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Not Fair

The other day he told me "This is an extreme early warning, but I'm going on vacation with my brothers and this is after the baby is a year old and after we go on our vacation." I was like "That is not fair I want to come too." He said no this is a vacation I had planned with my brothers before you. All these thoughts started flooding my mind. Most came from insecurity and I voiced these thoughts out to him but in a wrong way. He got offended with my thoughts.

Fighting off my insecurity is hard. What I know is that he loves me. His reality is here at home with me and the baby. If he wants to go on a vacation with just his brothers, I have to accept it. I have to get rid of these thoughts of him going there to flirt and cheat with girls. I know him better than that. I know that he is not like other guys. That he is not weak like that. He is going on vacation with his brothers. To enjoy and spend time with his brothers. I know girls will be there. Maybe even flirting with him or dancing with him, but not sleeping with him. He is better than that. He is proud of who he is, who we are, and has much more class.

If it were ever ever to happen that he cheated on me it would be his loss. I don't deserve to be cheated on or lied to. What comes around goes around. Karma. One of my ex's cheated on me with their baby's mom. I left him right when I found out. And to this day he asks about me and wants to go to my wedding and see pictures of me and him and our baby.

But I have to stay strong cuz I know my man is strong. My friends, these girls who say all men cheat. What happened to the girls proud to say they know their man loves them. I'm writing all this down to separate what is real and what my stupid insecurity tells me. I'm not going to listen to people who tell me that he's a guy and that all men cheat. I still have my guard up though. I'm not stupid. Like I said anyone who cheats or lies to me, even him, it would be their loss.

I have to tell him all this. It's better that when he goes and if he goes anywhere that we are both at peace.

It's not fair that he gets to go on vacation so we have to make it fair. I think he should send me on vacation and if it's at the same time he goes then he should take care of the baby's babysitter.