Sign Up |  Login

     
 
    My Blog |  Popular Posts |  Top 100 Blogs |  Recent Blogs |  Random Blogs |  Write a Blog |  Manage Categories |  New Members |  Comments  
   View Blog
 
 work funnies

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1. TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don’t know what the f___ you’re doing.

2. TRY SAYING:
She’s an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She’s a ball-busting b__ch.

3. TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4. TRY SAYING:
I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.

5. TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You’ve got to be sh__ing me!

6. TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with…
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7. TRY SAYING:
I wasn’t involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It’s not my f______ problem.

8. TRY SAYING:
That’s interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9. TRY SAYING:
I’m not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won’t work.

10. TRY SAYING:
I’ll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the h___ didn’t you tell me sooner?

11. TRY SAYING:
He’s not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He’s got his head up his a__.

12. TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.

13. TRY SAYING:
So you weren’t happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

14. TRY SAYING:
I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I’m on salary.

15. TRY SAYING:
I don’t think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

16). TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

17. TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18. TRY SAYING:
He’s somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He’s a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources




    Posted by lolav on 2009-11-03 18:32:45 | Rating: | Views: 18
    Email This to a Friend            Print This Blog Post  

  Bookmark:
Permalink:  
   Blog Comments
  
Try saying...Hell with that, I just learned some new Instead ofs. Thanks with the help in my job vocabulary.
Posted by  TomasSISI  on 2009-11-03 20:37:54 
  
heh.. anything to keep my friends employed.. :) thanks for reading! xx
Posted by  lolav  on 2009-11-03 20:41:00 
  
This made my day at work !! Forwarded to everybody at work....
Thanks for posting.
Posted by  Anshuman  on 2009-11-04 00:30:13 
  
:) glad you made good use of it :) thanks.. xx
Posted by  lolav  on 2009-11-04 16:09:55 
Would you like to comment?

    (Maximum characters: 5000)
    You have characters left.
  Blog Information
 

lolav
Switzerland

Latest Posts

 Sunday Bliss
 A thousand kisses deep
 bluebird
 religion chart
 happy

lolav's Links

 No links found

Blog Categories

 poems/expressions

Blog Archive

 November 2009 (31)
 October 2009 (42)
 September 2009 (5)
 August 2009 (39)
 July 2009 (72)
 June 2009 (59)
 May 2009 (59)
 April 2009 (17)
 March 2009 (2)

Comment Archives

 November 2009 (266)
 October 2009 (319)
 September 2009 (54)
 August 2009 (402)
 July 2009 (454)
 June 2009 (553)
 May 2009 (535)
 April 2009 (268)
 March 2009 (53)

   Bookmarked Bloggers
MOZ
View Blogs
mtvonca
View Blogs
EasyToSay
View Blogs
puck
View Blogs
sarafeline
View Blogs
funnyman57
View Blogs
gkc1968
View Blogs
manolini
View Blogs
Forthew...
View Blogs
vestige...
View Blogs
Dumpling
View Blogs
DouglasMB
View Blogs
brainfr...
View Blogs
Evanesc...
View Blogs
Hugh_Pi...
View Blogs
Angie_vV
View Blogs
Night_D...
View Blogs
brokenp...
View Blogs
Evetspo...
View Blogs
dreampower
View Blogs
wraithw...
View Blogs
AllThin...
View Blogs
isucked...
View Blogs
greunie
View Blogs
hollowman
View Blogs
bigd49
View Blogs
overthe...
View Blogs
Crimson...
View Blogs
skip1957
View Blogs
   Bookmarked Posts
You...
An open...
Woman
THE...
For LolaV
Walking...
Lifetim...
PROMISE...
Is...
My hump...
Hopeless
EVERY...
The...
MAKING...
Pucks...
Concord...
life...
never...
Dragon
UNCONDI...
be...
time
MY...
for Lolav
Weather...
Lola,...
GUYS-Qu...
A tip...
a...
The...
Page load time: 0.83857583999634 ms