I sit in this chair each day.. i turn on my computer.. the colours of the loading up screen calm me, the swirling greens a blue. I log on to my profile and i get this feeling of being home. Being were i belong. This world of letters and words, of virtual people whom you can tell anything without known judgement. So here i am in the large void reaching out my virtual hand for someone to grasp it and say everything is ok.
Lonliness is a cruel misteress with sadness as its master. This overwhelming feeling of no hope, darkness and longing, longing for someone to take notice of who we are as people, what we believe in and where we want to go. I am floating through this world in a bubble which i am sure makes me invisable. I go through each day being the person in background that person who you can't remember but it doesn't feel right if there not there. Like at school i was the fat kid.. that person everyone bullied but if i hadn't been there i would not have been the same. My name is on the tip of there tongue yet something blocks it from there memory.
I want to go to bed and lay in the dark and pretend today never happened. I hope this day will go quickly as i just want it over with. I am so lonely i could cry, that would kill time having a good cry. I wish Yota was here i need a hug so badly. I need someone to hold me in there arms and tell me im not alone and that someone cares. Maybe this is not meant to be for me.