I read one of Easy-to-Say’s recent posts and could totally relate; the one about the monthly “friend”. (With “friends” like that, who needs enemies?)  Before my sister’s divorce, whenever I would visit her, Brad (my ex brother-in-law) would say “I am so out of here if you guys start talking about your periods!” He insisted that “period” talk got more face time than any other topic. I hope I do not, like I did with Brad, alienate any of the men who read my blog by talking too much about my period. It is, however, somewhat relevant to the theme of my post. I feared that my period was going to ruin my 4th date with Camera Guy and that no “mind over matter” thoughts could do a damn thing to change it.

I started feeling like crap on Thursday. I had a migraine, stomach cramps and my legs ached. I also felt otherwise “unfocused”. I had difficulty concentrating at work and, although I did not want to cancel on my friend for our weekly “drink” night, I really just wanted to go home, get in a pair of sweatpants and watch television with a box of crackers and a pound of cheese. When I woke up on Friday and realized I got my period, I was relieved because I had determined that if it wasn’t my period, I was just dying. Period. With every month, my PMS symptoms seemingly get worse and, along with the cramps and bloating, my hormones cause me to be needy and self-conscious. I seriously become almost a completely different person. The first two days of my period are awful and, instead of looking forward to my upcoming date with Camera Guy on Saturday, I dreaded it and hoped that either 1) I would feel better by then or 2) he would cancel. (I am a mess for three days of the month, why did our 4th date have to fall on one of those days???) I was staying at my sister’s house on Friday night in order to watch my niece in her middle school’s performance of Annie that night. (She was in the chorus and didn’t have a speaking part but that didn’t matter.) Camera Guy was picking me up on Saturday afternoon directly from my sister’s house, so I had to decide what to wear on the date on Friday morning when I packed for the weekend. When I don’t feel well, it is impossible for me to imagine feeling better so I had no energy to give any thought as to what to wear on the date. I ended up throwing a pair of Khaki cargo pants from the Gap, a black tank top and a fitted hoodie in my small overnight bag. My butt looks great in the pants and the tank makes me look like I actually have cleavage but, had I felt better, I probably would not have chosen such a casual outfit for a date with a semi-new guy. Since I felt so awful when I was packing, however, I lacked the concentration to put together a better ensemble. I just wanted to be comfortable and to hell with Camera Guy!
 
I adore my niece and really wanted to see the play but I also love my Saturday mornings of sleeping late. Since Sarah had softball practice on Saturday morning at 9:00AM, I was expected to go with my sister to watch her. I still felt like crap, was exhausted from sleeping on the couch with Gypsy, my sister’s Golden Retriever, and felt fat and gross from skipping the gym on Friday morning and then gorging myself with Chinese food that night. I also woke up with a headache from drinking two glasses of Pinot Noir with my sister before going to sleep. Damn, Camera Guy, I just want to go back to bed!!!

I nixed the headache with a couple cups of coffee and, thanks to a five mile run on my sister’s treadmill, I no longer felt fat. Since I still had cramps and felt otherwise “blah”, I popped two Alleves and hoped for the best. Camera Guy arrived at about 4:00PM bearing, as usual, a big grin on his face. My niece and nephew turned shy and said a quick hello before hugging me goodbye and running away and, since my sister felt sick as well, her greeting was also brief. Introductions lasted less than five minutes before we were on our way. When we got in his car, Camera Guy immediately leaned over to kiss me and the told me how great it was to see me. Despite being under the weather, I was really happy to see him as well. He asked me what I wanted to do and, since I had really been too out of it to give our date much thought at all (except for dreading it), I let him lead the way. We decided to take a road trip since he lives somewhat close by and is familiar with the area.

During the drive, Camera Guy pointed out so many beautiful homes and pieces of land which might have otherwise escaped my view. He also amused me in that he often gets sidetracked in the middle of one conversation and begins talking about something completely unrelated. He must have done that ten times during the drive and it made me chuckle inwardly. I actually liked him more after witnessing his mild case of “road rage” when a car in front of us was moving way slower than the speed limit would allow. It was nice to watch him express a negative emotion because, so far, he seemed so friggin perfect! We passed a drive-in movie theater and Camera Guy asked if I had ever been. I told him the last time I went to a drive-in was in 1976. My parents took me and my sisters to see a double feature: The Pink Panther and Take the Money and Run. All I remember about the night was wearing my pajamas in public. He said he loved drive-in movies and asked if I wanted to go that evening. The idea seemed ok to me and, since I had no other alternatives to suggest, I agreed. We had some time to kill so we walked the streets of a cute art town, the name of which escapes me. I tried on a great leather coat in one of the stores that I would have purchased had it fit me better. Camera Guy had to assist me in and out of the coat since the buttons were very difficult to open and close. I quite enjoyed that, especially when he leaned down to kiss me while manipulating the buttons on the coat. After our brief walk, we stopped at a local eatery for some dinner and decided on what movie to see at the drive in; three different movies play at the same time. We chose Semi-Pro, starring Will Ferrell and Woody Harrelson. We thought it sounded stupid but the other choices, a cartoon and a horror movie, were even less appealing. We drove to the theater, parked the car and got some popcorn and water. Then Camera Guy grabbed a blanket from his trunk and we smooched a little before the movie started. We quickly realized that we parked the car by the wrong movie screen when the sound coming from the radio did not match the images on the screen and hurriedly moved the car to the correct lot.  At one point during the movie, I took a sip from my water bottle and started choking. I was trying to explain to Camera Guy that the water went down the wrong pipe when I inadvertently squeezed the water bottle and spilled a significant amount on my side of the blanket and down my pants. Camera Guy and I started laughing hysterically and he kissed me and said I was the most adorable person he had ever met. (I think that was my favorite part of the night. I did something so inherently “Meri” and he LOVED it. What I want more than anything else is to find someone who, and I will quote a line from my online dating profile, “thinks the little things that make me “me” are adorable when perhaps someone else might not even notice them”. I think I have found that in Camera Guy because, no matter what I do or say, he thinks it is the cutest thing he has ever seen/heard.) Anyway, the rest of the movie is kind of a blur because at one point, the horror flick on one of the other screens in our view looked more interesting so we changed our radio station and watched it for awhile. We also talked throughout the entire movie and occasionally exchanged kisses. When the movie ended, we decided not to stick around for the second one since I was still pretty beat from waking up early and from my period basically sucking all of the energy out of my system.

Before heading back to the city, Camera Guy asked if I wanted to go home or stay at his place. While I was tempted to stay with him, 1) I wasn’t sure I was quite ready and 2) I didn’t feel quite comfortable as a result of my monthly “situation” so I told him that I would prefer to go home but would take a rain check on seeing his place. I was not quite sure he believed me about the rain check because he was a bit quiet on the way home. I became self conscious and feared that he was annoyed because he would not be getting “lucky”. Then I remembered the comments from my previous text that I should decide on my own time how quickly I wanted things to move. If Camera Guy would lose interest simply because I wouldn’t sleep with him after four dates, it would suggest that his interest in me did not go that deep. Because I really like him, however, I didn’t want him to think that my preference to stay at my own place was an indication that I was not interested in him so I let it slip that I had my period and hadn’t felt well for the past few days. I think he drew his own connection between my period and my desire to go home because he was cheery again and started kissing me at every red light. When he dropped me off at my apartment, he told me again how much he loves my company and how much he enjoys kissing and touching me and I told him that I felt the same. We hugged and kissed one more time and this time it was me bearing the big grin when I walked into my apartment.

For the first time in close to a year, it was Camera Guy I thought about before falling asleep, not Brian, and it was Camera Guy I thought about when I woke up this morning, not Brian. I wrote previously that the grip with which I held onto hopes of a happily-ever- after with Brian was loosening. I am starting to believe that Camera Guy might be strong enough to help me remove it completely.