wow, this past little while has been very revealing to me. It's shown me quite a bit of the reason other people seem happier than I do. They don't give a fuck. I mean, they just don't care about other people. If they want to step on toes, that's ok. I was sitting at Tim Hortons earlier, and they guy I was supposed to meet up with didn't show. Now, I'd gotten used to being ditched by girls, that then progressed to annoyance, but now that this guy wanted to meet up to discuss whatever, and he doesn't show, well, it made me mull over a thought. I want to be like these people. I want to be able to tell other people "hey, I just don't respect you or your time. I think you're an asshole. Go fuck yourself." just like these girls and now guys are doing. Sure, I bust my ass volunteering and leading groups, and even preparing 'Appreciation nights' for those I lead, Does anyone do shit for me? No. And I've never asked. So I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm going to let people know what I'm good at, and what I deserve, and if I think more highly of myself than you, then don't expect me to keep appointments. Oh, and if I promise I think you're important, and I'd love to lend an ear, don't actually expect me to take action on that. I don't actually want to hear your whining. I just want you to shut up. If a false promise will accomplish that, so be it. I've already taken some action on this today, and I have to say it feels really good. To put myself above those who would cut me down is a great feeling. If you knew me - which you don't - you would realize that this is quite a change from they guy who leads a church drama team, mentors a young kid, sets up the childrens sunday school every week, and volunteer's whenever he can. I've found that if you stoop to help people, others will step on you. I'm tired of it. and so, dear reader, I finish with this note for you; Fuck you.