Why is everything such a popularity contest ?

Well, my simple answer is:
It's just a way to fill up that empty hole. For some reason, most people are not okay with being their very own friend.
Why, I do it all the time. I even talk to myself when i'm alone. No, not as if I were two people, but to keep myself busy. I can hate myself while being so very narsissitic. I can trust myself but I can't be so very untrustworthy to myself as well.
All the qualities of other people all in one. Convenient too.

Now that I think about what Hope has been asking all this time, "Why do people look for significant others ?", I no longer have an answer.
My significant other tends to be suffocating. And usually serious relationships result in kids. I think kids are cute. To look at. But they're so hard to handle and they are buckets of disease. If they stayed at the age where they don't talk or cry much while being cute, that'd be okay.
One thing I hate most about kids is their parents. I find myself walking through the store or mall and really hating these rugrats running around the damn place.
Though, the nice, sweet, non - talkative kids I don't mind. Until they start running around as if they were given five monsters.

Know what else ?
If someone is going to sit there talking about committing suicide, why the fuck do you not go do it ?
Oh, what is that ? You just want attention ?
Right back to the popularity contest.
If it takes puking yourself to death or advertising your cutting scars on myspace, then that is surely what they'll do.
To me, it's the same as empty threats.
Why advocate a fight, then back out because you don't have the balls ?
No, I don't approve of fights.
But I do not approve of empty threats or "talk". It's cowardly.
Stupid humans.


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Sometimes the thought runs across my mind.
Which thought you ask ?
"Gee, Shelby, you're a horrible person ..."
Now see ... That's the good part of me, the one that wants to save the world.
But I guess if I really wanted to find one thing out about myself, it'd be to find out if i'm horrible or not.
Though, I'm trying so hard not to care. Who cares if no one else likes what I say or think ? I'm not fuckin' Hitler ... Geez.
I don't believe in any higher power, just never had the reason to believe there ever was or will be. But I do not feel bad for that. Nope.
I kinda feel bad that I won't give to a children's hospital fundraiser and feel NOTHING.
Now, does that make me a bad human being ?
"Why would you even want to be a GOOD human being ?"
Being a good human being usually constitutes being walked all over, so why worry  ?
Who really knows.

----

Oh my, I just keep writing.
Oh well.

I wonder how many time i've started something and have never finished it. This keeps on happening with my art.
Why yes, I draw. I also make music.
But that's not the point.
I miss being able to finish something, but I also see why I don't finish anything. It's becae I have no inspiration whatsoever. I just want to make something that looks good, and that's it.
I've never gotten into art because it's "freedom". It's not what I see. In fact, i'm very blind, metaphorically speaking.
Hopefully I can finish something soon.

And here's my question:

What is a good human being to you ? What is a bad human being ?

Goodbye.