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So a question I've been bouncing around my head the past few days is simply put...How can you miss something you never had? I guess this question arises from how I'm feeling or should maybe say how I've felt in the past.
For example say you develop a crush on someone and since I'm a guy I'll say a crush on a girl. So as happens so many times a person likes another person, but that persons feelings aren't recipricated. Ok this is common and happens a lot; but getting back to my question. In my more recent experience I developed a crush on a girl, through school saw her several times a week and became friends with her. I tried and I tried and I tried to simply get her to go out on a date with me but failed miserably lol (sometimes I have to laugh at how terrible I am with women). Then finally my last ditch effort to get her to go out with me was offering to take her see the band Lifehouse in concert, which if you know lifehouse is a band that every girl loves, mostly because of their son "You and Me". Anyway I invited her to the concert and she enthusiastically said yes and we talked leading up to the day of the concert about the details and how much fun it was going to be. So the day of the concert arrives and foolish me I told my friends that this girl finally said yes to something I'd invited her to and that I was really looking forward to going to the concert with her. So the day of the concert was one of my good friends birthdays and so I was at a party for him during the day and then was going to head home, change, and go pick up the girl and head to the concert at around 5. At about 1 only 4 hours before I was supposed to pick up this girl for the concert she sent me a text saying that she didn't feel good and didn't think it'd be a good idea if she went to the concert. I felt incredibly frustrated and embarassed when I read this because I'd already told my friends I was going with her and besides the embarassment I now had 4 hours to get a new date for the concert that at this point I didn't really want to go to. I ended up calling this cute girl I knew from high school and we went together and had a good enough time but it was overshawdowed by the fact that this girl I had originally invited turned me down yet again, which led me to the realization that she would never think of me in the way I'd hoped she would, and that maybe I never really had a chance. So now that I've gone into far too much information on the background of what led me to the question of...How can you miss something you never had?...I'm left with my feelings, & at the moment I miss this girl. Despite the fact that my mind tries to rationalize with my heart and that we never dated, only spent time together outside of school once, and that she was quite possibly way out of my league or any league of women I could ever hope to date my heart still misses her. & I wouldn't call it infatuation or love...it was just a little more than a "kindergarden crush".
Now I feel kind of stuck in this train of thought although at the moment I don't have much more to say about the girl so I'll just leave it at I miss what I think we could have been? lol (sounds terribly pathetic i know lol)
Bit of a transition coming on...we're switching my train of thought over to the idea of taking life seriously for a change. This past year I finally took school seriously and did fairly well which leads me into this next year of school. For the past year I finally thought that I was wet on a career in finance and was happy with that decision until the past few weeks, in which I've had many people family and friends question why I didn't want to go into advertising, or something with more of a creative aspect to it. So now after a year of thinking I knew exactly what i I wanted to do with the rest of my life (career wise...although with my poor luck/skill with women it may be the rest of my life or at least it feels that way). Anyway so as I sit here thinking about the rest of my life I'm thinking that I don't want to work in a bank and crunch numbers. I'm realizing that I'd rather do something I'd love doing and I'm also thinking that the amount of money that I make isn't as important to me as I'd previously thought. Looking back on my first 20 years of life there are so few things that I did in which I truly applied myself, and I'd like to change that in the following years. I just want to do something that matters to someone, I want to be there for friends and family when they need me, and most of all I just want to be a good person. Jeeze its almost 5 am and I'm rambling and will probablly look back at this post and wonder what the hell I was thinking writting all this down as proof to how obscene some of my thoughts are and how randomly the pop into my head; but I'll leave all of this unedited because my purpose for these blogs is to express myself 100% completely unedited and honest so that I might get to the truth about some of my feelings and just workout any thoughts or problems I'm having. So with that I've got to go as the voice thats been calling me to bed has been getting louder and louder every second. So good night & I'll catch you next time.
Thanks for listening (reading)
Joe
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thank u for sharing your experience,and i dont think it is tragical,it is really natural in the contrast,u like someone,but she does't like you,hey,cheer up,she is just not the one for you.and i am sure there must be one for you,waiting for you the same as you waiting.so dont lose hope.
and it is really good to think it matters to do things for someone,for family and friends,that's like a really good son and trustable friend^^
really nice post,keep it^^
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Posted by nina880224
on 2008-07-21 07:45:33
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| Views: 81
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