Sunday night yet again, and I am sitting here contently - yet, bored - listening to my chillout music and pondering something awesome to do. So, I thought instead of doing the usual survey which usually serves me as a good time waster, I shall write a list of things that annoy me.
Why? Because I can. Duh.
Things that Annoy Lex (Because I dislike the word hate...):
- Public Displays Of affection. Yes, I get it, you are so wrapped up in your love bubble that you just can't keep your grubby little hands and dirty little lips off of each other, right? Good for you! But please do not do it in the vicinity of me or I think I will projectile barf all over your cupid-bitten faces.
Exhibit A: young scrag straddling her man whore in the food court in peak hour. Is that some new trick that assists digestion that I am not aware of? No? Then, there is a perfectly sittable seat right next to you.
Exhibit B: two love birds at work, in the CD aisle, browsing CD's, then all of a sudden are about to make a baby right near where I'm trying to work. Get out of my face and into a room. Or, better yet, stop it.
Exhibit C: love-blind couples in public group situations, when you are having a nice group discussion, and all of a sudden you look to your side for input and two members are sucking face right in the middle of the circle. Cool? I think not. Projectile barf for you too.
- Photobooth. If you are a Mac User, you know what I am talking about.* Everyday at work I have to seriously supress the incredibly strong urge to kill the little tweenie narcissistic scrags who come in and magnetise themselves to the iMac's, and start taking skanky photos of themselves for the next hour. Everyday. Seriously, some probably still in primary school, they come clambering up to the computers in their little tanks and shorties, start primping there hair, and protruding their awful fish pouts to the computers. For one, fish pout is not hot, it is just pretentious. And two, go play with your Barbies, far out you are far too young to be attemptin to be sexy. You are not.
What has become of the next generation? You parents out there are bringing up very narcissistic little individuals (narcissistic, oversexed, or undersexed, overexposed, needs a good talking to, they fit under any of those categories).
So next time you send your kiddies to the mall on their own with their friends, feel good knowing that they are probably at the nearest electronics shop flashing the computers and pouting those little mouths for the cameras.
If you are one of these people - I hate you. Yes, I used the hate word. Because in this instance I do. Brats.
*NB: photobooth is a mac software where you can take photos of yourself straight to the computer.
- Customers. In general, all customers suck. I don't really think I need to explain this one, I think the title itself explains it all.
- Stupid Customers. Now, these ones deserve a writing about! Again, while I'm trying to suppress the urge to kill the Tweenie Fish Pouters each day, I am also suppressing the dire need to stab idiot people who ask idiot questions. Why is it such a difficult task for some people to actually think before they open their sorry mouths? Is it possible that they are actually oblivious to their idiocrasy? I am finding it incredibly difficult these days to not automatically react to their stupid questions with a blank look that blatantly states, "WTF? You didn't just say that?"
Exhibit A: Me, standing in front of a massive cabinet of cameras. Customer walks up and asks, "do you guys sell cameras?" ....I don't see a walking stick or dog, so you have no medical reason for your blindness. No, no I do not sell cameras. These gadgets behind me just look like cameras, but really they are just useful tools for me to beat you over the head with.
Exhibit B: Customer asks me, "so, a HTC and iPhone are the same device aren't they?" I reply with, "no, they are two different handsets". Customer quizzically asks, "really? How are they different? I was sure they were the same..." Well, to start one is a HTC and one is an iPhone. Contrary to popular belief, the fact that they are both called something different, and look different, and do different things, tells me that they are not the same. No, apple is not trying to confuse you by releasing the same phone under two different names...douche.
Exhibit C: too many other idiotic people and incidences that would take an encyclopaedia to write about...hmm, maybe I could publish the "Encyclopaedia Stupidia"...
- Stupid Drivers. Especially old senile people who really shouldn't be driving. I have nothing against old people, except for the fact that many of them should not be allowed behind the steering wheel. Too many times I have had close calls with old idiots who have no idea what they are doing. On two separate occassions two friends of mine have had car crashes with old people, because they fell asleep behind the wheel. I bet if you made these people take the arduous P's test teens have to go through, they would not pass. Actually, I think not only old people, but ALOT of middle aged people would not pass the test teens have to do, because they really drive like idiots. And it makes Lex angry.
- Drunk People who can't handle their liquor and compose themselves. These folk are mostly encountered on the train causing a freakin fuss with their squealing and ranting and yelling and thudding all over the carriage. Stumbling down the stairs. Starting fights. Man, the other week I was on the train and there was a group of girls carrying on so bad, the two guys they were with came and sat up the top where I was and were so embarrassed by the way they were acting. I would be too, they looked and were acting like little skanky baboons. If alcohol makes you act like this, please do not drink.
I mean, I have been off my rocks many MANY times, but I still manage to hold my composure, regardless of how much I have drunk that night. Far out.
- Girls wearing tights as pants. I do not care if you have legs like a grasshopper and can fir through the stick of my chuppa chup, it just looks awful. Tights were made for the gym, or to be worn under tops too short as a dress or dresses a wee bit short OR under a dress for warmth. GAH!
- Girls wearing tights as pants with a VPL. Not that it is bad enough, but the vpl just boganises your look even more darling!
- Big Girls wearing uber skinny leg jeans. Now, to start with, I have nothing against big girls, I mean seriously I am not a twig myself, but when it comes down to clothes you really need to dress for your size. Just because skinny jeans are in fashion, does not mean you should get them and wear them. Wear what looks good, not what is in fashion. Otherwise, you look like a walrus. Not cool!
- Disgusting Eaters. I cannot stand people who talk with their mouth full, who chew with their mouths open, or who make unnecessary gross eating sounds when they eat. It makes me want to -again- projectile barf right into their disgusting mouths.
- Inadequate grammar. I get that there are people with legitimate learning difficulties, and this point excludes those people. But I am talking about people who evidentally use a lack of grammar, or incorrectly use grammar, out of pure laziness or some other outrageous reason. There are a few categories.
Category A: Words purposefully mispelt in an attempt to abbreviate. Abbreviations are meant to be used to shorten words and increase productivity and speed, yes ok. But, when someone writes "sorry" as "sorri", or ....far out I can't even think of another example, but seriously, you have used the same amount of letters, why not spell it correctly? Why are people substituting letters for incorrect ones? Like "HUGZ", sorry but it just loses credibility for me. I know I am probably being picky, but I seriously "seriuzly" hate it. I hate reading this rubbish writing in posts. I apologise if I offend, but I'm a literature major so I have respect for words and despise the disrespect of them by fools.
And I think that is enough of that for now. There is alot more, but I think my boredom filler has been substantial enough for it's purpose for the time being.
So, the real point of this blog is to let you know that....well, the snozzberries really do taste like snozzberries!
Over and Out Soldier
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