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what's going on with me

Well, Today i have been hanging out in my room today because it's been nothing but a boring day and it's kinda sucks if you know what i mean. I'm just watching a movie on life time and i'm also hanging out on the computer because once again i'm bored and i'm also thinking about play a few hands are cards online i'm thinking about it i'm not saying i'm going to do it or anything like that if you know what i'm talking about. I just don't know why this day is doing boring.

I just don't know why people have to always accusing people of doing shit they don't do because it's fucking wrong if you ask me i have lean my lesson on that because i do it once in a while but mostly i don't anymore because of my age and how i act if you know what i mean. I just don't know why people have to be so mean to each other and everything i'm totally don't understand that if you ask me anything about it and everything. I just feel like it's needs to stop and people need to learn how to get along with people and just lean how to have fun with each other.

I really can't hold a grudge on people that i don't know but if they pissed me off in any way shape of form then i can and i won't regret anything. I just don't like people messing with me and think they are going to totally get away with it because then you're going to have to pay for what you have done to me because i'm sure you know what i'm talking about and everything. I have my own random thoughts about things that goes on in this world but in my world you have to earn my trust to be my friend if you try to pissed me off or anything like that.

I really don't like it when my friends pissed me off because then i'm totally control on what happens because i get so fucking pissed that it makes me so angry and the i start saying shit that i know that i can back up and shit and it's totally not cool when you see my bad side in me and it's totally something you don't want to see you can even ask my friends if you now what i mean and everything. I'm tried of people saying shit about me and is not even true and then pretend to be my friend that just totally fuck up if you ask me and everything. I just hate the lies and the dishonest because it is totally fucking bull shit if you ask me.

Well i have my reasons for doing the things that i do and it's nothing wrong with that because i'm against a hole lot of things and it's something i'm not all proud about and it's always seems to think that i'm totally against myself but i'm not i have a lot of issue in my life and it's not my past relationships because i don't want that to haunt me again because i really don't feel like i can go through that again if you know what i mean.

Actually going through that pain again would totally hurt my heart and soul and then i won't be able to search for what i'm really looking for and it's not right for me to always feel like this and it's not something i have to go through again because i really don't and shit. It's like that song from Crossfade cold. Because my heart feels cold and empty and there nothing i can do to bring it back to life and my soul is cold and empty to and it's hard to breath when you are cold and empty inside an you have no one to turn to because they just don't understand how you really feel about the pain you have going through you're body mind and soul.

Well i'm going to end this here. I'm going to write more tomorrow, So i'll keep you all updated on how things are going with me and my life bye for tonight.