So this weekend I have a party to go to which I'm looking forward to meeting some new friends through and all that. You know, I've been single now for about three years - flings here in there in those three years but no boyfriend. Throughout the three years I've always felt like - I just didn’t need a boyfriend.. or I have/had so many plans and a boyfriend just wasn't included in those. Through the years I've been hassled by mates about why I don’t have one or when I'm going to get one. I've had ideas by my family thrown at me that maybe I was gay ..and just couldn't tell them. lol, I know - if THAT aint embarrassing - I don't know what is! However, honestly, I know I've just not found that guy for me so I haven’t wanted to waste my time dating them. The other thing is when you THINK you've found somebody you'd like to date - just to see where it could all go and they turn out to be a drug loving fool, just after one thing or a hard core mummy's boy. I also hate when they chase and chase and chase and then all of a sudden STOP you have to ask yourself - are they all finding out something I should know about?? lol. Dating is hard - well, for me anyway. I think the other factor that falls into it is that I know who I'm looking for and within my circle he's hard to find.I would love a guy that...

1. Understands my past, accepts my present and supports my future.
2. Is a family/relationship kind of man but doesn't necessarily want to start one tomorrow.
3. Has his own goals, achievements and failures.
4. Loves to surprise me with the little things of picking me up at work to a great weekend away.
5. Loves those nights in and those nights out dancing/drinking with friends.
6. Is a dork in his own right but knows when to act cool.
7. Has some kind of fashion sense.
8. Has a kind heart.
9. Will help me when I can't fix it anymore.
10. Will love me as much as I love him.

Anyway, the reason I say all this is that I think I'm now ready for a boyfriend - I'm ready for the brick wall to come down and I'm kind of hoping that he'll be at this party on Saturday but as I said - I know my circle and what I'm looking for - wont be there. What I'm looking for is a Jake Gyllenhaal. Lol. If only, right?!