Hey Julia,

Well I recently had similar experiences with two of my friends. But this time one of the girls was grieving while the guy didn't seem to care, and in the other, the girl, although she admitted she was hurt, she acted as though everything was alright in front of the guy. So I guess it’s about the person's personality at a given time.
But the best thing you can do when you find yourself in a situation like this, where you want to say something comforting but you just can't find the right words: It's best to just be there for the person and just listen to what they have to say, cause he had something in his chest that he wanted to let out. A lot of guys won’t admit this but sometimes a guy just wants to talk to someone that will just listen to him. So I think you did the best thing you could have done. :)

I think there are very few men who are like this. I think it's awesome that he can see it. The only thing you can do is give him hope that in the future things will work out because he can work on himself and not take the same issues into his next relationship.

Each and every person is different in reality,so you never know!
Being a girl myself, I have to admit that at some point of time, I felt the same about guys. But not anymore. At least,not all of them.
I think you've done a great thing by just listening. I guess you could try to help him by talking about happier stuff and not just discuss about his ex.Though it's important that he lets out what he's feeling.

Julia -- Many years ago, as a young girl, I thought this as well. I have had the extreme privilege of being a confidant and friend to many men. While, for the most part, men hide their pain in public, their hearts bleed, break and hurt as much as, if not more, than their female counterparts. Unlike a woman who calls her girlfriends, when heartbreak comes calling, men tell me the world of men does not include the sharing of these feelings. On some level men expect other men to brush it off and move on. You handled this properly by listening and providing a safe haven for your male friend to share his feelings. We all need to remember that, when it comes to the human race, we are more alike than different. Peace.

I disagree with Prelude that very few men take breakups hard. I think men are just as sensitive to having their hearts broken as women and often take even longer to move on. Sure, they might find someone new to hang out with/sleep with, but many tend not to easily fall for another woman afterwards. I've known many men who have taken breakups extremely hard. They might internalize it more than women though - women like to talk about it and express their feelings more. Men like to pretend they are ok when they really aren't - the whole "macho" thing.

I just realized I pretty much echoed CD's comment!

i swear i did my post about this subject before i read this. but i will add to my post that i also trust julia anwould entrust her with my broken heart.

BOO YA!!! wow, a girl admitting she is wrong on something... Hmmm. LOL. Anyway, all you can do is just listen to him cry and talk about his recent break up. Instead of talking to him, try taking him out so he keeps his mind busy. Thats all.

I've rarely been the one to break up with a girl. The major exception, in fact, is my ex-wife. I feel confident I was over her the moment she moved out, and I really did not feel much (if any) different after our divorce was final. My great remorse, with regard to her, until recently, has been an occasional sense of guilt for having taken up so much of her time and for not releasing her sooner, so that she might have a chance to have children. Recently I spoke with her, and she told me she cries at least once a day about our divorce; so now I feel awful about that, too. But, although I care very much about her, I really don't hurt because of her absence.

I'm a dreamer, though, which most women find entirely impractical and useless; so women almost always break up with me -- usually by the third date. It almost always hurts -- terribly. Most of the time I get over the pain within a month or two, but there have been times when it has taken a year, or more, to get over a woman who broke up with me. Scarlett and I never even dated, never kissed or even held hands -- she just rejected me, out of hand, after so much flirting with me -- and it's been the most painful thing I have ever had to endure (I fancied her from the first time I laid eyes on her). So, yeah, guys often (perhaps usually) do hurt when a relationship is over.

Just listening to your friend was the best medicine and you did just that. Men grieve just as women do, no different. Perhaps some men retreat instead of opening up to their friends & family as women tend to do, but not all. Pain is pain, none of us is immune.