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| Scared Beyond Reason (Literally) |
Mom's spine went out on her and she hasn't been able to sit for the past 3 days. Hasn't been able to smoke a cigarette and anyone with an addiction knows what that should be like.
My tooth is abcessed. And as I research it like I do everything, I find that it's not something I can just brush under the rug.
It can cause facial disfiguring, spine problems, heart problems, and other serious complications if left untreated.
I have no health insurance.
I will seek aid from clinics who specialize in the poor people.
Root Canal vs. Extraction
I've yet to decide. I gave up and said to just yank it out.
But they say it can cause bite problems when the teeth move since there's that gap there.
Still, root canal is pricey.
My heart doesn't feel good.
I'm not in thought-obliterating pain, begging for the sweet embrace of death but I don't feel "quite right." I feel like I'm just...there's just no way to describe it but "unwell."
Isn't that such a general term? Pathetic.
Anyway, since we have no car, we'd have to get someone to take me.
Jon's mom wants to take me and has offered. She don't want to get nothing but root canal because "no young lady should walk around with a hole in their smile."
Alas, she won't be paying for it.
/sigh.
I didn't want to go. I would have rather waited for my own mother to take me since I despise dentists and my mouth is one of those "touchy subjects" and a very sensitive one as far as pain too!
But, I think as this was from the beginning, a test from God, I will be forced to do what I must in order to preserve myself. I will go with this mother in law of mine. Be scared shitless in the face of dental care, rack up an enormous bill, most likely cry from pain and/or said bill, and look like a complete idiot in front of his mother, the dentist and him.
I just want to cry. I hate dentists. I hate doctors. I hate trusting those bastards with my health because it's always been such a fragile thing. I used to get sick every year on my birthday, dead of winter. I have no enamel on my teeth hence my teeth have been rotting since I first put sugar in my mouth when I was like 2. I'm scared and I'm being ripped out of my comfort zone as an introvert because *I'll* be the one in the chair. *They* will be watching *me.*
This is not something I want to do.
Then again, life isn't about what I want.
It's what I'm supposed to learn from it.
Learn to be an extrovert?
Learn to take better care of yourself?
Learn to put faith in God to care for you when you cannot care for yourself?
I'm sure it's one of those. Or all of them.
Still, I do not like it. I do not like being pulled in from the side lines.
But again, if that pain from the other day resurfaces, I'd face an evil dentist first.
I feel so bleh.
I'm not even hungry and I'm always hungry late at night. I feel sick. Nausea...eck.
I hope faith brings me through this again. Lord knows this is one of those things I just do deal with on my own.
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Posted by Mendacious on 2009-09-08 07:11:51 | Rating: | Views: 27
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