That's really sad. It seems your friend is lacking in self-esteem if she'd rather put up with someone like her boyfriend than go at it alone for awhile until she meets someone more deserving. Again, it's really sad but, unfortunately, only she can make the decision to leave him and actually stick with it. In my opinion, it's NOT love; it's fear.

She will talk to you over and over again, but until she really wants to move on she wont! For some reason she knows staying with him is silly but something keeps her rooted to him. She knows he can't chancge and wont change, just be her friend and listen to her stories over and over again!!! She'll need you.......
Fingers crossed she makes a decision soon rather than in years to come!!!

I know what it's like to see someone put up with way too much abuse from someone that is suppost to love them. It's hard to watch!
We all go through things. Hopefully we learn from them. We learn what not to put up with in the next relationship.

Hard things bring us out somewhere God wanted us to be later.

Just be there for your friend. That's about all we can do.

That's sad. I think relationships can be work but they are only worth the work if both people are faithful and in it for the right reasons. It sounds like your friend is with him for fear and not really out of love.

The only thing you can do is be there for her. She has to want to leave him and do it on her own.

Meredith, I also think it's not love. And yeah, she fears of being independent and taking all responsibility for her actions.
I just wanna encourage her and help her to make the right decision (at least some decision). But I have run out of words...
Thank you for stopping.

LMarie, such situaton has been continued for almost 3 years by this moment. And stories are usually the same :( Do you think only listening will help? I don't want her to marry him, to bear this for her whole life...
I'm with her with my fingers crossed.
Thank you for comment!

Anotherdaze, I agree, we learn from our mistakes. And hopefully, she wouldn't behave the same in the next relationship. If they would be. Because I'm not sure she will ever break off with him...
I've forgotten to mention, he threatens her saying if she would left him, he wouldn't let her live in patience. He even threatened her with a knife, crying he would kill her... It's really scary...
Thank you for answer.

Prelude2it, oh, it's so hard for me to see her crying and telling terrible stories... I don't see any future for their relationship. He doesn't appreciate her personality, her love, her care... And I don't get it why she allowed him to treat herself like this...
Thank you for comment.

Many times man and women are taught at a young age that they have to have the other in life to succeed. A man to protect you and keep you safe... a woman to be there for you an nurture you even as an adult.

And as we lget older we not only fear makking a bad mistake in leaving people but we allso fear being alone... who is going to hold me at night.... who is going to tell me its going to be ok when I have had a rough day... who is going to protect me when I am scared...

Maybe for your friend you can not talk to her... you have tried and in her mind she understands the truth... but in her heart she still fears. Maybe you can take her out to do things that will give her strength? Take a girls trip, let her drive... have her do things that she only does with him... do not let her know why you are doing this because that will build up a wall... but just tell her you need her... so she will be helping you... the more she does... the better she will feel about her self... I have helped a few friends stand on thier own two feet after there relationships went south. in those cases though there was either physical or mental abuse, where they were told that they were nothing without that person for so long they believed it. This might be different but the way to help them still might work that same....

You are a good friend....

Douglas, you're right. Thank you once more for your support.

The point is that I acn't take her out! He doesn't allow her to walk with us, to go shopping and he tells we have a bad influence on her. Though she wants sometimes to go out for a pizza with us, she is afraid of possible consequences... And she stays at home. We see her only in the university. Nowhere else.
And it complicates the situation...

ahh yes that is a problem then... I thought maybe she did not go out because she did not want to. She may just need support in leaving him if she will do so... men that act like that are pigs

Yes, they are even worse than pigs!
I can't understand why girls allow them to act like this! Because I think if the girl put herself in such a position there is her fault also.
Personally, I would have left such a jerk in the very beginning of relationship!

He doesn't deserve her. She loves him so much and obviously,he doesn't feel like reciprocating.
I feel terrible for her. Maybe you can tell her stories about other people who went through something similar. Stand by her side and show her that she has true friends besides that jerk who isn't even a true friend by the way. Best of luck!

They say that love and hate are very much alike and that they are so closely related it's hard to tell them apart at times. I think I agree with that. Men will never change. They are always going to be the same where ever we go. Women have just lowered their standards to accomodate them. Good read for a Monday evening.

Thanks for your advise, HardThinker. I do my best.

Dreampower, thanks for stopping by.
They also say there is just one step from love to hate. And sometimes it's hard not to make this step...

Yeah I agree with HardThinker, Showing her your support as a friend, that you and your other groupmates will help her and be there for her if she leaves him, would encourage her to leave him once and for all. Cause that's just not healthy for her.

WOMEN'S number one problem is... the "He will change" factor. This is what leads to the saying "nice guys finish last" because some women always want to grab a dickhead and turn him into a little project.
GOOD POST!!!

MAKE your friend to read my posts hahahaha. Maybe she'll wake up to reality. =) hahaha

Ha ha, anonimo1922, thanks for comment!
I wish she knew English and could read your posts... Cause I love them!!!!

Is it love? Maybe in some way...

Is it the love that we all want and deserve? Absolutely not.

Unfortunately, your friend will need to realize this for herself. Statistics show that women in abuse situations will leave the abuser 7 times before they make the final break. It takes that many small steps to make the final leap. I think the best thing you can do for your friend is to continue to support her, listen to her, and love her. Maybe you can also find a phone number for a women's abuse rescue shelter. They will have resources for both you and your friend.

I wish you both good luck! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she will realize what is going on sooner rather than later.

Your friend either feels trapped by her boyfriend/situation or is addicted to him. This is not a loving relationship. Her boyfriend is immature and possessive; his thinking about her and their relationship is juvenile, narcissistic, and borders on psychotic. There's really not much you can do for her. She has to want to leave him, and be willing to do so, in order for this insanity to end.