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Oh dear god, it's the first of December. I just realised that. I haven't accomplished anything with this year. Time is just slipping away, and I am spending all my time wallowing in regret and anger. I feel so left behind. The whole world goes on, seconds tick away, and I am so incredibly stuck. I want to keep moving, keep breathing, but I can't. She is in every single one of my thoughts, every single emotion, every single decision. I can't watch certain TV shows because we used to watch them together, I cant listen to certain music, I cant eat certain foods, I cant go to certain places, I cant talk to certain people, I cant smell certain scents and perfumes because they smell like that place behind her delicate neck that would be tickled when I kissed her there...
One year. One whole year has passed since we parted and I have not moved an inch. I am still right there, she seems still within arms reach and when she isnt there, my heart collapses all over again. Am I devastated or psychotic? Have I lost touch with reality? What is my reality? Am I really alone or just waiting it out until she changes her mind? What will the next year be like? Is she still going to haunt me? Will I remember her body and predict her thoughts like I still do? Will I still be weeping for letting go of something that I should have fought for? Or will I spend Christmas with a new love like I am sure she is this year?
Or maybe she be will curled up next to me, holding my hand, breathing and thinking and being right there in front of me...?
Maybe. Right?
Right?
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Posted by Life_Without_Her on 2007-12-01 05:22:39 | Rating: | Views: 71
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You are indeed bewitched by this person. The only way you are going to move forward is to change your habits. Try activities involving lots of other people like Skating, Little Theater, Night classes, Swimming in public places. Find ways of doing things you like with other people. If you will involve yourself in things you like to do then your perspective will change over time and who knows you just might start to enjoy life again.
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Posted by BIGB0B
on 2007-12-01 11:58:42
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