I just really need to vent (& it’s not about work &/or my coworkers this time)! I’m super stressed/depressed & all I want to do is get together & talk with one of my best friends. Well, I sent her a message this morning to see what she was doing tonight, I know that she was online & she hasn’t responded. This just adds to how crappy I’m feeling today. I have always been there for her no matter what & this is how she is treating me. I feel like a damn outsider among my own group of friends. Plus, my sister has been talking to my best friends more than I am & that is really getting to me. She just needs to have her own friends instead of taking mine! I’m so upset, like right now while typing this I’m crying…I just hope someone doesn’t try to come talk to me at this moment. Thank God for tall cubie walls!

I did some research on the internet last night about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) cuz I just have not been feeling like myself lately. Well, it turns out that every symptom that I found, I am suffering. I’ve always hated winter but these last two years have been awful. The Sunday before Christmas Eve this year, we got a huge snowstorm & I bawled pretty much all day (I’m not one who cries all that much so that’s what makes it unsettling). I didn’t want to be trapped in the house & I was. I got so frustrated after trying to shovel a short five foot distance that I threw the shovel & ran into the house crying. I don’t feel that I’m me anymore. I went to my friend’s house for a Badger party on Tuesday & just kinda sat there not saying much to anyone but Ayden (another friend’s two year old son).

I need to get out of this funk really bad. I need to get out of town. If I had money, I would totally be going on a vacation right now. I was debating whether or not I should drive to my “happy place” tomorrow just to visit it. It won’t be the same because of the wintery environment but maybe it would help. I don’t know. LG, you may be stuck with me for some weekend pretty quicklike.

I know that some of you have suffered from some form of depression, any pointers on what I can do for myself to get back to being me? I’m going to try taking St. John’s Wort (I’m a vitamin taking gal, so I’d rather try that first then getting a prescription drug), working out every weekday morning & maybe start tanning once a week (to get my UV doseage).