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| Get fucked, Wonderboy. |
I've had yet another revelation.
I am really just a piece of meat, with sprinkles on top.
Let me explain.
All this time I've been trying to make excuses for the Wonderboy situation - over analysing, stressing, pondering, thinking up scenarios to define what it really is. Causing my own misery out of doing such things, too.
Thinking, "he's so nice, there must be something more..."
But you know what?
He's not nice.
He's a player. An actor. And a really good one at that.
And I am a daft fool for actually falling for it to ever consider that he could care for me.
No, I am just a piece of meat to him. Nothing more.
And I've let him use me all this time, causing me to paint an incredibly derogatory picture for myself.
I just fell for the sweet talk, and the way he acts so genuine....but really, he isn't.
Hence, me being a piece of meat with the little sugar coated sprinkles on top created by his words.
Fucker.
And yes, I'm a bit of a fucktard myself to take this long to realise, but hey, atleast I got there eventually, right? Better now than be a retarded idiot forever....
And you know what? I'm tired of being a fucking toy. I'd rather be by myself than be played with so recklessly. Even though I may not believe it alot, but deep down I know that I am worth much more than this piece of shit.
Such a fool, such a fool....
And now I'm stressing out because it's his birthday shit thing tonight and I said that I'll go - not that he'd even notice if I wasn't there, like he'll give a shit....but I have two friends going too who I would very much like to catch up with, so I suppose I will go.....
But, fuck, I've dug myself a hole.
Anyone throw me a rope?
Lex xoxo
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Posted by LexMorphic on 2009-10-10 22:46:26 | Rating: | Views: 89
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