| View Blog
|
|
| Why do I give up my happiness for the one I love..
|
|
|
Lately my boyfriend and I have been fighting about the amount of time he spends locked in the office... Every day for an estimated 6-8 hours per day he spends in his office, on his computer with the door closed. He has made it very clear to me that when the door is closed I am not to disturb him. I understand everyone needs their alone time, I need mine too.. but, 6-8 hours is way too much if you ask me (but no one asks me - my opinion is meaningless). He tells me I have trust issues I should understand he needs his space. I always give in and resolve to give him what he wants.
So, this evening we had another one of these arguments during the two-hour drive home from my parents house. The last hour of the drive we did not talk and I promised myself that I would learn to do other things that don't involved him (go to the gym more often, go out shopping when I want, rekindle my old obsession with myspace, etc), I would disturb him to tell him dinner is ready like I ususally do (rather I will leave his dinner in the warm oven for an hour, then if he doesn't eat it I will box it up in the fridge), I will go to bed alone and not complain (take benedryl if needed), and for Valentine's Day I will give him what he really wants (an entire weekend alone nd trust me at this very moment nothing sounds better to me than renting a hotel room, alone, and drinking myself to sleep). So, I resolve to become the small, unnoticed, meek girlfriend he desires - I will speak when spoken to, come when called, and hide when he needs his space. What a glorious life I lead.
None of these resolutions are anything that would make me in the least bit happy, in fact the opposite is true. Why do I always change myself and my wants to make my partner happy? It's stupid, but I do it and I will continue to do it. He will continue to want more and more space, and I will back further and further away and continue to feel more and more negligible. But, I'll do it so he's happy.... Why am I so pathetic? Why can't I commit to what I want and make a man work to give me those things?
|
|
Posted by LunaSea on 2008-01-13 22:29:20 | Rating: | Views: 56
|
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
don,t worry your not the only one,at the ripe old age of 60 I have been making my wife happy and avoiding my happiness for years.Its a matter of avoiding a worse situation ,an ultimate confrontation resulting in alot of miserable emotional feelings and actions ,subconsciously you want to avoid. Love is a strong emotion,do you have a means of support? Are you afraid he might get physical if you confront him. Iam thinking that you still have a good love life with him.
This issue could go on forever.You love him enough where I think the last thing on earth would be to leave.
I believe you need to express your feelings to him,people will tell you hes treating you like crap.
Its hard to change and my advice at least formulate a escape plan
|
|
Posted by flipmaster
on 2008-01-13 22:42:38
|
|
|
|
|
I was reading your other blogs,I think you.ll adapt Your seem to be happy enough.However the issue of the locked office will subconsciously eat at you unless you just blow it off.At least from what I read there is no abuse issues9Pysical)
|
|
Posted by flipmaster
on 2008-01-13 22:46:14
|
|
|
|
|
You know what you have. Don't expect him to change. Whatever you do, you should do for you. Is it better with him as things are now or by yourself? That is a tough decision only you can make. I wish you well.
|
|
Posted by HungryHeart
on 2008-01-13 22:48:36
|
|
|
|
|
For 5 years I also gave up my happiness for the one I loved, It is hard to make people change....you can't make them change...but why give up parts of yourself for someone who doesn't even notice you are there? It is the hardest, you may not think that you are giving up pieces of yourself, but not getting what you need out a relationship is giving up parts yourself. Good luck
|
|
Posted by lissajane
on 2008-01-13 23:10:00
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
