Why is that all the morons come out right away on Monday morning? I’m already in the mood to strangle someone with the cord to my typewriter. Not only that but my morning didn’t start off all that well before I got to work & dealt with the morning morons. First, I couldn’t get my contact in my right eye…went right away in the left but the right wasn’t having it – took me FOREVER. So, that put me behind. I had to be at StickBoss’ house by 7:30 to feed & let out her dogs – one dog wouldn’t eat, another took forever to eat & the last one wouldn’t come in when it was time for me to leave. So already, I want to punch a wall. Then on my way to work on the slick roads, this frickin’ douchebag doesn’t feel that it’s necessary to stop on red & almost takes me out! Grrr. Then I arrive at work & get a call from this whackjob potential client with some kind of numbers that he needs Rhino to look into. “Ah, psycho, your initial appointment is for this afternoon. Therefore, Rhino does not know anything about your case. So, WAIT UNTIL YOU COME IN!” Then I have Rhino over my shoulder while I’m on the phone (I hate that!). I’ve had to reschedule an appointment for a bankruptcy client for the millionth time & then had to give her directions to the law firm…she lives in the same city & doesn’t know where the Courthouse is. “Sweetheart, the town isn’t that big & there is only one courthouse, how can you not know where it is.” Oh, then I have Rhino on my case about this client & that client. “Dude, I haven’t had a chance to look at anything sitting on my desk or email – so chill the f**k out!” I am really going to lose it. Although I have sworn off booze…I would take great comfort in having a drink right about now!

Now that I’m completed with that rant…wow, I can’t believe all the little quotes I have in there. Ha, ha! Anywho, if it wasn’t for you folks, I would probably be in the mental institute right now getting cigarettes lit for me (I don’t smoke but I would take it up just to have someone else light it for me – ha!). It’s kinda like a relaxing vacation…except for the guy in the corner screaming out that Satan is on TV (“No, that’s just Paula Abdul.”), the gal on the couch petting her hand as it were a cat & the other guy rolling around on the floor trying to escape the flying dragons.

I pray that this day gets better, otherwise, I may end up driving into the river…I’m not that far away from it as StickBoss lives right on it.

Here’s to a happier late morning…

“My son is sitting here right now with his hand glued to his penis, but that doesn't mean anything to you does it? Because you don’t have a penis. Or maybe you do?”