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| Maybe Some Miller Lite Will Work…
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I don’t know what the Hell is going on but the Brewers are sucking! Six games in a row they have lost! What the Hell?! So, I have decided to maybe give the guys some pointers…they should really try them cuz whatever they are doing now, is not working!
~Ben Sheets: you should never get hurt cuz whenever you don’t play, another loss occurs. There should be some special drug that you can take that would allow you to pitch in every single game.
~Eric Gagne: you know what, don’t change. I don’t care that you give up runs just for the simple fact that you look like Screetch from Saved by the Bell.
~Craig Counsell: maybe try hitting the ball with your nose…it may work, it’s big enough. I’m sorry, I should pick on a fellow Big Noser. Lord, I apologize.
~Prince Fielder: EAT A DAMN BURGER! I heard that back in the day, you used to rip them outta the park. I haven’t seen much of that. I can just assume it is because of this whole Vegan diet you are on. Okay, a boy your size needs meat! I’ll bring you a big ol’ porterhouse with lots & lots of A1.
~Bill Hall: I say bring back the pink bat & pink wasteband. Oh, & maybe take your mom with you to every game. You seem to play extremely well when all three of those things are taking place.
~JJ Hardy: okay, you are hot, I won’t deny you that. But stop thinking about how stunning your eyes are & concentrate on the game. After the game you can go back to thinking how attractive you really are. I’ll even get you a mirror to look at yourself in if you get at least one double play. & I’m talking a really big mirror!
~Rickie Weeks: that massive necklace you wear all the damn time, take it off for a game just to see how it feels to play without it. I beat you that you’ll be lighter on your feet!
~Ryan Braun: maybe you need to come up with some ritual to perform in the outfield like you do when you are at bat. Perhaps you won’t slide for a ball, miss it (which should have been an easy out), & it turns out to be a double. How about this, you do well, I’ll come to Milwaukee & rock your world. ;)
~Mike Cameron: I didn’t even know who you were when you came back from your suspension. You came in with a bang! What happened to that guy?! You need to find him again cuz he was AWESOME!
~Corey Hart: you are the main reason I became a fan of the Brewers, so I won’t bash ya too much. Plus, what is there to bash, you are amazing. However, maybe, just maybe, you should try to wear your sunglasses at night. They may have special powers, you never know until you try. If you want, I will come to all the games with my boombox blaring I Wear My Sunglasses At Night by the other Corey Hart.
I hope this helps some of the guys out, we really need something. I have two games planned this year & if they are losing, I will have to take out a loan to drink beer at the park to help me cope.
“The only thing we had in common was that she was from Iowa, and I had once heard of Iowa.”
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Posted by Mandie142 on 2008-05-09 10:55:03 | Rating: | Views: 71
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I loved this post. I don't follow the Brewers but I am sure you gave some great advice. The Yankees could use some of it too.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-05-09 10:59:29
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Maybe I'll get on the Yankees site & see what I can come up with. It could be really fun cuz I'd really only be going off of looks & nothing else. Hey, that could be fun! :)
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Posted by Mandie142
on 2008-05-09 11:03:02
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