I have sat here staring at a blank screen for an hour at least.  Not really sure where to start or how to start.

I've been in contact with a few people from here via e-mail.  They have really been the deciding force on me coming back.  While maybe not as much, I will post.

I know it seemed like I just kinda up and left with no apparent reason, but the reality is that it has been along time coming.  There was nothing one particular person said to me on any given day that pushed me over the edge, more like a bunch of little things that I just kept letting roll off my back until they finally all piled up on me.  Am I ready to talk about it?  Not on here, not yet, maybe never.

My personal life caught a bullet to the chest.  I keep asking myself how can one person have such bad luck all the time.  That I'm not ready to talk about yet either.  I will when the time comes, but I'm not in the clear yet.  I've decided it best to just wait it out for now.

The date.  Was amazing.  There's been plenty more since then.  He's helping me through this situation so much now, most guys would get scared and run off, not him.  Like I told KP he's a great guy, always has been.

Maybe it's partly my fault for letting things get to me.  I'm easily hurt.  Or maybe it's rightfully so that I've been hurt.  It was un-necessary for people to blast me on here as they did, but hey, they don't know me right?!?  Sometimes it doesn't matter whether they know you, you know them, whatever.  Words are still words and they still sting.

Like I've said before being on this site has helped me come to realize that there are some plain evil people in this world.  Sometimes I like to believe that I live in a bubble world where there is no evil doings.  An odd thing for someone who works in healthcare and has seen the exact evil that people are capable of.  I've held an elderly woman in my arms while she died due to a stray bullet in a drive-by.  I've seen the young mother who has been beaten beyond recognition by her boyfriend/husband, I've seen the child that he been abused by it's own mother.  I've seen evil at it's worst, and I've seen good at it's best.  Yet for some reason I want to believe that in my little world there is no evil, there is no satan.  Only God. 

Thank you Whit, LadiLucifer, Douglas, Mandie, KP for your e-mails pushing me to come back.  Thanks douglas for keeping me laughing.  Thanks Mandie and KP for being my sounding boards.  While I didn't let off all my steam, it was good to have someone to talk to.