Yea... it's Friday. Not doing much of anything. Should be working a lot harder then I'm pretending to. We all need our sluggish days tho.

Can't wait to just get home , walk the dogs, put on sweats and eat my 'Outback ToGo'... Relax with my pups and my babes and just chill... uggh  why can't that be NOW!!! hahah I'm being such a lazy shit today.

Works been good, I've been on top of everything... until today where I'll probably put myself back a little. I don't care at all though.  I've been in such a weird mood all week. I've been fine yet weird.. Don't know how to explain it. I want all of these fake people(bitches) in my life that don't care about me to stop pretending like they care when they dont. I want stupid people to stop pretending like they want to hang out or help me stuff when they don't... SToP Being fake because people will probably respect you more. 

I'm at a lost for words... I put myself out there all the time. I open up to people I trust in hopes of letting them into my life... then they either don't trust me in return, or turn their back acting like I didn't just spill my heart.  I try my best to include people in plans we make as a group. I hate feeling left out, as I often am. So I try to not make other people feel like that.  I love how when I invite people to do things they give me an excuse... and I understand that not everyone can do everything all the time we do stuff. I completely and totally understand that, but how about those people that use every excuse under the sun everytime you invite them anywhere? So I stop? but then when I stop, do they invite me or Keith or anyone else to come do whatever they have planned or to come hang out, or even over for a fucking dinner like I so often invite them to do. Dinners that I pay for and cook myself not asking a dime from anyone because I just want to enjoy their company and time. So what do I do now? Stop? Pretend like I don't give a fuck, act like we're not friends like they are making it seem?  I'm tired of it. I have always have had loyal close friends. Family. I can't deal with people coming into my house and acting like they don't even fucking know who I am. If your gonna act liek your not having fun, if your not going to take the initiative to have fun... You know where they fucking door is. I'm done all 'bullshit' conversations, I'm done small talking, I'm done trying to make friendships out of something that's a one way mirror.

Lighter note, Tomorrow is my friend Dennis's Benefit (He has cancer and starting Monday, will be in his last week of Chemo). He wont be at the benefit, but I'm excited to see all the people I haven't seen in  forever. It's going to be such a great night and hopefully I win a lot of the stuff I raffle for . hahah. I never win anything, but it's going for a good cause so ever if I walk out empty handed I'm sure I'll walk out with a full heart and a smile. After the benefit I'm meeting Dennis at my house for a VIP party... No entry with out an invite type thing. Where the drunks will get more drunk and the stoners will get blazed off their ass... (You know I'll be in the Nuggy Hut all nigth)  :)

So I just got a call from my friend Chris