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I'm not looking forward to going to the doctor latter on today and everything. Because the doctor totally fucking scareds me and shit and i'm not ready for the shit that she is going to be saying to me and everything and i'm totally don't want to go if you ask me. I just don't know why i feel this way but i know that they are going to try and say that i have some wrong with me and that is call i'm diabetic you know what i'm talking about. I guess it's going to be alright if you know what i'm talking about and everything. I'm always scared to go the doctor but i guess i have to get over that fear once again if you know what i mean.
I'm trying to clean up my room and make it look like it's fucking clean and everything. My room looks like someone messed it up good and everything. It's a mess and i'm goig to clean it up and then i'm going to whip down the stuff that has dirty on it and everything. I'm thinking that i might want to finish making my bed and then i'm thinking that i might take a nap again because i'm still tired and i'm not sure on what i'm going to be doing at all today. I'm just thinking about things that are totally fucking bothering me and i can't understand why it's all going to be so hard and i'm not sure on how this all got mess up.
I'm just waiting until i have to go to the doctor and like i have said i'm not really looking forward to going because it going to totally bummed me of and everything. I just want to stay home and laugh and sleep becaue that is what i'm totally fucking tired and i just want to sleep and get my rest and everything if you know what i'm talking about. I'm just trying to be me and i'm not the kind of gurl you all think that i am and i'm totally trying not to go on with my own life and how fucking screw up things can me and everything. I'm not sure if you all understand how i feel about that and i'm just trying not to cry all the fucking time and i guess it's going to have to work if you know what i'm talking about. I'm not trying to sound like a fucking a bitch but right now i'm feeling the age that i am right now. I just can't believe that the end of the month is almost here and i'm not worried about it if you know what i'm talking about and everything. I'm just having my own fun and that is how i do things around my house hold and i'm not going to worry no more.
Wow, Things always have a way of sneeking back up on you when you're not looking and that does happen to me a lot and i'm not worried about it because it's nothing bad i don't think and everthing if you all know what i'm talking about. I'm still having trouble of forgiving people who have really fucking hurt me and i just don't know how to deal with it anymore if you know what i'm talking about and everything. I just don't see how i'm going to forgive someone who really does not need to be forgiven and everything. I just feel that i'm going to get hurt more and more and it's not going to ever stop and that is what i totally need in my life right now if you know what i'm talking about and everything. I just don't want to fucking think about all my ex boyfriends who hurt me because i know that it's going to fuckig hunt me for the rest of my life and i really don't want that you know.
I spent two in a half hours in the fucking doctor office and it totally fucking pissed me off and i'm not sure on what in the hell was going on and everything but i thought to myself that it was totally fucking wrong if you ask me and everything. I'm starting to hate the fact that i have to go to the doctor ever three months and everything. I'm just thinking that i might just go and find other doctor because that would totally fucking help me out a lot if you know what i'm talking about and everything. Well i'm just thinking out loud here because i'm totally fucking bored and i'm thinking about going to bed early tonight if you know what i'm talking about and everything and i'm not sure through.
Well, Everyone I'm going to end this for the night, I'll keep you all updated on how things are going with me and my life, So pace out everyone bye for now.
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