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I sit here listening to Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis while in the back ground my mother and younger sister have an argument because i refuse to put away dishes.
My house has been like this all day, full of yelling and screaming.
Mum pulls me out of bed at 10:30 on a Sunday after only 7 and a half hours of sleep, it is a Sunday, i dont get up early.
Either way i get up and take a shower, at the same time, to save me from doing it later, i wash the spa bath and then the rest of the bathroom.
I then start to clean my room that looks like a bomb has hit it, it hasn't been cleaned in like 2 weeks but it only took me about 2 hours to tidy up completely.
Mum was still in a shit mood for some reason.
Stupid bitch is going through menapaus (how do you spell that)!?!
So i finish my room and mum decides to go shopping cos we have fuck all food in our house, she gets home and me being me just goes downstairs to get the groceries out of the car as mum brings up one bag, only one, the bitch wouldn't dare bring up more than one. She has to make more work for me.
So anyway i bring all the groceries upstairs and mum in the mean time has managed to get my brother out of his room where he had been taking songs from my phone and putting them onto his comp. Mum then tells me to put away the groceries cos she cant be bothered doing it and Leigh (brother) sits on the lounge. Dad comes up stairs and says something to mum who then goes off her nut at him and brings up the subject of my brother who hadn't even been doing anything at the time. This lead to my mum, dad and Leigh getting into a full blown argument and i walked out. My sister followed in tears.
I eventually came back upstairs when the yelling had subsided a little and went to the kitchen to finish putting away groceries. Mum came into the kitchen and started going on about how my brother was lazy and she couldn't wait til he was gone and i told her not to complain to me cos i was on my brothers side. Mum gave me daggers and i walked off into my room.
Mum and Leigh got into another argument soon after and this time i just stayed in my room thinking about the last fight i could remeber the having in the house which occured when i was 2 years old.
Then Leigh had been 15 and it was all over just stuff. He hated my mother. She wasnt his but tried to act like it. Leigh wanted my fathers attention but my mother got it instead and he hated her for it. That fight that they had had when i was 2 sticks in my head. I remember Shane who was 12 grabbing me and taking me down the hallway shutting the door behind us. I remember him hugging me as we heard mum and dads voices getting louder and then Leigh yelling back.
Today reminded me a lot of that night. The yelling was the same and this time it was me who held my sister trying to act tough. I could hear the yelling and i felt the lump in my throat followed by a stinging feeling in my eyes. It was over not long after it started but it something that will always be there. I now sit here with music blaring in my ears trying to block out what is going on around me, trying to forget that when i get off here i go back to being middle child who gets all the shit. I'm so over this disfunctional family. We cant keep going like this. Im starting to become depressed again and i know that there is a gun in my house and how to get to it, that is what scares me. I'm not sure how far i can be pushed and i dont wanna find out.
I need help!
My parents dont realise that Leigh and Shane are what keep me sane, I need my brothers |
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Posted by Lemony on 2008-03-09 07:52:24 | Rating: | Views: 64
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Far out.
What can i say?
I know you don't have it easy
You know i don't have it easy
Another reason we're best friends, having so much in common.
Hmmm.
Hang in there? it doesnt seem enough.
but its all you can do
that or leave home
i'll live with you :)
we'll rent a house in jingli or moil :D
don't be depressed again, all we need is to be called emo and told to hang ourselves again.
*sigh*
what else can we do? *sigh*
maybe if i can get dave kicked out i can move you in at dads, n then you can get on youth allowance n pay dad for board and have meals and stuff <3 lol
well
im a phone call away
or a text or msn.
friends forever
luv ya
Love Emeh Xxxx
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Posted by hearxmexrawrr
on 2008-03-09 08:04:59
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