Clarissa left me a really sweet note in my mailbox the other day, and it pretty much made my day. At the same time, it's one that made me think, and is still driving me to distraction a day or two later. In the note she thanked me for being so faithful in coming to the Phi Mu bible study sunday nights. I really enjoy being there, so that seemed like nothing to me (although the new initiate meetings for Phi Sigma Pi are on sunday nights, so it seems that I'll be missing most of the rest of them this semester... *sigh* another obstacle). She told me that God speaks through me beautifully... something I didn't really think about. Sure, I'm always kind of impressed with myself when I manage to pull out some insight or analysis from what we're reading and discussing, but I didn't think it could really be helping anyone else out, just that it was pretty sweet to think about on occasion.
Anyway, she then went on to say that she was blessed by God through me, and to thank me for being what a Phi Mu lady should be inside and out. That's the part that really got me and made me think... Me, a blessing? I mean, we've been talking lately in church about God sending people as gifts, but I didn't think that I could possibly be a gift to someone like Clarissa-someone I admire and look up to. And I certainly don't think I'm what a Phi Mu should be inside and out. I struggle so much, and I do so many stupid things... that's not what a Phi Mu should be. Love, Honor, Truth, remember? I don't think I would choose those three words to honestly describe myself.
Clarissa and Amy are graduating this semester, and they won't be around next year when I'm in the house. I'll still have Angie and Ali and Becky and such, but I don't know... there's something about those (former) two that I think I really need to be around. It amazes me that Clarissa could possibly feel the same way about me, when I feel like I'm such a screw-up. Here's the verse she left me with... advice to live by, really.

O God you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you... because youre steadfast love is better than life my lips will praise you.: Psalm 63:1-3