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Have you ever woken up with that uneasy feeling?
Kinda like you're nervous, but not really?
I can't describe it, but that's how I woke up this morning.
It's like I'm nervous, but I don't know why and it's like I'm just sitting here waiting for something awful to happen.
I hate this feeling.
It completely messes with my day.
I woke up late, had to jump in the shower and get ready in a 15 minute timeframe. Needless to say when I got in my car, my hair was still soaking wet.
It's pretty much a straight shot from my house to the hospital. If I take backroads I can get here in about 15 minutes flat.
Not this morning, when I pulled out I was so lucky to have a cop ride behind me the entire way. So much for speeding huh?
So, I was late for work.
When I got here, it started.
I made an honest mistake, and didn't even realize I was making a mistake. Anyways, in the end a case was booked wrong for tomorrow (even though they fixed it).
My boss came in and told me what I had done, and I apologized and explained to him why it was scheduled the way it was. How do I know I'm wrong when I don't know that I'm wrong?
Anyways, the executive decision to punish me has come around. Do you know what my punishment is??
To stand in on the surgery.
That's right, I'm going to stand in and watch someone get their chest cracked wide open.
Whoever made that decision obviously takes me for a girl who has a weak stomach and vomits at the sight of blood. Well that's not me, I live for blood and gore, the more the better. The whole reason why I really want to work in an inner city trauma hospital. Gun shot wounds and stab victims....I love that shit.
So it doesn't bother me to stand in during that.
Not 10 minutes later I get a phone call about another case. They asked me why I booked it the way I did.
Long story short, I had no answer for them, all I could tell them was that I don't know and I was sorry.
The case has been on the books since May 22nd. In my opinion it should have been caught way before the day of surgery.
I'm sorry I'm only human, I make mistakes every once in a while. I'll admit it if I'm at fault. That separates me from alot of people right there. I don't blame others for my fuck ups.
So I'm an in competent dumbass in the eyes of probably damn near everyone I work with all because I'm having an off day.
This feeling I don't think is ever gonna go away. |
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Posted by Mamacita925 on 2008-06-05 11:18:33 | Rating: | Views: 82
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We all have our bad days, luckily we get to go to bed and start over tomorrow.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-06-05 13:48:30
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I definitely know what it feels like to wake up with an anxious feeling - like you know something is wrong, but you don't know what. Sorry you had a bad day and, yes, we all fuck up and, no, not everyone has the ability to admit when they make mistakes. It is a good quality. My boss's favorite saying is "the question is not WILL you make a mistake" it's "WHEN will you make a mistake". Anyone who says he never screws up is a big 'ole LIAR.
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Posted by Meredith
on 2008-06-05 14:09:18
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I do know that feeling-and it is awful. What do you do at the hospital? That's kind of a bizarre punishment if you ask me.
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Posted by ladiegodiva
on 2008-06-05 15:45:49
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I know the feeling well... I am sorry your having that bad day... **Throws you a life jacket** lol I hope tomorow is a much better day, and just remember to smile.
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-06-05 16:31:03
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Everyone has off days...it happens but it seems like all the "wrong" things come back & bite you in the ass all on the same day...they're not spread out. It sucks! Well, I hope today is a better day for ya!
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Posted by Mandie142
on 2008-06-06 10:15:00
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ahhhh, you know what!? My boss just pulled me up on some things that I think are just things that happen. I debated the point with him for awhile, then I thought well "F*ck IT" shit happens..... sometimes ass-holes make it happen, but othertimes it just happens....
hope that isn't too crass!!!
Now about the sleeping in thing, I've now got 5 alarm clocks for my fridays.... can I loan you one??? :)
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-06-06 11:51:38
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Blow it off. These people who are on your case are not infallible. My grams treats me like that. Like everything I do is stupid and she never makes a mistake.
As for the standing in on surgery, I'm with you. I would love to see someone getting their chest cracked open. That wouldn't be punishment for me either. I think your lucky you get to see it & I'm a bit envious. In a good way.
Hope things improve. In the mean by don't let the man get you down.
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Posted by Faith
on 2008-06-06 15:54:47
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Yeah people who are on your care are really not infallible. They make think they are but they aren't. I know people who act like that. I have started to ignore them.
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Posted by Fancie
on 2008-06-06 16:13:36
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For what it's worth, people that are so quick to point a finger of blame usually do so because they know their own fuck-ups WAY outnumber yours!! Sounds to me like you have poor management running the place. A good manager recognizes when a person feels bad about their mistakes.....means they care, and since no one is perfect, caring about your job is about the best anyone can ask. Don't let THE MAN getcha down. We know you rock, so what the hell do they know?
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Posted by BlueMoonInMyEye
on 2008-06-07 01:13:34
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From one ED nurse to another RN, blood and gore is why we work there!! While your watching the surgery think about how much boring crap you'll miss.....enjoy! :)
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Posted by Kaybee
on 2008-06-07 02:41:56
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