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My Only Friend

Have you ever noticed that the one thing you hate is actually the one thing that sometimes you become?
I remember as a child seeing my godmother suffer from with bad depression... she still does suffer from it badly but as a child i told myself i didn't want to be so sad that i could just wake up in the morning and all i have the energy to do is cry.
I have been on prozac for along time now and my GP thought it would be a good time to try to see if i can cope with out them. Frankly both mum and i have noticed i can't cope without them. I am becoming a person i hate with out my dear friend prozac... the one friend who keeps me posistive... who keeps me sane. Am i a bad person to depend on a tablet for happiness?
Anyway last night i made a right tit of myself... i got nto a bit of a state long story and won't go into it.. But i rang Heero yes i know... i didn't know who else to ring it felt so weird i have loads of people in my mobile phone yet i felt i couldn't ring anyone not even the samaritans.. i am one of those people whos friends can tell them anything and it will go to the grave with me. My problem is i feel i can't share my problems with them as i am the one people come to with problems. I am the tough cookie. I am the pillar of strength. Yet i am the one who is trying to find away through the dark jungle which is depression. C'est la vie.. eh
Have you ever looked at your body and thought i hate this person who i am looking at. I am thinking of buying some fat buster pills... i know i know its a big scam but u never know they may work, but they have this deal on at the minute buy some fat buster ones get some breast enlargers pills free... now i need fat to be gone and breast to be bigger so it sounds like a master plan i will think about it maybe i might be able to wear nice clothes this summer not a 4birth tent.