Since I’m extremely bored here at the workplace, I decided to come up with a list of things one could do when bored…

1. Close out files.
2. Make jewelry out of office supplies.
3. Play 165 Pickup with the paper clips.
4. Start shooting staples at the hangings in the cube – 25 for hitting the Cold Call List, minus 10 for hitting Dale Jr./Corey Hart cards, minus 15 for hitting Beanie Baby bat that frightens Weymo, etc.
5. Rearrange entire desk.
6. Construct a huge poking device with all the pens.
7. Steal all the rubberbands & make a huge rubberband ball to bounce off the walls of the cube.
8. Make a door out of binder clips.
9. Rearrange entire desk again…back to the normal way.
10. Gather together all the snack foods & put in alphabetical order on desk.
11. Daydream about how great it would be to run away to a beautiful beach setting.
12. Draw one of those “flip cartoons” on the Adult Drug Treatment Court pad of paper.
13. See how many pieces of paper a push pin can actually hold up.
14. Build a fort out of files.
15. Craft a tiara out of file fasteners.
16. Bench “The Big Stapler”.
17. See how many times you can spin around in your chair before blowing chunks.
18. Curl into a ball underneath the desk & take a nap.
19. Cover computer monitor with “Sign Here” flags.
20. Have races between the Junior AC Delco car, Packer helmet & running snowman.
21. Start up the coffee warmer & see how long it takes to melt down the cap to the pink highlighter.
22. Throw pens up to the ceiling to see how many of them will stick.
23. Buzz a coworker, hang up with out saying anything & move to the next coworker. Be sure to buzz self so you are not caught.
24. Ask to borrow a coworker’s lotion & use it all...on your feet.
25. Type up memos in your made up gibberish language & hand out to coworkers.
26. Buzz coworkers again, this time give them the “raspberry” via telephone & hang up.
27. See how long it takes to use an entire tube of cherry Chap Stick.
28. Make a bed in the Kleenex box for your Chicken McNugget figurine.
29. Play the bucket game from The Bozo Show with coworker’s garbages.
30. Turn all hangings in cube upside down & then try to read/look at them.

Okay, the only reason I’m ending this now is because I have to finish closing out the files I’m working on & then go file for Rhino.

“You little s**t-stick-Mayberry-ass reject. There has been a murder, and you are going to fry in hell if you don't do something about it.”