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| A New Hobby. |
Let's see, let's see. I haven't anything to write about lately, so sorry about the weird intervals between updates. Dude, comment, please! I love them...Screw Dumbledore and his whole "Voldemort doesn't know love" crap. I love your comments, Oh So Faithful Readers! And my mum's meatloaf. (See "Please Don't Sue Us, JKR" post.)
I've been doing a lot of thinking, though. You know, the normal: what to have for breakfast, how to kill Harry Potter, what colour socks I should wear, did I leave the stove on, how to kill Harry Potter and his little friends too, what do I need to get from the supermarket, the recipe for strawberry muffins, why are there handicap bathrooms at the top of a building without elevators, how to kill Harry Potter...?
You know, same 'ol, same 'ol.
Then, when I boarded a particular train of thought, a strange idea came to me. What would it be like to live on a farm? I would send all my Death Eaters there, too. We would have cows, chickens, sheep...I don't know, giant mutant man eating plants? I haven't any clue how to come about farming. I'm insanely jealous of all those muggle farmers that can just sit around on a tractor all day and watch the sunrise. *sigh* If only my life were that interesting...
So imagine I was at a Death Eater Gathering when I told them this:
Me: Hey, guess what, everybody?
Death Eaters: What?
Me: I wanna send us all to a farm!
Narcissa: WHAT?! A fat farm? ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!?!?!?! I'll have twice the figure you'll ever have! *Breaks down crying*
Me(To Narcissa): Crucio! That's what you get for 1) Speaking out of turn, 2) Insulting my figure, and 3) Being an emotional wreck.
Me(To Death Eaters):That's what happens when you let your emotions get the best of you! So, bottle them all up and release them in anger when dueling those blasted Order of the Fried Chicken People! You'll surely win, then! Don't listen to those psyhcotic muggle psyhcologists! They're wrong! And they're muggles, and muggles don't know anything! Oh, and let that be a lesson to you all, DON'T INSULT MY FIGURE! I take great pride in it.
Me: ANYways, we're all moving to a farm and raising mutant man eating plants. I leaning towards a corn-pitbull hybrid. Yea. That'll be completely spacey. (That's a good thing, FYI) We'll all get up at the crack of dawn, too! Anybody who disagrees will be tortured and killed! Any questions?
Death Eaters: *Silence* *Crickets Chirp* *Faint Music Playing*
Me: What is that bloody noise?!? DRACO MALFOY!
Draco: *Jumps up like a frightened kitten*
Me: What are you listening to? Huh? ANSWER ME BOY! CRUCIO!!
Draco: *Mumbles incoherrently*
Me: WHAT?!?!?!!?!?
Draco: Coldplay on my iPod...they're really good, okay?
Me: *Taps foot impatiently*
Draco: ...My Lord.
Me: *Smiles* That's what I thought. Anyway, what is this Coldplay of which you speak?
Draco: A band, my lord...a muggle band.
Senior Malfoys: LE GASP!
Me: Cool. Can I listen?
Draco: Sure...my lord.
Me: *Listens to them for a while* Dude, these guys are AWESOME! Let's go see them on tour! We'll be groupies and everything! *Takes out pocketbook* Scratch the farm idea...*Mumbles while writing*...become groupies for Coldplay...make them my minions...use...subliminal...messaging...EXCELLENT! Off we go! One, two, three, APPARATE!
Yeah. That's how I went from farming to music.
So we all went to a concert, I forget where, though. I guess that there was a wizard there or something and called the Aurors and the Order of the Flaming Flamingo. Soooo, we all started dueling and crap. It was awesome. The atmosphere was terrifying. I loved every minute of it!
It turns out that Chris Martin, lead singer for Coldplay, was a wizard too. He started dueling me and everything. Makes sense 'cause he was a bloody Gryffindor, I found out. I almost killed him, but his music was too good. I just imperio'd him and sent him to kill off some people. Quite a fun time if I do say so myself!
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