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Sooo...there's this boy. His name is Ryan. He's my best friend. He's always there for me and has helped me through soooo much. We started out as friends and now we are dating. Here's the thing. He used to date one of my friends and she hates the fact that we are friends...so obviously she doesn't know that we are dating. We have been friends for 9 years, but aren't real friends. If that even makes sense. She see's me as competition, not a friend. She's another story.
So back to Ryan. We are "dating" we don't have a label on it though. He says he's not ready for the label, but wants me to give him time. I feel stupid for waiting, but I love him and feel that I should give him some time. I know he's not seeing anyone else and I know he was in a bad relationship before. So do I continue to wait? I don't what to do. I love being with him. He gives me those little school girl butterflies in my stomach. I am sooo in love with him. I haven't felt this way in years. So I figure if I have these feelings it's worth a shot right? Or am I wrong? Am I being stupid? I don't know. I have gotten my friends opinions and they are all different so it's not a huge help and I know I can't really listen to them because it's up to me. It's my life and my heart. Like I said I love him. I just want to be with him. He makes me so happy, but if you couldn't tell by reading this, he drives me nuts. I wish I knew what was going through his head. That sounds so cliche lol. Like I said before I think to much. I'm sure I should just let things happen naturally, but I have control issues and I don't like the fact that I can't control this. It's driving me nuts. There will prolly be a million blogs about Ryan and my mixed feelings. A lot of times I think that I'm afraid to let him in and that I'm the one doing this, but then I wonder if I'm just making excuses for him (this is why I hate my brain)
Okay...enough for tonight. I need to try to sleep. Sorry for boring you with my sob story...
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Posted by LostMommy19 on 2008-01-06 02:58:26 | Rating: | Views: 46
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wait if you love him wait for him i think your story is sooooo sweet i had a relation ship like that to AND YOU DIDN'T BOREW ME IT was so ausome hey lets be friends Ash*
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Posted by ash7
on 2008-01-06 20:57:52
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