| Posted in
IDK, Something for internet relationships? on 2008-04-30 22:41:37 |
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That was SO nice.
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| Posted in
Lessons Learned on 2008-04-30 22:36:07 |
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Thank you! I hope not to make you wait too long (for your sake and mine - I kind of miss the guy..)
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| Posted in
Figured out meaning of life......NO bullshit!! on 2008-04-30 17:24:11 |
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Damn - you are so coherent even at 30 sheets to the wind. I could never express myself so eloquently after drinking to excess. Nice job.
By the way, I agree with you - I hate when people expect to be "rewarded" for simply showing up. In order to get extra, you have to do extra. I also hate when people complain all of the time but don't seem to make any effort to better their situation. Frustrating.
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| Posted in
My pee stinks...... on 2008-04-30 17:14:46 |
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You simply crack me up. Proud to call you a fellow New Yorker.
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| Posted in
1-800-BUZ-ZOFF!!! on 2008-04-30 17:01:40 |
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Bootlady - I am so happy you commented on my last post because I have now discovered that you have such an amazing sense of humor and I love your writing. Consider yourself bookmarked!
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| Posted in
To Coin a Pitaism..."Good Grief!" on 2008-04-30 16:56:09 |
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That was the funniest post I read all day. Kind of scary, in my opinion, that schools have to teach 12 year olds how to put on a condom. I had my first KISS at 12 and I think that was kind of the norm back then.
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| Posted in
lap it up, my lane theory on 2008-04-30 16:42:29 |
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That was brilliant, Roe.
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| Posted in
What I want to say . . . on 2008-04-30 16:36:16 |
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I would be interested in reading that book as well.
Prelude, I felt like I was right there with you reading your "letter to Brian". It broke my heart. Nothing hurts more than caring for someone so deeply and not being secure that the feelings are returned.
Mamacita sent you hugs already so I will just send you a box of dark chocolate, a bottle of good wine, a bento box of sushi, some plaintains and avocado and a specially designed canopy tour just for you.
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| Posted in
Remember When on 2008-04-30 16:22:53 |
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I remember when going to the movies cost $2.50 instead of $11.00! I remember waiting for the letter from my "penpal" to actually arrive in the mail! I remember watching "Friday Night Videos" on regular television, way before MTV. Actually, I remember when MTV actually showed videos instead of stupid reality shows. I remember when I had to watch "premium" television channels like HBO on Cinemax in order to hear curse words or sexual inuendos. I remember when the most scandelous thing on the Real World was the sexual tension between Eric and Julie and not orgies in the hot tub. I remember rushing home to check my messages long before the days of cell phones. I remember getting busy signals before call waiting was invented. I could go on!
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| Posted in
WHEW,,,,,, I DID IT...... BUT IT WAS TOUCH AND GO! on 2008-04-30 15:52:15 |
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I have to give you credit, Lastblast! I don't think I have the energy to comment on every single post I read but I try. I am sure that you made all of those people happy just like they made you happy when they commented on yours. (You made me happy when you commented on mine, by the way - thanks!)
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| Posted in
TO COMMENT OR NOT TO COMMENT ! THAT IS THE QUESTIO on 2008-04-30 15:45:44 |
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Great post! (and see how many comments you got :)) I agree with what you wrote. I post on Myspace and had to beg my friends to comment sometimes. They always told me they loved my blogs but since they never commented, I didn't even know they were reading. Personally, I love when someone "new" comments. I was pleased just yesterday when Bootlady and you commented on mine for the first time. Like you, I think it's also a good way to make a new friend. If I like a post, I will comment regardless of whether the person is a "friend" or not. Sometimes a new friendship develops but, if not, I like to think I made someone happy simply by commenting.
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| Posted in
Christmas in May on 2008-04-30 15:22:54 |
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I think out of respect for your wife you should return the gifts but, as Colorado so eloquently stated "feelings are your feelings" - you can't force yourself to "not want to keep the gifts". It seems to me that the only thing you can do is lie to your wife and tell her that you don't want to keep the gifts! Little white lies never hurt anyone and, in this case, can help keep the peace.
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| Posted in
How I met my husband on 2008-04-30 15:13:22 |
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What an awesome love story. And you wrote it so well.
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| Posted in
Bully gets Blu TACKED! on 2008-04-30 15:00:01 |
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That Miss 8 is quite the spit fire! Would you ever consider posting a picture of Miss 8 and Master 4 (now 5)??
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| Posted in
The Angel Pat on 2008-04-30 14:49:27 |
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Bullseye - sorry about the job. I truly believe everything happens for a reason so possibly a better job is right around the corner for you. I hope so!
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| Posted in
2 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 2008-04-30 14:28:39 |
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Hi Fancie - I hope you have a great time with your husband! (If you are back, I hope you HAD a great time.) I am happy for you that you are working things out.
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| Posted in
A funny thing happend on the way to the forums on 2008-04-30 13:11:44 |
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Tony, I am new to your posts and will have to look back to read about your story with Tiff. You seem like a great guy and I am sorry she hurt you. At least this "cute" girl will give you something else to think about. Of course, you can't easily replace someone you loved (or even "lusted") but a little distraction is unlikely to hurt anyone.
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| Posted in
My readers on 2008-04-30 13:01:51 |
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Mandie - you didn't go off path - I understand everything you said and feel exactly the same way. I love it here. Actually, I have become seriously dependent on it.
Bittersweet - your comment mirrored EXACTLY how I feel about posting. I love it and want people to read but sometimes I get cold sweats wonder exactly WHO is reading. Catch 22!
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| Posted in
Friends & Their Dilemmas on 2008-04-30 11:41:46 |
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I hope you have a great time next weekend. It sucks when not all of your friends get along. I have friends that don't really "click" with each other but, thankfully, they manage to get along the few times I hang out with them at the same time. It's tough though - I don't like all of my friend's friends either.
You are a good friend to Jen. Just don't let her negativity have an adverse effect on you. That happens sometimes - negativity is contagious.
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| Posted in
Wild hairs and dog dishes on 2008-04-30 11:30:08 |
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Definitely send pictures of the new hair. I am a complete wimp when it comes to my hair. My big decision: bangs or no bangs? I have had the same hair, more or less, forever. I just have long layers now instead of all one length. Enough about me!
I can't believe you remembered the cost of the dog food. That's something else, Blue!
Finally, if you truly believe that Brad will never see your side of the story and really acknowledge that he did anything wrong, I agree there is not much point to even going there. Sucks though. I hate people who cannot admit when they screwed up!
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| Posted in
Nightmares, Disinterest, and Dirty Underwear on 2008-04-30 11:18:44 |
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Like Mamacita, I always carry spare panties in my carry-on - I learned my lesson when a flight was overbooked and I had to wear men's tightie whities the entire next day - the only underwear the hotel store sold!
I can totally relate to those specific trust issues. I am always cautious when a guy likes me to too soon because he doesn't know me. How can he like me "so much" when he barely knows me? I feel like if I have to work to make him like me, when he does, it will be based on something solid. Perhaps that is why I am having so much trouble giving in to CG, yet holding on Brian. CG likes me alot and I don't see how that is possible and think I am afraid he will change his mind when he learns more about the "real me". If Brian still likes me after all of this time, it's the real deal. Totally dumb, I think, but that's just me.
Sucks about the nightmares? Do you take any pills to help you sleep that might bring them on? I have heard of such side effects.
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| Posted in
Waddya mean you don't wanna be my friend?! on 2008-04-30 10:59:07 |
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I love reading your posts Ellie and am happy to call you a friend. (I have had some people ignore, or perhaps deny, my friend requests as well. Oh, well - their loss!)
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| Posted in
My readers on 2008-04-30 10:45:38 |
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Thanks for all of your comments. I started writing for others and then when it came to Brian-issues, it was mainly cathartic and for me. Currently, I am working on getting over my "privacy" issues so that I can continue to write exactly what is on my mind and share it with others with no worries. I am glad you all like what I write - gives me added incentive to keep doing it!
To BootLady and Lastblast - thanks so much for your comments. I am glad that you both read my blog and that you decided to comment. You are never intruding to comment - that's how I met all of my friends on here (from commenting on each other's posts). I always like new friends and new blogs to read.
To quote Pita - have a totally awesome, wicked, tubular, rockin, gnarly day.
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| Posted in
this is for easytosay on 2008-04-29 19:26:58 |
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That was really nice of you - You expressed what a bunch of us are probably feeling as "FOTY" sure isn't "father of the year"!!
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| Posted in
Chapter One on 2008-04-29 18:35:02 |
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This is GOOD stuff. Keep going.
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| Posted in
Somewhere over your nose on 2008-04-29 18:13:24 |
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I mean WOO - was trying to abbreviate Wizard of Oz!
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| Posted in
Somewhere over your nose on 2008-04-29 18:12:52 |
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I agree with your point of view completely on this post - I think if I lost my desire to keep "learning", I would lose my desire to "live". I also think your wife's conclusion about the meaning of the WOZ was quite a stretch. I don't think Frank Baum (I think that's his name) was trying to say that Dorothy and Aunt Em and Uncle whatshisname should not take vacations but merely that they should appreciate what they have in their own backyard.
Please don't think I am a jerk by saying this, but you and your wife do not seem to be the slightest bit compatible in some major areas. Some people are home bodies and complacement with the "status quo" and that is fine. It's obviously not you, however. That could be the root of a lot of your struggles as a couple.
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| Posted in
The Goodness of People on 2008-04-29 15:07:08 |
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I agree with all of the above: everything happens for a reason. You were meant to meet that feisty, chain smoking, dear old lady. If not to take a room in her house, for some other reason. I would look into it - at least check the place out. What have you got to lose?
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| Posted in
WHAT RELIGION IS YOUR BRA???? on 2008-04-29 14:28:40 |
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I have the Barely There "Bs", hence my bra of choice is the Baptist "make a mountain out of a mole hill". Hysterical post!
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| Posted in
A Thoughts.Com Party on 2008-04-29 14:18:27 |
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I'm so there! I might leave CG at home though - I have a feeling it would be more fun without him (statement meant to compliment you guys, not to insult him!)
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| Posted in
wickedly awesome day! on 2008-04-29 12:42:16 |
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That was, like, the most awesome, totally tubular post ever. And, if anyone says otherwise, we'll just, like, totally gag him with a spoon. Have a wicked awesome day, Pita!
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| Posted in
Snow…On April 28th?!... on 2008-04-29 12:01:43 |
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Thanks for the welcome home, Mandie!
Snow at the end of April? Wow, that sucks. It's pouring here in New York - I long for Costa Rica sunshine. *Tear*
It's tough when you stop "liking" your best friends as much as you used to; when people's interests change in different directions; when people who used to make you laugh until you cried suddenly annoy the crap out of you. I guess some friends are meant to last forever and others are just temporary. It is still sad.
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| Posted in
Forgiveness?? on 2008-04-29 11:27:36 |
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Damn, that line would have hooked me too. I sometimes feel the same way about my hardships growing up - makes me appreciate the blessings I have so much more - so if I heard that line from another (especially a single, attractive, bright, funny and articulate man), it would affect me. I can't believe he would purposely manipulate you that way and sincerely hope that he at least meant it at the time. So sorry he hurt you so much, Blue.
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| Posted in
Tuesday ... loop hole?? on 2008-04-29 11:19:18 |
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You wicked, wicked woman! Good for you.
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| Posted in
Going for the record on 2008-04-29 11:15:56 |
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I hate going to the dentist and my "6" month reminder is already 6 months stale. I promised I would make an appointment when I returned from Costa Rica. Thanks (sort of) for the reminder!
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| Posted in
Tuesday night ... Funk Night on 2008-04-29 11:00:52 |
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That sucks, Easy. Not sure what else to say. Miss 8 will understand someday but, for now, it seems to me like you are answering her questions pretty darn well.
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| Posted in
Forgiveness?? on 2008-04-29 10:52:21 |
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I hear you. It's easy to say "don't punish all guys for the actions of one or two" but much more difficult to act on it. I have trust issues as well and always will. I've gotten better at internalizing them but have a huge fear of abandonment/rejection - "daddy" issues, I guess.
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| Posted in
Forgiveness?? on 2008-04-29 10:16:28 |
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By the way, none of what I said is meant to excuse how callous it was for him to post his profile so quickly - I am NOT trying to justify the actions of that pr--k! (Just trying to look deeper.)
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| Posted in
Forgiveness?? on 2008-04-29 10:13:57 |
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Blue - did you ever think that Scott was in denial about his own issues? Instead of blaming himself for not being able to communicate with you and perhaps seeking help, he might have thought "it will be easier with someone else" - that might explain the Match profile. I used to have issues with men (still do..) but instead of looking inwardly, I always dumped the guy and tried to find a new one. Just a thought...(Personally, I think that is what "B" is doing - he will never be happy with a woman until he resolves his own issues but he will keeping looking for the "right" one instead.)
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| Posted in
Costa Rica - Pura Vida! on 2008-04-29 10:04:38 |
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Pitapie - Thank you so much for those kind words. I did feel brave! I did not feel beautiful but certainly appreciate the compliment :)
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| Posted in
instead of writing, I spent my time reading on 2008-04-28 17:32:24 |
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I loved that movie! And, I loved the beach house too. Most of all, I loved your blog.
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| Posted in
Yesterday's Meltdown on 2008-04-28 16:29:55 |
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All of my married male friends say that they love when their wife initiates sex because she rarely does. Yet I was turned down repeatedly by "who know who" and, yes, it feels horrible!! Don't know what to say about that.
With regard to cleaning up after himself. You shouldn't have to tell him - he should just know.
Finally, you love the guy. Only you can decide whether he truly makes you happy enough to deal with the bad times. No judgements. I certainly know how hard it is to give up on someone for whom you care so deeply. I feel for you and, as always, am rooting for you guys to make it and, more importantly, for the good times to WAY outweigh the bad!
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| Posted in
New Toy on 2008-04-28 16:24:30 |
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Did YOU sleep with Mr. Roper, Prelude?
That sounds like so much fun! (the party, not sleeping with Mr. Roper!! Although he is better looking than Mr. Furley!)
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| Posted in
Costa Rica - Pura Vida! on 2008-04-28 11:26:32 |
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Angelwings - Thankfully, my hair was not quite as bad as Monica's!
Blue - I can't believe that happened to you! That is so friggin scary. Thank God you were over the ocean with a life jacket and not free falling from the forest.
Easy - The above blog will have to suffice as the general Thoughts postcard. I left all of your addresses at home...However, for good measure, here goes: "Having a blast. Wish you were here!"
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| Posted in
Flirting on 2008-04-28 10:16:15 |
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If no one gets hurt and one "flirtee" is not taking advantage of the other, why the hell not? It sure is fun.
And, how can dreams be "wrong"??? As you wrote, we have no control over the content of dreams we have when sleeping. Personally, I don't think day dreams are wrong either unless one gets so carried away with day dreams that he/she leaves reality behind.
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| Posted in
One Time One Time Only on 2008-04-27 23:03:16 |
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That's so awesome! You are both my friends on Thoughts and I am thrilled that you found more than friendship in each other. This world is full of surprises and, thankfully, some of them are GREAT surprises.
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| Posted in
Shorty is a killa on 2008-04-27 22:59:32 |
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Glad you decided to come back. I haven't experienced the jerks on this site yet, but I have heard they are running wild. Glad they didn't chase you away. The cool, nice people shall prevail!
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| Posted in
I’m A Dreamin’ Kind Of Girl… on 2008-04-27 22:55:41 |
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Sure, Keifer Sutherland might be (way) too old for you, but he's Jack Bauer for God's sake - he's a bad ass hero and is sexy as hell.
So glad you are loving baseball!
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| Posted in
A Message To All The Haters… on 2008-04-27 22:52:55 |
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Great post, Mandie! I agree that it is pathetic that a place where we are supposed to be able to vent and express ourselves has the capacity to turn so ugly.
Anyhow, if you ever decide to move to a BIG town, think about the Big Apple - we can party till 3:00AM and leave all of the drama behind!
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| Posted in
Updates - Yes, I'm Back :) on 2008-04-27 22:48:37 |
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I am glad you are working things out with BF. I can tell by your posts that you love him deeply and I do not think you are being weak by holding on. Quite the contrary - I think you are being strong by not giving up just because the relationship is difficult.
Finally, glad you came back. You were gone for a short time, but I missed you.
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| Posted in
Do we know each other? Strange, I can't recall on 2008-04-27 22:25:53 |
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Good luck with that Blue. Hasn't worked for me yet! Like Prelude, I have never really gotten over one man until I truly fell for another. Since I fall so infrequently, it makes things REAL tough. The visions of Brian taking a crap haven't worked yet...I thought Heidi said that aversion therapy was full proof!!
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| Posted in
What's it gonna take? on 2008-04-27 22:15:00 |
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When Aunt Flo (so glad I figured out what they meant, the dumbass I am) departs, so will these pessimistic feelings! In the meantime, eat some chocolate and drink some wine and, yes brood, brood, brood. Always works for me.
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| Posted in
More of the same, and some bonus material on 2008-04-27 22:10:38 |
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I had to read that paragraph twice to confirm that you did, indeed, say the line about her son not overcoming the stupid phase out loud. Good for you!
Glad you befriend people who don't have their shit together - that includes your's truly!
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| Posted in
Costa Rica - Pura Vida! on 2008-04-27 21:08:43 |
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Thanks Bullseye! I missed you guys too - I was almost tempted to log on when I got home last night - it was 1:00AM.. Thankfully, sleep won over my ever growing addiction to blogging.
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| Posted in
Yerr, I was bullied once ... on 2008-04-27 17:56:29 |
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I could relate to this - not to the same extent but back in middle school ("Junior High", I was also on the edges of the in-crowd and went from being accepted to ostrasized as quickly as my family of 7 went through a roll of toilet paper. I am embarrassed to admit that I turned and did the same to other girls. It was not until later in my life that I realized the true meaning of friendship. I could (and might) write a junior adult book about trying to be accepted - the whole Queen Bee and "wanna be" phenomenon. I watch my niece very carefully and pray that she doesn't go through any of that pain. Thankfully, she is strong as nails - I, on the other hand, was spineless!
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| Posted in
Sisters ... who'd have 'em on 2008-04-27 17:48:18 |
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It's definitely unfortunate that you and your sister do not have a better relationship but, just because people are "family" doesn't mean they will get along or would ever like each other had they met as "strangers". I am blessed in that one of my sisters is my best friend in the entire world - my biggest fan and my worst critic. Fiercely loyal and oodles of fun. I love my other sister too but do not consider her a "friend". It seems like your sister is making an effort to be closer with you, although she should have expressed it better. Maybe she is acting on the defensive because she is afraid of rejection. I also get the sense that she is envious of you - that you open up more easily, that you have children, maybe that you are a happier and stronger person in general. I hope you can work things out - when sisters DO bond, it is a beautiful thing.
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| Posted in
Bitch-Up on 2008-04-27 15:27:24 |
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YIPPEE!!!! Nuff said.
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| Posted in
Some Thoughts on Friends on Thoughts on 2008-04-27 15:23:56 |
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I think I am a bit choked up right about now! Perhaps it is because I have been gone for a week and missed you all. Im BAAAACCCCKKKK!!
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| Posted in
I'm Sorry, Are You Serious? on 2008-04-18 16:53:42 |
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The stupidity of some people never ceases to amaze me! Funny.
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| Posted in
9/11... where were you? on 2008-04-18 14:47:08 |
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I was at work early because I had taken a four day weekend when a colleague rushed into the hallway and exclaimed that a "plane hit the twin towers"! I was stressed from work so at first, I shooed her away until I realized what she had said. I tried to turn on CNN.com but couldn't get through. I called my sister and told her to put on the news. The instant she did so, the second plane hit. I immediately called all of my friends and family to make sure they were accounted for. I work in New York City and none of the subways were working. Along with 1000s of others, I walked across the 59th Street bridge to Queens from my midtown office building and stayed overnight with a friend. I lived alone in New Jersey at the time and was afraid to be alone. I remember sleeping on my friend's couch with the television set on all night. You could see and even smell the smoke for at least a month. A constant reminder. My four day weekend before had been so amazing - I saw John Cougar in concert, went to the beach, visited family - it was incredibly stress free. I remember thinking that everytime I am stress free, something catastrophic happens afterwards. I will never forget that day. It's the day the world changed.
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| Posted in
Bye-Bye Blue on 2008-04-18 14:35:30 |
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I didn't know she left until I came into work this morning and got an email from her so I never got to read her goodbye blog. She was my first friend on thoughts and I loved her blogs - awesome sense of humour, incredibly intelligent and so thoughtful of others. I miss her already! I certainly hope everything is ok.
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| Posted in
If You're Not The One on 2008-04-18 14:23:22 |
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I absolutely love that song. Always makes me cry but somehow, the crying feels good.
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| Posted in
(Poor) FOTY and Master 5's celebration on 2008-04-18 11:31:58 |
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FOTY is such a piece of work! He couldn't "sit" at a Mexican Restaurant but he could "sit" in a car and then "sit" on your couch? And the nerve to ask you to cook??! Was he this selfish when you were married?
Do you have pictures of the kids posted here at all? They sound so adorable!
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| Posted in
Ooops a CLM ...... on 2008-04-18 11:16:19 |
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It's kind of funny to picture the big "boss" as just a little kid at heart feeling left out because someone forgot his birthday. Poor guy! Probably makes him less intimidating now too. Anyway, I agree with the others - do something belated - he will downplay it but, inside, he will be very happy.
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| Posted in
Aidan vs. Mr. Big (Camera Guy vs. Brian) on 2008-04-18 11:04:05 |
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Thanks, Douglas - you are so wise! Thank you for putting so much thought into your comments - they are really helpful to me.
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| Posted in
Send my regards to the soy people on 2008-04-17 12:20:00 |
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You really have a way with words. That was so funny, although I hope for your sake it was at least a minor exageration. "Ahh wash that dish...show it whose boss" - You crack me up!!
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| Posted in
Im a MESS on 2008-04-17 11:44:45 |
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Do what you have to do but I certainly hope you will come back - I will miss your posts as well as your supportive comments in response to mine. I am sorry you feel so alone and hope things look up soon.
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| Posted in
Far Across Somewhere on 2008-04-17 11:39:10 |
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You are quite the romantic, aren't you? Wow - very nice stuff.
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| Posted in
Learning to Trust again .... on 2008-04-17 11:31:22 |
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I thought it was awesome, Easy. When you finish writing your romance novel with the hot sex scenes, you can start a book of poetry.
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| Posted in
Problem – Solution… on 2008-04-17 11:23:46 |
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You're too much, Mandie. Very funny.
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| Posted in
I can't wait to get out of work today . . . on 2008-04-17 11:21:59 |
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I'm so happy that counseling is going well for you guys!
Can you make a "fake" bed on the floor for Jen with lots of blankets or a sleeping bag? I have slept on worse for a single night.
I am lightweight these days too :)
Have fun.
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| Posted in
Aidan vs. Mr. Big (Camera Guy vs. Brian) on 2008-04-17 10:32:54 |
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Easy, you just might be right and I think I will do as you suggest. I am off to Costa Rica for a week but it will give me something to look forward to upon my return.
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| Posted in
Just one more day on 2008-04-16 19:16:25 |
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My paternal grandfather. He was an awesome man and, although I was only 8 when he passed away, I have such wonderful memories of him. I'd also like to know what he thinks about his son's criminal actions. I like to think he would be proud of me for standing up to him but, since my father is his son, you never know. I almost bought that book for my flight to Costa Rica but I decided to choose something more "light".
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| Posted in
The real housewives of New York on 2008-04-16 19:02:46 |
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Oh - Bethany was runner-up on Martha Stewart's version of The Apprentice. She is a professional chef and the show probably gave her business a boost, but she's no phony.
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| Posted in
The real housewives of New York on 2008-04-16 19:01:34 |
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I watch it too and, like you, I love Bethany! Smart girl - I would totally hang with her. I wish she would not have given in to Jason. If he doesn't give her what she needs, some other guy certainly would. Then again, it is easier to see things when you are looking from the outside in. Ramona is totally annoying and I wish she'd give her child some space. Not so sure about the others. I never planned to watch it but I found myself home on a Saturday and Bravo was airing the marathon. I could not get my arse off of the couch to stop watching. I missed the finale last night thanks to Mr. Brian. It will be repeated many, many times, I am sure.
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| Posted in
Diamond Memories on 2008-04-16 18:45:48 |
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I LOVE Who's on first. Never fails to crack me up. I watch it on Youtube whenever I am having a bad day at work. Never fails to turn things around for me. Those guys were BRILLIANT.
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| Posted in
Aidan vs. Mr. Big (Camera Guy vs. Brian) on 2008-04-16 17:46:13 |
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I always thought Carrie should end up with Big because I felt like, as perfect as Aidan was, he never loved her for all her craziness - Big, despite being a late bloomer, accepted her for exactly who she was, party girl, smoker, fashion diva, etc. Anyway, Brian is no Big and Camera Guy is no Aidan but I liked Roe's analogy after my last post. Brian doesn't make me feel stupid and has commented on my intelligence and depth on several occassions. I just act so dumb in front of him sometimes that I feel stupid. It just doesn't matter. I can't have Brian. At least not the Brian I want. Not even sure he would want to go back to the way it was, even if I was self destructive enough to want to. I just wish I could combine Camera Guy with Brian to make my ideal man.
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| Posted in
She's not heavy, she's my daughter! on 2008-04-16 12:12:26 |
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I don't know if I am just particularly sensitive today, however, that post made me cry - in a good way. Thank you for sharing.
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| Posted in
Wash that man right out of my hair on 2008-04-15 17:33:34 |
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I am leaving to meet him in about 30 minutes and I just re-read my post "Free to Be Me and Me" - and remembered how wonderful it felt to be with Camera Guy. I also read The Anti-Brian to remind myself that me and Brian are not compatible and he could never make me happy. I am hoping to enjoy his company tonight and appreciate the man he is but remain steadfast in my knowledge that he is not THE man for me. I don't want to lose him completely but, you are all right, I might not be able to have it both ways. I guess I have some serious thinking to do but, for now, I will keep it simple: GO YANKEES!
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A small worry on 2008-04-15 16:36:35 |
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Maybe he is not, in fact, "changing", but merely "adjusting" to your needs. I think relationships are about compromise and each person needs to concede a little. Maybe he is trying to communicate more, be more affectionate etc. because it is what YOU need and he loves you. And, by the same token, if you can also "adjust" your needs to accept that he might not always be as warm as you would like, you could actually have a successful relationship? Totally not an expert, as you know. Just my take. I would just enjoy the "adjustment" for a while and try not to analyze it - you will only make yourself paranoid and nutty..
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Love and Acceptance on 2008-04-15 15:46:14 |
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You can tell BF 100 times a day, 24/7, seven days a week but you can't make him believe. You CAN, however, stop making it YOUR responsibility to make him have a high self worth. Beauty, talent, intelligence is also in the eye of the beholder and if YOU believe he is all of those things, HE is, whether he wants to believe it or not.
With regard to SM, I am glad that he has helped you through this, however, I really hope that you keep it in perspective and do not get your hopes up too high. If things don't work out the way you want, I hope you will still take comfort in the support he gave you when you needed it. Finally, be careful! He's a stranger who knows your every desire. Please be careful. (I don't mean to sound like a mom. I guess I am just a cynical New Yorker whose seen it all...) Good luck - can't wait to read the next installment.
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| Posted in
Thanks on 2008-04-15 15:25:57 |
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WK - I am not going to remove your blog from my bookmarks simply because you and KP have decided to part ways. I will visit you almost daily. Promise.
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End/begining or begining/end on 2008-04-15 15:23:34 |
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WK - I have absolutely no experience from which to give you any advice in this matter but I wish you the best of happiness. I hope that you and your wife can fall in love again. I do agree with Prelude, however, that you shouldn't stay with your wife while secretly waiting around for KP. I hope you won't do that because it is not fair to your wife. My heart goes out to you. Best of luck to you!! And, on a much lighter note, here's to our Yankees in 2008!
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Update on My Dad... on 2008-04-15 15:09:54 |
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Poor guy. My thoughts are with him.
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No Words on 2008-04-15 15:07:37 |
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You sure have a poetic way with words. Lovely post.
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Wash that man right out of my hair on 2008-04-15 14:27:56 |
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Mandie - good luck to your Brewers and thanks for your support!
Prelude - you might be right but I am just not ready to let him go completely. I tried it and it didn't work - "out of sight, out of mind" just doesn't work for me. I just get lost in daydreams. I think the reality of having him in such a limited capacity has actually made it easier for me to start moving on. I am interested in your further thoughts though if you do have time. Thanks!
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Wash that man right out of my hair on 2008-04-15 13:33:01 |
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I've been singing it all morning too. Sorry! We tend to go to the same places everytime we hang out, so that won't work either. However, when I recall certain things he said/did while we were dating, I am at least momentarily jolted into remembering why I am so much better off not dating him. I use that as my aversion therapy. I don't want the current version of him; I want Brian+ (him but more affectionate, emotional, communicative, sexual etc.) and I am just wondering if I will stop wanting it. It hit me last night that I am in limbo and I am now depressed as a result.
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Wash that man right out of my hair on 2008-04-15 11:41:11 |
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Blue, I tried the "cold turkey" thing with him and it was worse. I need him in my life but, you are right, I have no idea why at this point. When we weren't speaking at all, I constantly wondered what he was doing, if he was thinking about me etc. I am no longer obsessed with him so I think I am actually in a better place being his "friend" than nothing. Of course, I could be completely wrong. By the way, he has the most impeccable manners of anyone I have ever met - he will not pick his nose. Nice thought though.
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My Moral Dilemma on 2008-04-15 11:02:44 |
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I wouldn't tell her. Unless the girl is a great friend, she might turn on you instead. Women like to believe the best of their boyfriends and, if you tell her, she might start to think of you as a threat and give you the cold shoulder. If he really is a snake, she will find out eventually.
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FOTY drops the ball again on 2008-04-15 10:57:32 |
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FOTY sucks! Sorry your plans did not turn out as planned - certainly no fault of your own.
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Master 4 turns 5 .... 12 months on on 2008-04-15 10:55:33 |
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Happy Birthday Master 5 (so original, aren't I, but how many different ways can I write the same thing...). You are such a strong woman, Easy, and a great mother. I hope the rest of your Aprils are worlds better than April, 2007.
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Sex Vs. Love on 2008-04-14 15:19:20 |
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That was a very refreshing and honest blog. I liked it! I am hoping to have what you have with your husband someday. Minus the sleeping with other couples part - No judgement, AT ALL - I just don't know if I could be uninhibited enough to go there.
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The Many Lessons of Baseball… on 2008-04-14 15:13:42 |
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Too bad you are not a Yankee fan, I could talk baseball (or baseball players) with you all day. And, yes, those MLB men DO have nice butts!!! I will have to check out Corey Hart. Not loving the Yankee eye candy too much this season.
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What I'd like to blog about! on 2008-04-14 15:06:37 |
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Awesome post. I hope you meet him soon, although I will miss your posts!
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a buyers market or is it buyers remorse? on 2008-04-14 12:50:32 |
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You crack me up! Good thing I read your post because I have been tempted to buy that egg thing to remove the dead skin on my feet. I think I will stick to professional pedicures - they are more fun anyway :)
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The Gospel of Alvin on 2008-04-14 12:17:35 |
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I am picturing your kid singing Alvin and the Chipmunks at church. What a ham! Totally cute.
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What to do..... on 2008-04-14 12:13:07 |
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I agree - take the job. Making more money and job security will help the kids in the long run and visitation will work itself out. Good luck! (and congratulations too!)
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Random Thoughts on 2008-04-14 11:15:00 |
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I am so happy that things are going well. Maybe Brian realized what he might lose and is trying really hard to make sure that doesn't happen. It's about time!
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A GIRLS NIGHT OUT????? on 2008-04-12 19:18:31 |
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Love it! I think I've read it before but it never fails to crack me up.
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| Posted in
My Saturday on 2008-04-12 18:02:44 |
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I am picturing you bopping around the town with your Ipod and curious what you were listening to - music tends to make everything better. I couldn't live without it.
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She's sitting in my seat!! on 2008-04-12 18:00:49 |
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Like Ellie, I could feel your emotions while I read this post. I am sorry that things didn't work out like you planned but truly believe a brighter future is headed your way.
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Steel belted umbilical cord on 2008-04-11 13:50:10 |
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Wow! I thought my mom was bad. She calls me every day at 3:30PM (on the dot). She does not, however, baby me in any way, shape or form. She's just nosy (wants to know if I am dating). Anyway, from what I've read, you ARE a great father. You are there for your son, yet give him the space to become his own man. I wish my father had been so good.
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Its Not Just a Laundry Room..... on 2008-04-11 13:38:13 |
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That happened to me once - I got up early to do laundry before work. I went down to the laundry room in my building, put in two loads, went back to my apartment to take a shower, came back 30 minutes later and the clothes had not been washed but were all soapy. The building had not turned the water on and I had to start from scratch. I was so pissed! And I didn't make it to work until lunch time.
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Growing Old Together on 2008-04-11 13:19:02 |
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Very thought provoking post. I don't know from experience, but I can't imagine that even the happiest of relationships do not encounter rough times. In fact, I think it is the rough times that probably feeds the strength of the relationship.
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The Truth on 2008-04-11 12:14:48 |
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Hi Angelwings,
You really love BF but lately he isn't give you what you want, need and know you deserve in the relationship. You meet this guy, SM, online and it seems like he reads your mind and knows everything you want and need. But, you haven't even met him and it is easy to think someone is perfect before you've met and actually gone through the ups and downs of being in a relationship. If you choose to let BF go, I don't think it should be because of SM because you can't really compare what you've shared with BF for three years with words you have exchanged with SM for a few weeks. It isn't fair to BF, in my opinion. I think you truly love BF but wish he could give you more of the words, encouragement etc. that you get from SM. I don't think you should give up so quickly on BF but you definitely need to express what you need, give him an opportunity to give it you and, if he doesn't decide whether it is worth it to you. Just my opinion. I wish you the best of luck and will keep coming by to read what you decide.
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IT'S SUCH A SHAME! on 2008-04-11 11:52:10 |
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Reading your post, I could almost feel your emotions. I am so sorry things didn't go as planned. Is this about one of your children? Unfortunately, most children don't appreciate their parents until they grow up but I am sure that he/she loves you with all of his/her heart. And, more importantly, knows how much you love him/her.
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My New York visit on 2008-04-11 11:19:44 |
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As a New Yorker, I wish I could see it through your eyes during your previous visit - when it was vibrant and full of energy. It still is but you have to look really, really hard to find it these days. There is a lot of diversity in the people living and working here; beautiful architecture and charming restaurants and cafes, however, people have to remove their heads from their cell phones to see these things. (I agree with Roe, the phone/Blackberry thing is totally annoying!!) As a single person, New York City can be a great place. I do not, however, want to live there forever. I, am, however, pleased that people treated you so kindly. It's nice to be proud of my fellow New Yorkers - we get a bad rap sometimes!
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I YEARN for normalicy on 2008-04-11 11:06:35 |
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Here's hoping you get what you want. Very soon!
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To myself be true on 2008-04-11 10:40:20 |
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Thank you all for comments. I am in a corny moody, so I am going to respond to all of them:
Ellie - I love fondue - that's a great idea. I do plan to buy a set of kitchen supplies - it's on my to-do list. Unfortunately, that list is 10 pages long!
Blue - if Camera Guy screws up, I'm calling you in to kick his ass!
Pitapie - thanks for the dinner offer. I might just take you up on it - tuna fish gets boring after a while.
Prelude2it - Glad to hear that I am not the only paranoid one - being positive takes work. I have my down moments too - trust me!
Bittersweet - I love your blogs too! I wish you wrote more often.
Angelwings - you always have such kind words of support. Thank you!
Overthehillandfaraway - Thanks again for your comments. I am glad my post brought back memories.
Soulunderconstruction - "thank you" about sums it up!
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Can you have it both ways? on 2008-04-10 18:07:15 |
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Thank you, overthehillandfaraway, for sharing your experience. I hope to someday find what you have and I appreciate your words of wisdom!
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The lost art of thinking on 2008-04-10 13:36:39 |
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I have a pet peeve about thinking - my assistant at work just never does it. She ALWAYS asks me "how" without even trying to figure it out on her own. I try to never ask a question (at least a work related one) without trying to figure out the answer myself first so that I at least know what questions to ask.
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Can you have it both ways? on 2008-04-10 12:17:54 |
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Thanks for the male perspective, Whiteknight! I think I just need to find the balance where I feel sufficiently thrilled to be with someone yet safe in knowing that they are crazy about me as well. I want to WANT someone yet not necessarily NEED him. I want him to NEED me though so perhaps I do have the upper hand after all. If that makes any sense.
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Response To Comments In Previous Blog… on 2008-04-10 12:09:19 |
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I didn't read your first email until now but I have to agree with the other commentors that your friend's email was totally strange. She has to go home to her dogs and that is her excuse for waiting until the last minute to see you? Strange. And, to characterize your concerns as "bullshit". Mandie - you deserve better friends that. Let her enjoy her husband and her dogs and you enjoy your family, other friends and those awesome summer plans you've got going!
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Can you have it both ways? on 2008-04-10 10:21:17 |
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Thanks for all of your comments. A few of you wrote about expressing love and adoration in different ways and that is something that I never really gave too much thought. People do communicate in different ways. When I would express my frustration with Brian, he always looked at me like I was crazy and people would say that perhaps he just doesn't express his emotions in the way that I need him too but it doesn't mean the emotions are not there. In his case, I am not sure what was there - something, but not enough for me. However, different ways of communicating "feelings" and "passion" is something that I am definitely going to have to remember. I am kind of a late bloomer in the ways of love, if you haven't already noticed...
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5 New Men In My Life !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on 2008-04-09 17:53:01 |
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That was awesome.
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Validation or Love? on 2008-04-09 16:49:34 |
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You are not a bad person. Maybe you do not have enough self confidence and it makes you feel good to have guys pay attention to you even though you don't really like them. Although you should definitely be careful not to hurt someone else's feelings by leading them on, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it either. The fact that you feel guilty about it is proof that you aren't all that bad!
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How We Met on 2008-04-09 16:44:03 |
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That's a great story! Like you said, it doesn't matter what brought you together as long as you are happy. And you sound very happy.
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Slip of the tongue syndrome on 2008-04-09 15:40:00 |
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Who doesn't see the humor in farts? Farts are funny. Especially the silent but deadly ones - my mom was an expert at those. My sisters and I used to give her so much abuse for those but she would just laugh and tell us to watch tv somewhere else if we didn't like it!
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Men, we need to stop laughing on 2008-04-09 15:20:29 |
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Amen to that.
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Another one Bites The Dust on 2008-04-09 14:48:27 |
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I have so many friends who end one "serious" relationship only to enter another one a few weeks later. I never understood how some people seamlessly go from one relationship to the next. I, on the other hand, don't connect that easily at all but when I do, the connection is difficult to break. Perhaps your friend is just not comfortable enough in her own skin to be boyfriend-less and therefore has to go from man to the next in order to avoid being alone. Anyway, have fun on your date!
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Beautiful on 2008-04-09 14:41:52 |
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This is my first visit to your blog but I wanted to say that I think it is wonderful that your husband told you that you were beautiful and even more wonderful, that after all of years of marriage, those words are still enough to make you so incredibily happy. That's awesome!
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Night at the Drive-In on 2008-04-09 14:19:52 |
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Bittersweetheart - haven't heard from you in a while - glad you are back! Thanks for all of your comments and I look forward to reading your next post. I always enjoy them!
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Soulmates on 2008-04-09 12:09:47 |
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I am so happy you found someone who makes you happy! It feels wonderful, doesn't it? I always tell myself that I will hold onto those wonderful feelings and keep them with me even if they don't last forever. And I agree with Slash, usually if your feelings are that pure and strong, they are likely reciprocated. In your case, I certainly hope so and wish you oodles of joy!
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Tina 1976 – 2008 on 2008-04-09 12:00:54 |
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Oh, wow. That is so horrible, KP. I am sorry for your loss. It just goes to show how precious each day is and how quickly life can be taken away. I don't know how anyone can be so selfish as to drive a vehicle under the influence of alcohol. Wow - I am rendered speechless.
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| Posted in
great advice on 2008-04-09 10:10:28 |
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Great post and great philosophy as well. Easier said than done though, at least for me. I always try not to let the "garbage men" get me down but it doesn't always work. This post was a good reminder to keep trying though!
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The Fast clock on 2008-04-08 17:17:10 |
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That's hysterical. Totally sucks to wake up, shower and find out that you could have slept another hour. Ugh! I, too, set my clock 20 minutes fast so that when I wake up at "6:15", it is really only 5:55 and I can snooze 2 or 3 times. The mind tricks actually work!
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take me out to the ballgame but dont make me watch on 2008-04-08 15:54:25 |
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Baseball is the best! And chocolate covered strawberries aren't too bad either. Have fun!
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REKINDLE THE FRIENDSHIP on 2008-04-07 15:14:49 |
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That was really great! In the past years, many of my friendships have just slipped away and it is sad. I do, however, have friends with whom I only speak once or twice a year and it is like no time went by at all! I agree that being "too busy" isn't a good excuse not to keep in touch with someone but sometimes the effort (or lack thereof) put forth speaks volumes about how much the friendship meant in the first place. I will make more effort but after a while, I need it to be reciprocated or I just let it go.
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Application to Date my Daughter on 2008-04-07 15:09:40 |
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That was great. My favorite part was actually subtle "Please allow four to six years for processing". Love it.
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Stupid was written all over this one on 2008-04-07 14:30:38 |
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Oops - didn't mean to hit submit twice!
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Stupid was written all over this one on 2008-04-07 14:30:15 |
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Totally gross but, as always, friggin hysterial. Do you remember how Afro guy responded to your regurgatation of Taco Bell on his head? You are lucky he didn't beat the crap out of you!
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Stupid was written all over this one on 2008-04-07 14:30:13 |
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Totally gross but, as always, friggin hysterial. Do you remember how Afro guy responded to your regurgatation of Taco Bell on his head? You are lucky he didn't beat the crap out of you!
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No appeal whatsoever?? on 2008-04-07 14:23:15 |
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That totally sucks. I wish I had some advice - I work in the legal field but don't know anything about matrimonial law. I can't believe you can't find anyone to help you - your ex-wife is a total bitch to change things on you after your attorney bailed. HE should help you since it never would have happened had he finished the job.
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Master 4 turns 5 ... FOTY Free party on 2008-04-07 12:14:13 |
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What a jerk. I agree with KP! Poor kid will be sad if his daddy isn't there and years from now, he will surely resent him for it.
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Power to Steven on 2008-04-07 12:07:18 |
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Colorado - you say the nicest things and your comments always make me feel wonderful. As always, THANKS.
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New Day -- New Life on 2008-04-07 10:56:23 |
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That was a great post and so true. Each day we have an opportunity to do better - no sense in harping on the mistakes of the day before.
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Just when I thought it was safe .... on 2008-04-07 10:52:21 |
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Brainstormer - it's not just about what time he called but the fact that he called over and over and over and over...When she didn't pick up the first time, he should have gotten the hint.
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Confession on 2008-04-06 15:37:44 |
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AWESOME NEWS!! I am so very happy for you, I might just crack open a beer on this cloudy New York afternoon!
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Just when I thought it was safe .... on 2008-04-06 15:32:38 |
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Definitely drunk and looking for a booty call - typical 20-something single guy behavior. I am dealing with my own persistent teeny-bopper. At first I was flattered, now I am annoyed. Although still a bit flattered...
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13 Things that make me glad to say Good-bye on 2008-04-06 15:29:26 |
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"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking for"???? As a wedding song? WHAT A TOTAL A-HOLE. Not that the other items on your list served to redeem him. Good friggin riddance.
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| Posted in
Maybe I'll just come to America .... on 2008-04-06 15:26:12 |
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If you make it to the Big Apple, you'd better look me up!
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Almost 1 year ... on 2008-04-06 15:23:37 |
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It really is amazing how strong we really are, right? A year ago, you probably thought your life was over and now you have realized that, despite all of the pain and heartbreak, you were able to come through with your head held high. GO YOU!!!
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Ranting about life on 2008-04-06 15:13:07 |
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Your friends mean well, of course, but only you can decide what is right for you. You will in your own time. It seems like there is a lot of good in Brian mixed in with some bad. All relationships come with good and bad. Perhaps the good in Brian can outweight the bad. You just have to decide, IN YOUR OWN TIME, whether you can live with the bad because, people cannot change who they really are, no matter how much we want them to. You are such a nice person and deserve all good things!
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Precious Moments on 2008-04-06 14:45:47 |
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KP - I am SO happy for you and for all of your loved ones, especially Whiteknight. AMAZING NEWS.
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| Posted in
Precious Moments on 2008-04-04 13:25:35 |
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Whiteknight - I think your's takes the cake.
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| Posted in
Power to Steven on 2008-04-04 10:05:27 |
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You guys crack me up! I'm just annoyed that I allowed the loser to make me feel bad about myself.
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| Posted in
To blog or not to blog that is the question on 2008-04-03 18:38:13 |
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I am glad you will continue to blog and I look forward to seeing how your story unfolds. Like Shemelts, I see things in grey tones as well and would never judge your relationship with Whiteknight. I wish you both nothing but happiness and I am glad that, above all else, you blog for YOU and that it makes you feel good.
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Relationship requirements on 2008-04-03 18:20:16 |
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I think preparing this list and comparing it to what you do and do not get from Brian is definitely a good start. I never realized until my last relationship how important communication is and how it can affect a relationship when two people are on completely different wave lengths in that regard. It seems like you need to discuss things and Brian is really bad at it or, like many men, just doesn't like to express his "feelings". I hope it all works out the way you want! (If I didn't know better, I would ask for Brian's last name just in case I was dating the same guy! Scary similarities.)
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| Posted in
I’d Rather Be At Disney World… on 2008-04-03 13:31:56 |
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Besides being mobbed by toddlers and young'uns, you would have to be in full makeup and costume - it gets REALLY hot in Orlando in the summertime. Might not be too comfortable, although it does sound fun.
I'd like to slap Chatty myself - I really hate when older women think they knew what "young" people should and should not be doing. She's probably in a horrible marriage and wants some company.
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My Secrets Exposed… on 2008-04-02 17:49:56 |
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I can so relate to 2, 3 and 8! Your number 5 made me laugh - go for it girl!
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| Posted in
Camera Guy Update on 2008-04-02 16:58:41 |
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WK - Hooray - Another Yankee fan!! Good game last night! They play 20 games in a row - hopefully, they will do better this April than last.
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Precious Moments on 2008-04-02 16:57:05 |
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Blue - I did that once to my grandma. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would. (Just kidding! I just read your last post...)
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