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Which one is it? Have I failed or succeeded today? I don't even know myself, Ana's voice is strong and pleased, my rational voice is sad and in pain...........so what happened.............here is what happened...........I have not eaten today, chances are I will not eat today. I have no plans for tonight, so other then exercising there is nothing on my agenda. I will be meeting with my therapist again this week and she is not going to be happy. I have been hospitalized in the past but always discharged myself because I could not cope with their very direct and upfront approach. So my therapist and I are taken the long road home, which so far seems to work........as far as maintaining an acceptable weight (bottom of BMI scale) but still I feel and sometimes I even want to loose this fight. I don't care much about life and so it seems that dying to be thin will literally consume me until the end.....
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Posted by MayaMae on 2008-07-12 17:17:20 | Rating: | Views: 51
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