You don't need money for help. All you need is a computer or a library card. There are also lots of local programs designed to help people who can't afford help. Try http://www.integrouscounseling.com/
for starters. It sounds like you need to treat yourself first before you can find someone else to treat you the way you want to be treated. The people who you choose to have in your life, reflect they way you feel about yourself. It sounds like your man is a nice guy, giving you a second chance. Just be up front with him and tell him you don't want to be a mother figure at this time in your life. It will do no good, and if he runs away, well then thats his choice. And you shouldn't be chatting with this other guy, unless you want to be with him. But if thats the case, then you need to come clean. To sum it up, you need to find yourself or at least get a grip of whats going on in your life first, before you start or get more serious in a relationship. And don't hang out with the daughter if your not committed 100%. It will do her no good. You need to have a stable relationship with yourself before you are able to have a stable relationship with someone else.

Dear Lost,
Andrew made some very fine points for you to consider.

The most important one was when he advised that you get yourself together first.
Your at that place where you want it all and you want it now, but you are not ready to work for it.
Dedicate yourself to a career and a goal in life that you want to accomplish for yourself. Focus only on that for now, and the love you seek from another will find you when the time is right.
If you can only feel good about yourself through another persons eyes, then you are lacking in self esteem and you should get help to find out why.
I see by your picture, that you are an absolutely beautiful girl and you can get any guy you want.
That beauty will fade and you'll have to rely tottaly upon your intellect and your heart.
If you do good things for yourself and the world around you, and you don't play games with people emotions, then real, good, honest love will find you in time.
Be patient and focus on making yourself the best you can be, and then all the other things you desire will find you.


Love & Peace,

jwcj

Don't let your problems get in the way of your happiness. Thats what my therapist says. Andrew is right. There are many programs that can help you. The university that I attend offers therapy for an hour a week for 10 bucks a session. It has been great for me and I know that it can help anyone who gives it a chance. Besides blogging was my therapist idea for me. It helps to get your emotions out on the table so you don't bottle, or lash out. Getting my emotions out helps me stop having theses weird kind of days. Besides, you know that you are a great person with great instincts for what is the best for you. Follow your heart. Who will treat you the best? Who will love you the strongest and hardest? Who lets you really be you? That's your answer.

Have you tried talking to your doctor about how you feel. He can tell you your options. What you are saying has happened to me and you need to help yourself first. Then you can decide on who you love.Good luck.

good points made above. but you're not in trouble here. everthing you wrote in that mail is absolutely normal. some details are specific to you of course, but what you feel is very human. you're not going crazy.

the fact is that you're at a point in your life where you're looking for love because you NEED it to help you deal with all the pain in your life. that's why you're considering just these two guys. in all probability, other guys out there will give you something much closer to your definition of a relationship than either of these two guys.

you have to understand that you're not an insane person. what you're going through is a part of you and because of that, its ok. from what i can see, you're just very fragile right now. being in college after being home schooled all this while. i'm guessing you haven't been exposed to the birth of people politics. simple words may sway you. have you seen the fakeness that truely exists in most words though?

you're extremely vulnerable here. but you need to talk it out with some1 who YOU think understands you. some1 who's spent enough time with you who can figure what would make you happy. talk to that person about all this.

but remember that YOU are fine the way you are. and whoever you end up with, should love you for everything you are.

run do not walk away....charming and irresposible, deadly combintaion and especially after a child has entered the picture....This is a red flag of large proportions... Ever wonder why his EX is now his 'ex' think it through...... and leave it alone...

Little one you need to do some more growing up and yes it may involve tears for a while. You need to finish growing up sweetie. find life out side the campus and the drama of where it all is for now.... what you are calling love sounds like c-dependence and the false thinking tha no one will ever love you more than they do right now... wrong.... call on the God you prayed to and find some counseling and support groups... on the net if need be. Go to a church.... they usually have progrms too.

Little one you need to do some more growing up and yes it may involve tears for a while. You need to finish growing up sweetie. find life out side the campus and the drama of where it all is for now.... what you are calling love sounds like c-dependence and the false thinking tha no one will ever love you more than they do right now... wrong.... call on the God you prayed to and find some counseling and support groups... on the net if need be. Go to a church.... they usually have progrms too.

Little one you need to do some more growing up and yes it may involve tears for a while. You need to finish growing up sweetie. find life out side the campus and the drama of where it all is for now.... what you are calling love sounds like c-dependence and the false thinking tha no one will ever love you more than they do right now... wrong.... call on the God you prayed to and find some counseling and support groups... on the net if need be. Go to a church.... they usually have progrms too.

Church programs? are a joke. at least in my eyes they are.

But thank you for the comments!! I agree some growing needs to be done. I have realized and have come along way now....Thank you

Whenever things don't happen the way you want them to, there is a temptation to name it destiny. This is how you deal with failure; you are consoling yourself. Whatever situations you are living in, to be human means that you can mould situations the way you want them.

But today, most people in the world are moulded by the situations in which they exist. That is simply because they exist in reaction to the situations they are placed in.

So their question will be, "Why was I placed in such a situation? Is it my bad luck, is it my destiny?" Everything that you know now as "myself" is just an accumulation. Your body is just an accumulation of food. What you call "my mind" is an accumulation of impressions that you have gathered through the five senses. What you accumulate can be yours; it can never be you. What is you is yet to come into your experience; it is in an unconscious state.

You are not even 100 per cent conscious of what you have accumulated. You are trying to live your life through what you have gathered, not through who you are.

You have acquired certain tendencies depending upon the type of impressions you have gathered. This can be changed. Irrespective of your current tendencies, your past experience of life, your genetics, irrespective of who your parents were, where you were born, where you grew up, if you do certain things with yourself, you can change this.

You can completely rewire yourself in 24 hours' time. A century ago, many things that people believed to be destiny or God's will, like diseases, infections and death are today in our hands because we have taken charge of certain things. What we call technology today is just this: Within the laws of nature, everything on the outside that can be taken charge of, we will take charge of someday.

As there is an outer technology, there is an inner technology or inner engineering. Everything that this life is, is naturally happening to a certain law. If you know what the nature of life within you is, you can completely take charge of the way it happens. Then would you let any unpleasantness happen to you?

Unpleasantness is happening to you in the form of anger, fear, anxiety and stress because your basic faculties — your body, mind, emotions and your life energies — are doing their own thing as if they don't belong to you.
It doesn't matter who you are. Life doesn't work for you unless you do the right things. Existence is not judgmental. Good, bad, all these judgments are essentially human and socially conditioned. Every society has its own idea of what is good and bad, but existence is treating all of us the same way. Who-ever is receptive right now gets the bounty of life. The whole aspect of yoga is to make you receptive.

If your experience of life trans-cends the limitations of the physi-cal, you become available to Grace. Suddenly you function like magic. Other people may think you are magic but you know you are just beginning to become receptive to a different dimension of life. And for everybody, this possibility is wide open.

When it comes to outside realities, all of us are differently capable. What you can do, somebody else cannot do; what someone else can do, you cannot do. But when it comes to inner possibilities, every human being is equally capable. You are not any less capable than a Buddha or a Jesus or anybody for that matter. All of us have the same inner capabilities, unfortunately never explored, never accessed.