I'm just sitting in my room just doing so much thinking about things and i'm totally not sure on how to handle all the problems that i have right now. I'm always trying to help other people out and i can't find the time to help myself out and i'm kind of mess up if you know what i'm talking about and everything. I'm tired of crying and i just want my own life to come back and not have to worry about every little damn thing that happen in my life and i just don't know what to do anymore so i'm trying to find people who are willing to help me and let me talk to them about my problems and they are going to help me figured out my dark side and everything that comes with it and everything if you know what i'm talking about. I just don't want to live this life anymore and i can't handle it. And i know it's has to do with all the people that has hurt me in the past and it's all coming up and out and everything. I'm just trying to leave my own life and that is the fact.

I'm not sure if i should just let the past do it's thing and they i'll be all healed and back together again but i'm not sure anymore. I'm just want to get on with my life and not have to keep on watching my back all the fucking time because i know that people want to beat the shit out of me and that is not going to happen. I'm not sure on how i'm going to feel if i have to go and say what is on my mind and everything and i can't help the fact that things are going to have to go there own way and everything i'm just tired of feeling like this all the fucking game and i just want to be happy again if you know what i'm talking about. I'm not going to play people fucking games anymore and i can't just sit around and watch people fucking hurt me all the fuckign time and everything it's totally wrong.

Amanda Peck, You are the reason why i want to fucking hurt you're ass because all you fucking do and sit there and talk shit about people and then you lie and say that you never done that well bitch you have and now you are going to pay for the shit that has happen beause i know a few people who would love to kick you're nasty ass back to where every it came from and that is no lie you fucking bitch slut ass. I'm done with all you're fucking lies and you can burn in hell for all i care and trust me for all the lies that you have fucking told me and a few people that you are going to hell and that you are going to lay there a fucking burn bitch burn because we all are going to laugh are ass off and shit. I'm hoping that you lose all you're fucking friends because i'm going to totally fucking laugh more and more and i'm not going to fucking play you're games anymore bitch.

James hill, You totally fucking made a fool out of me and i'm not sure if i can handle that game anymore and i know that you fucking think that i'm going to forgive you well you totally wrong because i think you need to find you're self again and just leave me alone because i'm done with you're fucking bull shit to and i'm not going to play anymore games from anyone and i'm totally not going to have this anymore. I mean you lied to me and may me believe that you was in love with me and everything and well you was not inlove with me and i'm totally not going to back down from anything because i have a right to be who i want to be and i'm not going to let people bring me down anymore. I mean i just don't know what i'm going to do but i know that i'm me and that is all i have to say.

Chuck, You are the a fucking asshole and i'm totally glad that i'm not with you're ass anymore and i have all the fucking freedom i want and i don't have to worry about how you fucking played me for a fool and lied to me and did you're fucking disappearing act on me and that not going to work this time because i'm totally fucking done with that and i'm not ever going to come back to you do you can stop leaving me fucking messages on yahoo messanger and everything. I was never inlove with you and you totally took my heart and stab it so many times and i'm not going to deal with that shit anymore and i'm hoping that you also burn in hell and lay in you're lies that you also told me and i'm not going to play it anymore i'm done hearing it and i'm not going to ever forgive you for the things that you have pulled with me and i'm so fucking over you're dumb ass and i'm happy where my life has gone and i'm totally fucking done with you and everything.

I have listed three people that hurt me in the back years and i have also list the reason why they have hurt me and i'm going to put them to rest right now because i'm never going to forgive them and all the lies that they have told me and they are going to go to hell and burn there because i'm never going to feel the same as i did when i was with them and i'm totally not sure on if i ever wanted to be friends with them again nope i don't. I can make new friends whever i please and that is something that i'm going to memory for the rest of my life and that means a lot to me when i have true friends and stuff. I know that my life is screw up but i have to make things work for myself and that is what i'm trying to do if you all understand what i'm doing in my life and everything.

Actually, I've been talking to this guy name willie and he a big sweetheart and i'm really hoping that things do work out with him and him. We have been talking on myspace for a few months now and he thinks that my eyes are very pretty and i love that if you know what i'm talking about and everything. I really think that he is awwesome and i'm just hoping that he sees me as more and everything. I'm not going to hold that against anyone because i'm not that kind of person and i know what i want in life and that is a very good thing and i just have to keep on strong and let things go on as they are.

I really wish that i could of hang out with my cousin Tony and His friend Jeremy because i have not seen them in a few weeks and i'm just wondering when they are going to come over and shit and i miss my cousin tony so much that i just hope that he is doing alright and everything. I love my cousin tony to death and i'm always going to be on his side and i'm not happy about all the shit that is going on with him right now. I really wish that people would just fucking leave him alone and let him leave his own life and that is all i'm really fucking asking from you all and everything. For all who don't know my cousin he lost his best friend last year and i know that he is hurting and i'm going to be there to help him deal with this pain and everything and i'm just so happy to have him in my life.

Well, Everyone I'm going to end this for the night, I'll keep you all updated on how things are going with me and my life, So pace out everyone bye for now.