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Well, I've just got done playing a game called turbo pizza and i really love the game it keeps me busy why i'm bored and everything. I love playing computer games on the computer when i just don't feel like going online and everything. I'm just sitting in my room downloading more games that i can play online and everything because it's fun and everything. I'm just trying to wast time until my show comes on and everything. I love playing my computer games because it gives me something to do when i'm feeling like i just don't want to talk to anyone you know.
I'm just feeling like people don't understand my emotions right now and it's kinda driving me nuts but it's alright through. I just know that things are turning out to be something that i can't control anymore and i'm tried of feeling like i'm worthless and that i can't stand to something when i know that i can and my ex boyfriend chuck i'm so holding a fucking grudge over because he mentally hurt me and i'm still thinking about it and everything. You know i thought that i had all my thoughts out and i also wanted to get things out of my head because i need the strength to move on with my life and know that things are going to be alright but once again i'm back stuck in the past and it's hell if you ask me and everything.
I don't have any confessions and i don't have anything to hide because i'm just telling the truth about how i feel and how much all this is bugging me and i'm just tired of it basically. All the random thoughts that i got going through my head are from my past relationships and i'm ranting about all of it and i'm just tried of the fucking bull shit games that are going on in my world because i can't handle this anymore. I really wish my ex boyfriend chuck would die off the face of the earth and just trust me and leave me alone because i don't want nothing to do with him anymore or never have if you ask me and everything.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm totally done with all this betrayed and all the talking shit about people because this is not me and if it continues i'll have to say something i might now want to say or regret because i'm sure you all know that when i hold a grudge on someone that i'm going to make sure it fucking sticks you know what i mean. I'm not the kind of girl you think you can just push around and shit i'm not like that and i'm totally not going to let people tell me different because i'm just me and if you don't like it then fuck off that is all i have to say about all the bull shit drama that you all fucking start with me and it's totally over with.
I really don't have to explain anything to anybody who is not my friend. Because i'm tried of my heart getting so broken inside and it's tearing it up and i'm not sure if i can handle all the fucking stress that is going on and if i could i would just do what i have to do and go and disappear because i feel like it's the best thing if you ask me and everything. I mean i get so frustrated about a lot of things and it's frighten me a lot and i'm trying to figure out a lot of shit and i'm just trying so fucking hard that it's not working for me and everything. I don't want to change who i am but sometimes i guess i have to just to find out what i'm really like in real person if you know what i mean and everything. I just don't feel like things are going to be alright.
Well I'm going to end this here, But i promised t write more later on, So i'll keep you all updated on how things are going with me. So bye for now.
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