You're going to die miserable.
A: Again, why do people assume I am miserable? I am not depressed. Just like you bitch that I know nothing about (insert list of dumb fucks I've insulted here), you know nothing about me. I know I am better than every-fucking-body. How could I possibly be miserable?
Continue submitting your questions and comments and I'll continue to make you look like the idiot you are,
Another Dead Hero
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