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"Just a day, Just an ordinary day. Just trying to get by."- Vanessa Carlton, "Ordinary Day".
I love this verse of the song, and right now it sorta describes everything that is going on in my life right now. My roommate has finally moved out which is weird and a relief at the same time. It is alot less tension, but at the same time I feel totally abandoned by someone that said that they would stick by my side. She claims that our friendship will not change but it already has......Life just totally sucks right now, and I don't know what to do about it. I woke up this morning thinking that today was just going to be like any other day and now the day is over, and it feels like right now I am just trying to get through one more all-nighter for the Bio exam I have tomorrow, or getting dressed up for the costume party, or meeting with my advisor about my "future". (which right now, it totally feels like it is non-existent!) I just don't know what to do anymore. I am at school at least attempting to pass all of my classes for the most part anyway, and back home my entire life is falling apart. My mother has finally left my father, which is also a relief but also a huge worry b/c that leaves my 3 siblings with even less then they already have. They have had such a hard life already, and now they have to feel abandoned by my mother. Even though it feels like both of my parents had abandoned them a long time ago, it just struck how much this is going to affect all of our lives. I look at all the people who go to school here, and just take for granted that they actually have a life and a family to go back home too for the Holidays, and all I have too look forward to is my father's insurmountable debt, and my mother's abandonment on a couch that I sleep on in my aunt's house. Sad day......and right now I feel like I am just trying to get by.......
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Posted by LeeLee on 2007-10-28 20:50:11 | Rating: | Views: 59
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